Why are the ones you love hurt you so badly.......does karma really exist


Here is a story for you, i started dating when i was18 but i had a boyfriend at the age of sixteen. I had no idea what to do in a relationship i quickly learned by reading books and doing research. I thought i was in love with this boy but turned he was the only one i use to talk to, so therefore it wasn't love at all. I tried everything to be with him but it didn't work out because i had to sneak around behind my parents back and i did't like, I also lost my viginity to him at the end so I ended it because it was getting to be to physical. Then being the idiot that I am I went into another relationship and ended up cheating with the first boy. This did not end my second realtionship because the guy claimed that he fell in love with after i told him what i had done but i wasn't in love with him.

It was always a delight to be around him, he made me smile and give me whatever i wanted but the bad part is that he ws a lil too mature for me at the time and i thought that what he was saying was trash and didn't pay him no mind. We ended up breaking up after about eight months. In which he still stayed my friend but he also still wanted to be with me. During the course of our breakup i met my current boyfrend whom I had been eyeing for a while in my neighborhood. We met at a party when i say him and just pulled his jersey and he just came to me. He was amazing, i felt so comfortable with him at the beginning when we startes off as friends. After a couple weeks he decided that he wants to be with me, I was just waiting for the day. I met the love of my life the person i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Have a family and everything but then it had a dramatic chage in my life my parents, well actually my whole family spit up . I started to feel like i need him more, we started arguing and the same things  my ex-boyfriend use to tell me was appearing before me I was now starting to understand what he was saying when somebody else was doing it to me.

With current my boyfriend and we have broken up atleast five times in the past year and five months. It hurts me so bad its just breaking my heart. I think he is cheating on me but i have no solid proof. I think its karma that came around and bitting me in the ass. I have now been mixed up three other guys in conversation, it has never gotten any further but i dunno what to do. Should i leave him and be by myself for a while to stand on my own two feet or should i stay and take the hurt because i love and try to work out things, althought we have been trying to work things out for months now but nothing is getting better..............................


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