To whom much is given, much is expected. Dear Queen of Spain, I Still Don't Get It...

Grace, I am not bowing out. I need a few days off. I will love to visit and re-visit this. For the next couple of days however, I need to tend to my son who is scheduled for an MRI on Monday. As much as I would like to, I simply will not have time for the next few days to actively participate in this discussion I apologize if my "peace, I'm out" comment led you to believe that I was bailing...antman is a popular guy at cre8Buzz and it is the way concludes his posts.

As I mentioned, more than once, I would love to support a breastfeeding campaign that was based in proven fact. That was how this thing started for me. I think that it is quite a leap to compare the Facebook Sucks campaign with women's suffrage, but this is the world of blogging and it is certainly your comparison to offer.

I support strong and amazing women, even angry women, certainly not all but the one's who speak to my sense of justice, compassion, education, tolerance and fairness. Me, I love the amazing efforts at momsrising.org. Additionally, I am a subscribed reader and fan of all of the above mentioned bloggers. Yes, I said reader and fan. I remain a reader and fan of Queen of Spain. I have the ability to disagree with someone while still appreciating and valuing them. I don't consider this personal, I consider this civil debate, opportunity for clarification and education (for me).

I also think it is more than okay to provide "fan based" feed back to a blogger when I think their message is confusing or inaccurate. I just don't quit on a blogger I respect. I comment.

I have to go take care of my son now. Have a nice rest of the weekend.

Erin
In order to change your life, you must first change your life. ExpectingExecutive ( http://blogspot.expectingexecutive.com )

I agree with Grace.

And personally, my voice, while usually on the gentle side of the spectrum, has been known to flip-flop (especially on my political blog). But that's what I like about blogging...if I want to have a rant, I have a rant...

"It's my blog, I can rant if I want to."

I sure wouldn't want anyone to pin a title on the "type" of blogger I am...I'm just me, and some days that's calm, and other days that's crazy. And I especially wouldn't want to be told what's "expected" of me as it pertains to my blogging. I don't think any of us should feel we need to change our style of blogging based on the popularity of our blog, that would be like asking us to change who we are.

I don't know about other bloggers, but I started blogging for myself, my blog is my voice...if it reaches one person or one hundred...I'm still doing it for me. The reader decides if they want to hear my voice, but they don't dictate it.

At BlogHer, as in life, our voices are diverse, and that is the wonderful thing about the BlogHer community...there is a place for everyone here. Like a family, our diversity will inevitably cause some disagreement...

To (partially) quote the great Forrest Gump..."BlogHer is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get".

Seriously, blogging has empowered women, and BlogHer has given us all a platform to showcase our empowerment. I for one, am thankful for that.

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
also at Women 4 Hope ( http://women4hope.wordpress.com/ ) and CatherineBlogs.com ( http://www.catherineblogs.com/ )

You are a woman in a free country with the freedom to speak and a connection that allows you to print basically whatever you want to on the Internet. That is an amazing privilege NOT shared by millions of women the world over - MILLIONS of women who cannot drive a car or go to school.

I don't think we're colliding over the "same principles" at all.

All of us participating here (ostensibly) have the same power, and the same freedom to speak. That is not what is being argued here...It was the "responsibility" to behave the same way in all venues for which one is contracted to write online, in order to reflect - what? - appropriately? comfortably? on those venues.

That is the act of policing speech, and that is not a principle that I agree with, or that BlogHer stands for.

Yes, I am a contributing editor here. I spoke up when they asked for people to speak up, and for whatever reason, I got a slot. That just means I got a slot - nothing more, nothing less. I am not better or worse than any other blogger due to that fact alone. It's just the way things worked out for me. And if you are censoring yourself or choosing not to participate for some reason related to a perceived hierarchy of the blogosphere, or of BlogHer itself, I would encourage you to think again, having never read a word you wrote. Why would they be welcoming and encouraging you to participate? Where is the heat?

Because, quite simply put, if I had viewed myself in the light of any blogger I admire, I'd probably never have posted anywhere. If I'd stopped to consider if I was as linguistically and culturally astute as Mimi Smartypants or as genuine and lyrical as Eden Kennedy or as all-around genius with words as Sarah Brown (queserasera.org)? Whatever. I'd have gone to ceramics class or something and been done with it.

