Whoever said life is fair?

"Whoever said life is fair?".

Even now, sixteen years after losing my mom, I can hear her response to my favorite whine. That's not exactly true - the "losing my mom" part, not the whine or the response. I didn't really LOSE her - it's not as though she's a misplaced pen, car keys or a comb. I know exactly where she is (or where she was before dad moved her)...but I don't know how else to put it. In a world where we are free to talk about politics, sex and religion, death is the last taboo. Nobody ever dies - they "pass on" to an unknown place where they are "finally at peace" or "at rest". We can debate the existance of heaven and hell, religion and faith for days on end, but we won't "know" what happens until it's our turn to shuffle loose our mortal coil.

But I digress. I meant to talk about the fact that sometimes, life isn't fair.  I've been reminded of this fact several times in the past couple of months (more than several times, to be honest). Evidently I have a life lesson that I am Just Not Learning). I have reached a point in my life where loss is a constant. Loss of material goods (and yes, I know that stuff is just stuff, and that I can't take it with me), loss of health (not my own, say I, as I cross my fingers, knock wood and spit for luck), loss of life (again, not my own), loss of hope. The last one is mine. My husband lost his job several weeks ago, and it's been...a blessing, I suppose.

We are learning that time is as valuable a commodity as money. We are spending less and more. We spend less time doing things that cost money (less time watching tv, less time on the computer, less time spent in restaurants and at the mall) and more time doing things that matter (more time talking, more time laughing, more time playing). My husband and I are returning to the early days of our courtship, when time was all we had. I am rediscovering things about my husband that (after twenty six years together) I've long since forgotten or taken for granted. He makes me laugh. After all these years together, he can still take my breath away with a look, and he gives me hope...so I guess I haven't lost it after all.

 

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