Who Wants to Work for Maria?

What's the hottest topic on both twitter and reality shows? Assistants! We want them, we need them, we can't live without them, they are our best friends (when we don't want to wring their necks) and some of us really want to be them.

Many of the reality shows focused on celebrities (and I use that term loosely) include a subplot about their assistants. Kathy Griffin has Team Griffin consisting of three assistants. Margaret Cho has Selene Luna (although I suspect she might just play an assistant on TV) an assistant so loyal they made a mock sex tape together. Rachel Zoe has the squabbling Taylor and Brad. Poor child real estate seller, Madison, from Million Dollar Listing practically couldn't function when his assistant quit. Liza showed up cheery and yay-ing for her often rude boss, New York - I mean Tiffany - when New York went to Hollywood.

The ultimate in reality assistant shows is I Want to Work for Diddy. In his continuing quest to find assistants who apply by uploading clips to YouTube (Diddy announced one winning applicant on Oprah last year) Diddy turned it into a competition. Personally, after she compared herself to Martin Luther King, Jr. and Jesus, I'm rooting for Kim aka "Poprah" to win it all and give Diddy a run for his money in the ego department.

It's not just the D List who seek assistants. I see a steady stream of twitter peeps who bemoan their lack of assistance. In response to a tweet from @QueenofSpain about her renewed search for child care assistance, @AroundHarlem had a genius idea: nannys for adults.

I fantasize constantly about hiring an assistant. Just as soon as I work that whole cash flow thing out. Oh and time. I joke that I need an assistant to find me an assistant. Sigh. In my dream world I have a fabulous, brilliant assistant who would keep me current with what the kids are up to, who would share a cocktail and allow me to gaze after her maternally when she goes off to meet a blind date, and whom I could shower with life changing handbags. Yes I just described Carrie's assistant, Louise, from the Sex and the City movie.

Carrie and Louise are sweet together. Don't you think older women like to be sisterly wise friends to younger women? And often learn something from them in return? - from Kate K at Scandalicious Suburbia

And that's a big part of the reality of my assistant fantasy. Yes I need help getting work done and freeing up my time in order to continue growing my business. But, even if it is make-believe for "reality" TV or the movies, that idea of having someone who is not just an employee but part of your team - that's the real dream.

Off to set up a YouTube channel!

KellyT is also looking for an assistant and she thinks she'd make a good boss

GI Kate wonders if Henry Rollins needs an assistant

How about you? Having assistant fantasies? Have you hired one? Please share in the comments. I love knowing that I'm not alone and could use a good inspirational story.

BlogHer CE Maria Niles keeps a watch on celebrity assistants at her blog Beyond Help

Submitted by Maria Niles (view blog

) on Thu, 09/25/2008 - 8:43pm

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You got me excited

I read the headline and thought, "I want to work for Maria!" But alas and alack, you are neither hiring nor would I make a good personal assistant if you were. Lots of good thoughts in the post, though, so thank you for that.

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

Submitted by Suzanne Reisman on Fri, 09/26/2008 - 07:09

Top of my list, Suzanne

Trust me, you'll be top of my list of people to snap up once I figure out how to rule the world! And, the headline is just a play on the Diddy show because I don't ever want people to work for me, only with me.

Thank you for your comment and kind words :)

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Submitted by Maria Niles on Fri, 09/26/2008 - 09:26

How about this offer?

Suzanne can be your assistant. I'll just be your student. ;-)

Kim
BlogHer Contributing Editor|Professor Kim|

Submitted by Kim Pearson on Fri, 09/26/2008 - 12:59

Might be tough

Given that I'd spend all my time apprenticing myself at your feet, Professor Kim ;)

I'm flattered but maybe that's a great example of the perfect professional relationship - one where each believes they can learn from the other.

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Submitted by Maria Niles on Fri, 09/26/2008 - 14:17

I've been on both sides

I was an assistant who was often under-employed and stymied when I proved "smarter and more savvy" than my boss. I've had assistants who were organized, dedicatd and managed up, i.e., reminding me to do what I needed to do. I've had assistants who did want to work and hid work that they weren't doing.

I've had interns who are now in the position of hiring me for freelance work (two so far in the past 3 months)!

I've been fantasizing about being an assistant since I left my last full-time job of being a director of a non-profit program. I don't want the weight of directorship any more but it is hard to go back and pretend you do not know what you know and simply have to carry out the directives of others.

Plus - the reality show assistants that I've seen on Kimora's show and some of the others - kowtow so much I don't really trust them not to do something to eff-up on purpose. (I wrote about this months ago - "whiny-weepies."

I would just like to have enough money to parcel out the things I'd like to hand-off to someone. Is that too much to ask?

You're a nice person, Marie, and so for you - I hope you are able to assemble a team to do what you need to do to get your various jobs done and responsibilities handled.blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!

Submitted by Candelaria Silva on Fri, 09/26/2008 - 07:32

Full Circle

What a fascinating range of assistant experiences you've Candelaria.

