Who's the boss?

I was friends with my boss. This is difficult for me to even say now because my first impression of her was that she was a bitch. I should have held onto that. I befriended the boss by her insistence and friendly invitations to events and parties. She introduced me to people to help my career. It was fun at times, but most of the time it felt like an obligation because she was the boss.  I found out the hard way that the reason we were friends was because she bullied me into being her friend. First she enticed me with her kindness but it was a one way street of friendship ---> directly to her ego, her problems, her issues. She put up a good front showing interest in my life but it was all about her.

I was very empathetic to her position but she made my life miserable putting pressure on me "because I was her friend" to help her with her projects. My work fell behind and I burned out. The boss then threw me under the bus several times over. It's been several years now and she is not my immediate supervisor anymore. I don't want to be her friend, although I know she wants to be mine. Our friendship was all about her and her ego and issues ---> nothing about me. I sacrificed myself to be her friend and get her acceptance as "the boss". She has found other staff members to support her ego now to replace me.

I can't be friends with people at work the way I used to. I found out who my true friends were on my fiery way down to burn out. Those are the people I trust. But work is not such a friendly place. I am congenial and  I get my work done but I keep it professional. Being in the nursing profession, it is quite common for nurses to share their feelings to the point of it being therapy. I can't do that anymore. If my life is overwhelming I'll get a therapist.. I hope I never that desparate in my life that I would bully someone into being my friend. I have been trying to balance myself again, to be the person I used to be. To be the boss of me.

Patty

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