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Sparkle (0)
Can someone remind me why we have kids? Anyone? Jeez, sometimes it’s hard to remember. Yeah, they’re cute and all, and it’s sure nice to have someone help with chores (After a bit of bribery, trickery and cajolery- is that a word?); HOWEVER, it just kinda sucks when they’re 16 and a pain in the ***. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, would throw myself in front of a speeding truck for her, blah, blah, blah, but this sure is TOUGH. The thing is - I knew it would be. I survived one who graduated a couple of weeks ago, and I knew what was coming! That’s the funny part – it’s like child-birth. You KNOW it’s gonna hurt, but you don’t quite remember how much. Okay, so here was our conversation just moments ago. (Never write in the heat of the moment. You may regret it…) 16: Mom, can I go to Susie’s house? Me: No, you were just there last night. 16: Please? (very sweetly…) Me: No. 16: WHAT?????????YOU ARE SUCH A B****. (Not so sweetly.) Me: You’ll have to do better than that. 16: YOU ARE THE WORST MOTHER EVER! (At the tippy top of her lungs.) Me: You know I’ve heard that before. Try again. 16: UGH. YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!! (Door slams, and neighbor calls the cops, I’m sure.) Me: Bob, fix me a drink.
