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The second thing that happened was that I read Emily White's book "Fast Girls: Teenage Tribes and the Myth of the Slut". This sent me on another trip down High School Memory lane, albeit a slightly darker one. In her book, White argues that the myth "School Slut" is something that exists almost universally in North American high schools. I'm sure you remember the "slut rumors" from your own high school. They usually sounded like this: "I heard she did the whole football team" or "Someone told me she 69'ed five different guys at one party". No one ever questioned whether the rumors were true. She'd been labeled a "Total Slut" so the rumors "HAD be true". Sound familiar?
White argues that the archetype of the slut is merely a symptom of our society's complicated and often twisted views of female sexuality. For teenagers, talking about "sluts" is a way of dealing with all the confusion, fear and curiosity that surrounds sex. The stories about "the slut" are told and re-told to the point that it no longer matters if they are true or not. The "slut" becomes an archetype. This is true for other labels dolled out in high school: FAG, LESBO, FREAK, NERD. These are all identities that are reproduced through gossip, rumors and bullying. By ostracizing a common designated "outsider", teens are able to form a shaky sense of belonging. High School is a mean place.
Did this happen at my school? Although my high school didn't have one particular girl who was "the school slut", there were several people who were "notorious" and "talked about". There was one girl who apparently "drank a whole bottle of tequila then threw up all over the computer lab". She was immediately labeled "A Total Alky". I wish this wasn't how I remembered her.
Here are a few things that I learned from my high school experience:
1. High School is full of "definining moments" or I should say, social land mines. Do anything remotely interesting and it has the potential to shape your entire social identity. Unless you are the school Quarter Back or Prom Queen material, usually these defining moments are somewhat tragic and embarrassing.
2. It doesn't even matter if you did this "thing" or not. What matters is how people talk about what you "did" (or didn't do).
3. You can become a Slut, Bitch or Freak with no explanation, for literally doing absolutely nothing.
So who was I in High School? I wasn't the School Slut or the School Drunk (in case you were wondering). However, I will tell you the story of my High School "land mine" moment:
It was the beginning of grade 9. Things were looking up for me. I no longer had braces, I'd traded my glasses for contacts, I was dressing better, I had boobs...I was starting to feel ..well, cute. I had a small group of girlfriends that I liked. I figured this was going to be MY YEAR. I was going to be popular, get a boyfriend and hopefully kiss Soccer Boy (my crush at the time who had an affinity for Adidas nylon jackets and shorts. Don't ask. The 90's were not pretty). The night