I take my role here seriously, because I take everything I commit to seriously. If I thought even part of it was to silence other women, I'd consider quitting. I might not, because I enjoy writing that much. But I'd at least consider it.

Laurie
contributing editor, pets and family
LaurieWrites ( http://lauriewrites.typepad.com )

Not too long ago, prominent tech blogger Shelly Powers accused BlogHer that all we want here is...

...a tea party, a way to have elegant, tasteful discussions. Life is real, life is bloody, life is damn complicated, and above all, life is passionate.

Shelly made her remarks in a very heated exchange in the commentary of Ronni Bennett's post, The Supreme Court Abortion Decision ( http://www.blogher.com/node/18513 ). There were many voices in the fray, some speaking in moderate tones, some in anger. Thus, it was not, contrary to Shelly's accusation, a "tea party" by any means. It's certainly not a tea party when some of us put our bloody, painful experience on the line, myself included.

Despite Shelly's action in bowing out of the discussion, not unlike what you EE, did in this thread, the conversation between the angry and not-so-angry will carry on without you here at BlogHer. BlogHer is one of the few online venues where the so-called "shock jocks" mix it up with the softer voices along with everyone else in between. And, once the smoke clears, we all end up learning a great deal as well as supporting each other.

Further to this "shock jock" business, I say may we always have angry, passionate women. These are our outraged sisters and we owe it to them, indeed to ourselves, to hear what they have to say. If we did not heed the call to action from these outraged sisters, we would not have access to the voting booth, higher education and economic opportunities. We would not possess the freedom of reproductive choice. Abused women and children would not have refuge from their perpetrators. We would not have justice.

Finally, this is to the most excellent Suebob, my Davis sister - yo, girl, should our beloved Queen come down with a severe case of the calm, you get on over to Santa Cruz, land of many angry women (especially the militant vegans), pick me up and I'll share the driving to Valencia. We'll kick this "shock jock" thing back into that girlfriend so hard and so fast that she'll immediately jump on her keyboard and take on not only the vapid Bill Maher, but Ann "put-a-pie-in-her-face-NOW" Coulter. And, yup, that is a vow.

Grace Davis
Contributing Editor, Life/Elders
And longtime advocate of angry women.
Blogger at the oft-angry State of Grace ( http://gracedavis.typepad.com/ )

One of the reasons that I read blogs by Erin and other tough, smart women like her (Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored, Izzymom, Karen at Vodkarella) is that they DON'T write like they are being coached by a PR person. I get enough bland, combed-over pap in other forms of media - I can't abide it in blogs.

The thing about blogging is that most of us aren't trying to be mentors or figureheads. We are trying to live life and write about it as truthfully and authentically as we can. The more truthful you are, the more compelling it is.

I wouldn't know ANYTHING about what it is really like to be a parent (I am not one) unless I read blogs, because most people put a good face on it and bloggers don't. I have so much more love and respect for other humans since I started reading blogs, because I am hearing truths I never heard before.

If Erin (Q of S) ever changes her voice, ever tones down her opinions, I am hopping in my car and driving over to her castle to kick her ass. That is a vow.

Isn't it wonderful the way that mature, intellegent, and articulate women can colide over basically the same principles?

EE is brave and strong, smart and confident. She has faced the challenges of confronting opposition with aplomb! I admire her tremendously!

I am a lowly blogger in comparrison to the likes of any blogger at HuffPo, or any contributing editor for BlogHer. Is my voice less valid because of my lesser prominance? This is why I don't post on BlogHer anymore. I want to play with the big dogs, but I am too timid to take the heat. I just want to be me. I admire EKV, it takes a lot of guts to be so public.

We are all in this together!

Piper of Love
http://piperoflove.blogspot.com/

Thank you for noticing my link on the business page of ExpectingExecutive.com. For $39, I too will help you find a local babysitter.

I don't get paid to blog. It is a hobby.

I am a reader of yours. I don't expect rainbows, unicorns, peace or love. That's just not your style. I just expect a bit of restraint from promoting broadbrushed statements that may not be entirely accurate. But, as you so rightly pointed out, it is your reputation. End of story.

