Who put the Ma in Glamazon? Not me!
It’s late at night and I’m doing double duty as usual, the multi-tasker that I am. I’m in the shower bathing myself while also scrubbing the tub clean. Fun? Not. But hey, someone has to do it.
It’s as I step out of the shower and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror that I literally do a double take. I don’t recognize myself. Who is this overweight, pudgy, middle-aged woman staring back at me? A nightmare perhaps? I wish. I was screaming (inside my head) but now, this is my new reality.
In between making sure all my children’s needs are being met, trying to keep up with all the housework errands, kid’s activities, being a good wife and keeping up on some freelance PR work I do on the side (so I’m not completely obsolete when I try and return to the job market) – I seem to have forgotten about taking care of myself. And this (belch) seems to be the result.
Adding salt to the wound, I often find myself on facebook staring at photos of my girlfriends from college (the majority of who I was in sorority). How are they all still so damn skinny and glamorous? It’s almost a blessing that I live across the country and can’t make it back for Homecoming or Founder’s Day. Because I’d have to diet my way across country (literally coast to coast) if I even thought of showing my face (much less this body) to those girls – who seem slimmer than they were in their early 20’s.
My definition of glamour these days is bathing, spraying some hairspray in and doing a quick blow dry – if I’m lucky. Most days my car’s air conditioner serves as my blow-dryer….surprisingly it works great when on Max! And what day isn’t glamorous when not wearing my uniform which is of course, a t-shirt, some designer jeans (there’s the glamour) and a pair of platform heels. Next up, driving like a mad-woman to whatever appointment I’m already late too and if I’m lucky, brushing on some mascara and blush at any red light I’m lucky to hit on the way.
Yeah, I’m wondering how these glamazon moms who I see at preschool drop off or pick up have the time to have perfectly coiffed hair, flawless makeup and killer bodies that don’t even look like they squeezed out a baby or two.
With the holidays quickly approaching it’s almost a guarantee that I’ll be facing some additional poundage…what with the leftover Halloween candy, Thanksgiving goodies and Christmas cookies on the way. What’s a girl to do. This one is gonna take her fat ass off to Weight Watchers. At least that’s my intention today. I have the same intention everyday but haven’t made it to a meeting yet.
So if you’re in my boat, please share your diet secrets and how you intend to tame your insatiable appetite this holiday season. In the meantime, I had better go and make that low cal recipe I’ve been meaning to try out. Oh hell, who am I fooling? I’m off to whip up whatever I can find in my pantry or freezer that doesn’t take more than a half hour to make. Yeah, that’s how I roll….muffin top and all.