You make a very good point that it is often the assistants who are the smartest, most knowledgeable folks in the room. And always be kind to the assistant. They can hold a great deal of power (as you note, when they manage up) and you never know when you'll see them on the other side of the equation.

And, I hear you. Sometimes the lure of being an assistant is strong. When you are smart and focused, it is easy to do the job well which is satisfying without, as you put it so well, the weight of the responsibility of being "the boss." But love the name "whiny-weepies" - the other side of the coin of competence is kind of frightening.

Thank you so much for your kind hope. I've had a few people come work with me at various workplaces and I'd love someday to have them be part of my very own dream team. And for you, I think what you ask for is not too much - it's a very reasonable request. I hope it is answered.

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Submitted by Maria Niles on Fri, 09/26/2008 - 09:37

Count on me as part of that dream team

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!

Submitted by Candelaria Silva on Fri, 09/26/2008 - 10:30

You're in!

Would love to have you on the dream team, Cadelaria :)

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Submitted by Maria Niles on Fri, 09/26/2008 - 14:14

I'm still looking for a nanny

sigh. and it's hell.

If mary poppins could just swoop in, that would be great.

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain

Submitted by Erin Kotecki Vest on Fri, 09/26/2008 - 14:05

It's still hard

Even with all the web 2.0 tools at our disposal to make these kind of searches easier - it still takes time to research, interview, find the person that has just the right vibe and to whom we connect.

Sending Mary Poppins vibes and good thoughts your way!

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Submitted by Maria Niles on Fri, 09/26/2008 - 14:13

Here I am

Yes I am an assistant and I love it. Not for anyone famous, just very busy and there really does seem to be a need and I can see why. Life is just so busy and since my kids are all gone, I have all this "mothering" left over, I may as well use it to my advantage. You are right though, you need an assistant to find you the perfect fit. I am still trying to find the right house keeper/cleaner for my people. Not an easy task. Good luck with your search.

Submitted by Luciee on Fri, 09/26/2008 - 15:18

Fascinating, Luciee

I have all this "mothering" left over, I may as well use it to my advantage.

So interesting. I think you've got something there with the idea of the mothering instinct coming into play. I'm glad you've found an outlet. Good luck in your house cleaner search.

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Submitted by Maria Niles on Fri, 09/26/2008 - 15:36

I'm SO applying for this job!

I'd be part of your team in a heart beat! You're even a do-able commute.

Debra
A Stitch In Time
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Submitted by debra roby on Sat, 09/27/2008 - 13:54

I need to get going

on building the space for the team to work in - so many awesome folks ready to be a part of it!

Thanks, Debra :)

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Submitted by Maria Niles on Sat, 09/27/2008 - 18:07

I just watched it!

I just watched S&TC last night and during all of the scenes with Carrie and St. Louise, I kept thinking the same thing. I need an assistant like that! Someone to keep things organized so that I can go off and be creative. You know what, though? I'd settle for a good babysitter once a month.

Submitted by Colormepink on Sun, 09/28/2008 - 11:14

Ditto

We all need a St. Louise but I'd be happy with even just a little help every once in a while until the dreamgirl shows up ;)

Thanks for sharing your comment and letting me know that I'm not the only one.

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Submitted by Maria Niles on Sun, 09/28/2008 - 11:41

No Way!

Yes, it would be terrific to have my own assistant who adored me, gave up her (almost always a "her," eh?) own ambition (and volition) for me, reflected all the glory on me, and did whatever I asked.

Just don't want to be that. For anyone. Ever again. Nor, I think, should anyone aspire (or be asked to be) an Assistant, unless there's VERY CLEARLY something in it FOR THEM, too. Employees aren't "mothers." Or "wives." (again? Notice all this female imagery of servitude and self-sacrifice here??)

I think we outlawed both slavery and indentured servitude some time ago.

"Team," Hurray. "~~Slave~~ Assistant" -- NAAAAAY!

Submitted by almostgotit on Mon, 09/29/2008 - 10:44

Excellent observations

What I purposefully did not bring up or link to is the multitude of women who say "I need a wife." And, yes, assistants are mostly women - though I will say it is heartening to see almost as many men on the reality shows as women. Apparently celebrity assistant-hood is gender neutral ;) But I do think there is a role for nurturing, parental, familial energy in a team model while agreeing that an employer should not seek a "mother" in an employee.

I'm fascinated, in part, by the Diddy show because of the parade of former assistants who run their own companies or have major senior management positions after working for Puff (as former assistant and head judge, Capricorn, calls him). Though indentured servitude is a good way to describe
the hazing process that requires you to sleep with an always charged blackberry and bottle of Heinz 57 ketchup so that you can be prepared to hop on a plane at 4 am and join your boss on a model stalking and kidnapping mission in Paris and attend to his ego fluffing needs.

Of the celebrity models, though, team Griffin is my favorite because they really appear to be a team.

Thanks so much for your thought provoking comments!

Submitted by Maria Niles on Mon, 09/29/2008 - 11:20