I have learned a lot, thank you.

Very good luck to all ouf you who have participated in this discussion.

I wish you the very best in your endeavours.

As Antman likes to say, "Peace, I'm Out."

Erin
In order to change your life, you must first change your life. ExpectingExecutive ( http://blogspot.expectingexecutive.com )

Erin,

I realize this may come as a huge shock to you, but I am well versed in public relations, celebrity status, media, and how to present yourself in a public arena. When I *need* to be or *chose* to be I can be as straight as the evening anchor on the nightly newscast. I understand the game. I know how its played and I have been on both sides. I am not some novice who suddenly was given a platform and is now has no clue on how to handle her status. Although I would love to show you my personal site's traffic stats and we can debate my *actual* status. LOL. My BlogHer ad's check can back that up (somewhere, someone at blogher ads gets what I'm saying and is laughing too)

Anyway, what I'm saying is this is the online version of me, crafted by me, and intentional on my part. I may be interjecting my own view here, but I think you are taking issue with how I go about making my points on Huffington Post and Queen of Spain and the tone I use. You seem to think this reflects badly on BlogHer and my roles here at BlogHer. I'm very sorry you feel that way, but my work here at BlogHer speaks for itself. End of story.

I would also like to maintain that my readers at Queen of Spain and HuffPo would be highly disappointed if I suddenly talked all rainbows and unicorns and peace and love. So I think your assumption of what my loyalty is to the readers who got me here is a bit off.

I am happy to continue this conversation, because this is a forum for discussion. However, I would like to point out that your assertion of blogging as a hobby at your site can be taken with a grain of salt as evidenced by this ( https://shop.expectingexecutive.com/displayProduct... ). So with that in mind, I'm happy to continue this discussion in email. queenofspainblog@yahoo.com

Oh, and if you take a look at last years conf. schedule there have been sessions on how to handle media, etc. BlogHer conference tend to not miss a beat!
Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain ( http://queenofspainblog.com/ )

Sara...thank you! I appreciate, respect and value you opinions. This conversation is excellent and exactly what I was hoping to discuss.

My daddy always said, be very careful with your name darlin'. To answer your question, yes, I do have different dialogue and conduct when I am interacting with my employer, employees, family and friends. However, I consider much of my personal conversations private and I don't post them for everyone on the internet to read. I am, and have always been, mindful of my character and reputation. In a bar, at work or at home, I place a very high standards on myself. I value my name. A lesson most parents try to provide their children.

I would like to make two points and a suggestion.

I do not consider myself much of a public figure, either in my daily life or in my on-line presence. I have some great readers and I have made some valuable i-community friends but I do not consider myself popular nor influential in the overall blogosphere scheme of things. Erin...and you too Sara, are in entirely different situations. You are wildly popular. I consider Erin to be a public figure in the blogosphere.

Fairly or unfairly, public figures are held to a higher standard both personally and professionally. Look at local public figures, your government public figures. Take a look at the standards we place on our celebrity public figures. If you go to a bar, as a public figure, your conduct and conversation at that bar most certainly might influence your day job reputation. Shoot, Larry Craig lost his job for toe tapping in an airport bathroom. An extreme example but an example nonetheless.

For whatever it is worth, I am not a professional blogger. I don't get paid for anything at anytime with my blogs. Blogging is not my business, it is my hobby. However, I do hold bloggers who are in the business of blogging to a higher standard than hobby bloggers. In my opinion, if you are professionally blogging, I, as a reader, am the client. Paid endorsements and advertising can provide substantial income for popular paid bloggers and with that in mind, content and pen name reputation certainly do matter.

As a public figurehead, it is my burning wish to see Erin take this amazing power and opportunity she has been given and use it wisely, judiciously and respect the many readers who helped get her there and will keep ultimately her there. She is in an "oh my goodness" enviable position to influence, educate and promote. So, I will say it again, to whom much is given much is expected. In a blog and in a bar.

