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So many of us wonder why we aren't meeting "the one". Many of us even get angry about it. "She found someone. Why can't I?"..."Look at her. She uglier than me"...Okay...So that's not very nice, but you have to at least hear me a little bit on this. I had been completely alone for years and years. My constant complaint was that I "never met anyone good." Days have turned to months have turn to years. I have run into countless people with the same story. People have repeatedly set me up with "someone who would be perfect" for me. Of course, by "perfect" they mean "also single", or sometimes "single enough" and going through a divorce. Yuck! What was I going to do with someone who was only a little bit single? I loved to complain about it to people. Usually it wasn't the first thing out of my mouth, but it was definitely incorporated into a bitter, edgy response to the nagging mockery of the question, "So? Have you met anyone yet?" I'd spew back a well-crafted utterance that somehow encapsulated sarcasm, anger, resentment, and the amazing talent of making the person who had asked, very much wish they hadn't! So? Had I met anyone yet?...uh...duh! No! I was in my 30's and had spent the better part of my 20's in two back to back 4-year relationships. The second one was the one I blamed for all of my troubles. After all...he was sort of a load of crap right?...Well...yeah. Right! He was a load of crap. BUT- I had chosen to stay in that relationship for about 3 ½ years too long. He did make a great excuse for being single now though.
It was all his fault right?...Actually no. I'd spent years (7 to be exact) meeting the "wrong" type of guys and blaming the fact that the demographic was off for me. Now don't get me wrong. This is definitely not an easy demographic to be single in. As the dating pool shrinks and our friends start to have family responsibilities, it naturally leaves us with some lonely evenings. It becomes really easy to dwell in it. Put that in combination with the fact that the older and more independent a person becomes, the less willing she is to "settle", you have the recipe for "self-fulfilling loneliness prophecy pie!" If a guy so much as uttered even a small sentence that reminded me of something my ex would've said, I would dismiss him instantly. Once I realized that I likely wouldn't be able to pay a stranger in the ladies room $100 to go back to the table and pretend she was me while I climbed out the bathroom window...again...I made it a rule to always drive myself. It made for a cleaner getaway from an uncomfortable situation-especially since I didn't always wear sensible shoes. What can I say?...for a smart girl, I don't always come up with the most logical exit strategies. I don't like to hurt anyone's feelings... Whatever!...The question now was, what were the odds that everyone I met seemed to be exponentially worse than the one before? I had read all of the Law of Attraction books and it definitely worked for me where my career, school, and nearly everything around me was concerned. I could get a parking place in a busy lot. I could write a book in my sleep. I could walk into a convenience store and win a scratch off...but where dating was concerned I found that my scratch off was more along the lines of a "want to poke my eyes out!"
I decided to sit down and write it all out. I figured that maybe I could help other people with this and that possibly my lot in life was to facilitate other people's happiness. I had nieces, nephews, sisters and a brother who needed me on a daily basis. Maybe it was possible that they "get" and I "give?" I wrote a stream of consciousness book. I sat with my eyes closed and my fingers on the keyboard each night going over each element of my area of complaint until I would come up with a set of questions that needed to be answered. I'd get done with one chapter, answer the questions and then end up opening up more questions for myself. Oh no! It was putting all the blame on me. Darn! That can't be right? I had been looking to attract that guy
