Why Barbie isn't Welcome in Our Home

There have been many debates about one of the World's most iconic toys, Barbie. However, I feel there is no stronger argument than the one I am about to make here. 
 
Barbie by Mike Mozart via CC 2.0
 
Sure, I could discuss the controversy of the latest Sports Illustrated cover or delve further into her unrealistic body and how it is harming the self esteem of young girls. I could even go into the anti-feminist culture she is perpetuating with her pink everything and girled up version of normal careers. I could even turn these arguments around and contend that Barbie's are aimed as "girl" toys. That can damaging to boys as well, who should be welcome to play with Barbie too. 
 
But alas, none of these points will matter after this:
 
 
This Barbie doll comes complete with her pooch Taffy, a pink heart embellished pooper scooper and freaking dog shit! Taffy even has karate chop like pooping action. When I first saw this commercial I had to check and make sure I didn't accidentally change the channel to SNL or something. I rewound it, watched it again, and then called my husband into the room to see for himself and confirm I wasn't hallucinating. I was not. I mean, in the word's of Mattel themselves, anything is possible, but really?
 
So let me break down why this Barbie isn't welcome in our house. 
  

I Need No More Poop In My Life

I have a two year old, three dogs, and a husband who luckily has his own bathroom. I am constantly dealing with poop between swishing a dirty cloth diaper in the toilet and hand-bagging a lawn sausage. I do not need to then deal with plastic poop. My poop quota is all full.
  

Poop Play is Generally Discouraged

Kids are impressionable and curious beings. I don't need my son thinking poop is a toy. I also don't need him thinking he can magically make the dogs dispense their own poop toys at his control. We just learned the "don't put your finger in the dog's butt" lesson, so let's not draw attention back to that area. 
 

My Dogs are Tortured Enough

Just living with a toddler is a hard enough on a pet. They are constantly chased, ridden, yelled at, and subjected to other tactics that seem straight out of a Gitmo prison. They do not need this toy to fuel my toddler's antics in any way.
  

I Just Cannot

Really. I could not handle this toy in my home. I have not done enough kegels to keep from wetting myself every time my child pulled out this Barbie play set. I cannot believe this toy made it past the Mattel big wigs and onto the shelves. I also can't believe it's not even on sale on Amazon. 
 
Speaking of which, if you still aren't on board with my arguments against Barbie Potty Training Taffy Barbie Doll and Pet {Amazon affiliate link} you can purchase it here from Amazon yourself or just look at the the hilarious product description. 
Poop Scopin' Barbie. Barbie Potty Training Taffy Barbie Doll and Pet
 
 

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