I see a need, a huge need, for public relations coaching and mentoring to newly popular bloggers. Maybe that is a service that BlogHer may consider offering to it's members. Celebrity can be an overwhelming thing. Most celebrities and public figures have professionals helping them manage their celebrity. Are there celebrity blog public relations coaches out there? The closest I was find would be Penelope Trunk over at Brazen Careerist This is exactly what I wanted to discuss. My daddy always said, be very careful with your name darlin'. So, yes, SO, a do have a different dialogue with my employer, employees, family and friends. And, I consider most of my personal conversations private. However, I am and have always been mindful of my personal reputation. In a bar, at work or at home. I place a very high standard on myself regarding my reputation and character.

Two points I would like to make.

I do not consider myself much of a public figure, either in my daily life nor my on-line presence. I have some great readers and I have made some valuable friends but I do not consider myself popular nor influential in the overall blog scheme of things. Erin...and you too Sara, are in entirely different situations. You are wildly popular. I certainly consider Erin to be a public figure in the overall blogosphere.

Fairly or unfairly, public figures are held to a higher standard both personally and professionally. Look at your local public figures, your government public figures...shoot, take a look at the standards we place on our celebrity public figures. If you go to a bar, as a public figure, your conduct and conversation at a bar most certainly might influence your day job.

For whatever it is worth, I am not a professional blogger. I don't get paid for anything at anytime with my blogs. This is not my business, it is my hobby. I do hold bloggers who are in the business of blogging to a higher standard than hobby bloggers. In my opinion, if you are professionally blogging, I, as a reader, am the client. Paid endorsements and advertising can provide substantial income for popular paid bloggers and with that in mind, content and pen name reputation certainly do matter.

As a public figurehead, it is my burning wish to see Erin take this amazing power and opportunity she has been given and use it wisely, judiciously and with respect to the readers who helped get her there and will keep her there. She is in an "oh my goodness" enviable position to influence, educate and promote. So, I will say it again, to whom much is given much is expected. In a blog and in a bar.(

I think this would make an excellent topic at next year's BlogHer.This is exactly what I wanted to discuss. My daddy always said, be very careful with your name darlin'. So, yes, SO, a do have a different dialogue with my employer, employees, family and friends. And, I consider most of my personal conversations private. However, I am and have always been mindful of my personal reputation. In a bar, at work or at home. I place a very high standard on myself regarding my reputation and character.

Two points I would like to make.

I do not consider myself much of a public figure, either in my daily life nor my on-line presence. I have some great readers and I have made some valuable friends but I do not consider myself popular nor influential in the overall blog scheme of things. Erin...and you too Sara, are in entirely different situations. You are wildly popular. I certainly consider Erin to be a public figure in the overall blogosphere.

Fairly or unfairly, public figures are held to a higher standard both personally and professionally. Look at your local public figures, your government public figures...shoot, take a look at the standards we place on our celebrity public figures. If you go to a bar, as a public figure, your conduct and conversation at a bar most certainly might influence your day job.

For whatever it is worth, I am not a professional blogger. I don't get paid for anything at anytime with my blogs. This is not my business, it is my hobby. I do hold bloggers who are in the business of blogging to a higher standard than hobby bloggers. In my opinion, if you are professionally blogging, I, as a reader, am the client. Paid endorsements and advertising can provide substantial income for popular paid bloggers and with that in mind, content and pen name reputation certainly do matter.

As a public figurehead, it is my burning wish to see Erin take this amazing power and opportunity she has been given and use it wisely, judiciously and with respect to the readers who helped get her there and will keep her there. She is in an "oh my goodness" enviable position to influence, educate and promote. So, I will say it again, to whom much is given much is expected. In a blog and in a bar.

From this conversation, I see a huge opportunity (a need) for public relations mentoring and coaching for newly popular bloggers. Public figureheads and celebrities usually have PR managers working with them to assist in the often complicated management of celebrity. I think it this service would be a tremendous asset to the BlogHer community. The closest person I can think who is sort of providing this now would be Penelope Truck at Penelope Trunk ( http://blog.penelopetrunk.com ).

I also think that managing blog celebrity would be an excellent topic at next year's BlogHer .

Erin
ExpectingExecutive ( http://blogspot.expectingexecutive.com )

EE, are you exactly the same person at work, as you are at home? You are not more relaxed, more able to say what you think, less formal in your home as you are elsewhere? Are you a little different around your best girlfriends than you are your husband or your mom?

