Why Doesn't My Boyfriend Want To Be With Me 24/7!?!
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I’m in a bit of a pickle. I have been dating a divorced man for over a year and a half now and I love him dearly. But (there’s always a but, right?), he is still living his life like he did with his ex-wife where they were basically roommates and lived separate lives.
He is constantly scheduling things with other people even though I have told him that I would like to spend more time with him. I see him typically on average of 3 to 4 days per week for only an hour or two each “visit,” and that is simply not enough for me, but he’s suggested that it is enough for him. However, there are several things coming up within the next few months that should clear up his schedule.
Should I wait until then and make it clear (again) that I need to spend more time with him to feel connected and loved by him or should I just give up?
More Boyfriend, Please
Dear More Boyfriend Please,
Oh, honey. I’m so sorry you’re having this issue with your boyfriend, I really am. But, that said, I’m not your biggest fan right now. Not because answering your letter interrupted my nap schedule (which it did), but because as soon as I read your letter, this guy’s face popped into my head:
Credit: © Michael Germana/Globe Photos/ZUMAPRESS.com
Yeah, that’s right. That flat-ironed goofball is Greg Behrendt. And now it's going to be days before I get those man highlights out of my psyche. Ewwww.
Anyway, the reason I immediately thought of his mug was because he's the author, with Liz Tuccillo, of the book you obviously need to buy ASAP -- He's Just Not That Into You. (But whatever you do, don't watch the movie version of the book because, hello? Justin Long as a romantic lead? Dude's got the charisma of a drunk box turtle.)
Anyway, I'm no dating expert like Greg, but it seems to me that this boyfriend of yours has other things going on in his life that he considers more of a priority than you. And since he treated his ex-wife the same way, I'm guessing this isn't going to change any time soon. Plus he's even giving you the classic manipulator line of "things will change soon!" and if that's not a red flag, I don't know what is.
My advice is to just back off for a while and let him start to miss you. As you know, it doesn't feel good to be the needy one in a relationship. Maybe it's time he found that out for himself.
He's Just Not That Into You