I don't understand why it is so odd to you? Would you act the same way around your future little ones as you would out drinking with your girlfriends on a Friday night? Should that be held against you, because you'd wear the hat of a mother one day, and a grown woman that night? Both are you, they are just different parts of you. Different situations allow you different forms of expression, and same goes with writing for different sites.

JMO as always.

I appreciate the feedback and the opinion. Truly. This has been most informative and eye opening to me.

Lisa, I extend to you and ask that you would consider and accept my apology for so rudely addressing you. I am very sorry and I regret doing so. Because I respect and appreciate the sometimes difficult nature of managing a blog based business, I was truly curious and interested in your thoughts. I appreciate, respect and value your time in addressing my rude question and the information you provided to me to understand "management's" perspective.

Erin-Queen of Spain. You have something pretty complicated going here. Woman, you wear your shock jock hat over at HuffPo and fight, fight, fight away. Go crazy. I maintain it is quite a compliment to you that your voice has been chosen by Arianna to be heard on her blog/ezine. There are many, many bloggers in the BlogHer community that would appreciate (give their eye-teeth) for the opportunity to promote their message in such a large and captive community as well as increase their personal blog readership. Confront on! As your rightly pointed out, what you choose to do with your voice is entirely your perogative and as a blogger, not journalist (again, my apologies) you owe nothing to no one. Rock on!

However, I cannot be the only person in the blogosphere that disagrees with you that your "hat" or "voice" over at Huffington Post should not be connected with your "voice", "beat" or "hat" (whatever) here at BlogHer. Like it or not, it will be. I just proved it.

From now on, I will associate "shock jock" with each and every post I read that has Erin Kotecki Vest-Queen of Spain in the byline (if we are using that journalistic venacular here in the blogosphere) . I did not create the universal shock jock association with your name(s), you did.

As your shock jock personality grows, as I assume it will, your resulting reputation will surely affect the lens through which readers will read and regard you as a BlogHer contributing editor. Be aware of that. Whether or not you care or appreciate this information, it is a fact that if you are going to blog in the same pen name in the blogosphere, posts made in your name will affect your posts universally (blogospherely?).

To whom much is given, much is expected. You have been given much. Ask any fellow blogger.

As Mata so rightly suggested in a different post, I will subscribe to her suggestion and repeat her advice she gave to readers regarding another inflammatory blogger and media personality: It matters to say "I am not part of what you believe." It makes a difference.

Thank you for this opportunity to understand a bit more about BlogHer, the opinions regarding blogging versus journalism and BlogHer's mission and vision.

Very good luck to you all as your continue to define, refine and peruse your personal and business missions respectively. I look forward to reading and expecting more.

Erin
ExpectingExecutive

( http://feeds.feedburner.com/ExpectingExecutiveBlog ) Subscribe to Expecting Executive Blog ( http://feeds.feedburner.com/ExpectingExecutiveBlog )

Furthermore, I'd like to add I'm no longer contributing for DotMoms, in case EE had any plans of posting there next.

I am no longer a journalist, and don't like being compared to one. I gave up that "hat" when I signed on to blog my opinions, feelings, and inner thoughts. When I was a traditional journalist I took that role very seriously, and I firmly renounce that title as a blogger. It's funny, because it was Lisa Stone who really had to explain and discuss with me the lines between blogging and journalism, between social media and reporting. It took me this many years to get where I am, voicing myself on my own site and Huffington Post, without a nagging feeling of traditional reporting, and boy am I thankful. Not all bloggers will renounce their title of "journalist" or tend to amend it to "citizen journalist" but I am not. I've been on the other side, and wholeheartedly disagree that what I am doing is journalism.

My "hat" for BlogHer is also very different than my "hat" for Huffington Post and Queen of Spain. BlogHer has never once asked me to tone down my voice elsewhere and has been nothing but supportive in my many "hats" online. It is why this community is so wonderful and empowering.

I suppose you might also be shocked to learn many blogher editors actually blog their opinions for and against the sponsors who run ads here on blogher. As well as conference sponsors and speakers.

This is a new era of mass media. I'm happy to embrace it and all it entails. I'm happy to let myself mouth off on Queen of Spain and Huffington Post and click over to BlogHer for my news round up.

Yes, I agree I have a very loud platform on Huffington Post, which is exactly why I am as "shocking" as I am. I don't find myself any more or less crass or loud as many of the male bloggers there. In fact, my entire pieces have been targeting Bill Maher, who is pretty good at dropping f'bombs and bullying others into his opinion himself.

Perhaps spending more time in the blogosphere might make you more comfortable with all the hats being worn and the new way of doing things. I know it did for me.

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain ( http://queenofspainblog.com/ )

Hi everyone,

This discussion touches on some of my favorite issues around social media, and while I've addressed a number of them before on BlogHer, I'm happy to discuss again.

BlogHer exists to create opportunities for women to gain additional exposure, community, education and (now with our publishing network ( http://blogherads.com ), economic empowerment. One of the services we provide to the community is this news hub at BlogHer.com, where 60 editors report on what's hot in 20+ topics. We ask that our editors and, indeed, all members of our community, abide by our community guidelines ( http://www.blogher.com/what-are-your-community-gui... ).

Each our editors has a special voice and expertise on their "beat", where every day they break news perspective -- and, occasionally, also break news -- about what women are doing, thinking, saying. Like any strong editorial board, we embrace diversity of opinion and voice to enhance our coverage here at BlogHer.com; we're working to build an editorial team that reflects the stunning, impressive and often shocking spectrum of what women think, say and do, online and off. Our goal is a breadth and depth that is missing in mainstream media coverage of women's opinions. The quality of writing on our site by editors ( http://www.blogher.com ) is superb -- as is, in my opinion, the blogging done by the majority of our members ( http://www.blogher.com/all-posts ).

Our editors are each writers in their own right, on their own blogs, much as I am. This allows us the freedom to write about things that fall outside our official BlogHer "beats." I, or rather we -- Elisa, Jory and I -- don't believe that linking to and associating with sites we don't like or voicing opinions we don't agree with on BlogHer or off of BlogHer is currently in and of itself a breach of our community guidelines and editor agreements. If, however, we learned that an editor created hate speech of any kind (on or off of BlogHer) it would be a different story. In my experience, writers often adopt different tones to get attention for their opinions, look at Maureen Dowd, Michelle Malkin, Arianna Huffington, Erma Bombeck, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, etc. Erin's is one example in this case and I think your own decision to move the discussion to BlogHer and use the phrase, "Lisa I dare you..." is another. That's a choice that the writer makes, one that I respect and enjoy myself.

Looks to me as though you and Erin are having a hearty civil disagreement on the topic of Facebook's breastfeeding policy over at The Huffington Post. More power to you both! There's a lot of wiggle room in the debate, which allows multiple interpretations of what she's saying about Facebook re: breastfeeding and pedophiles. Bottomline: Facebook is experiencing enormous growth and they are inconsistently applying their own guidelines across the community and taking their lumps as they do so. I think it's great for Facebook that people care enough about what happens on their network to complain when they feel it's unfair, or defend the organization when they feel other users are unfair in their complaints.

BlogHer's own policies are pretty clear, I think. And I'm happy to say that these community guidelines didn't happen by accident. I drafted them as a cornerstone for the kind of environment Elisa, Jory and I wanted to join online and offer to other people. Everyone who registers with BlogHer agrees to participate according to these guidelines -- including our esteemed editors.

Hope this helps.

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder ( http://www.blogher.com/member/lisa-stone )
Surfette ( http://surfette.typepad.com )

EE, one thing you have to remember when you reference blogging as 'credible journalism' is that at it's heart, blogging is all about the opinion and personal experience, where traditional media is the 5 W's. Some sources do better or worse at sticking to that, but in the end news networks will always be about the facts, and blogging as a news source picks up the slack in filling it out and making it human. One will never completely replace the other, they are more complementary than competitive.

I'm not sure how you would expect BlogHer editors to weigh in on social networking sites, since that's apple to oranges of what BlogHer.org is all about. BlogHer.org is about giving a forum to those voices and experiences, they will never be competitive with the large news networks.

Again, complimentary, not competitive.