Why Elvis Costello, Mindy Kaling, and Betty White just won't leave me be.

Ok, so to be honest, I’m still sort of glowing from the love I’ve received over at BlogHer, and because I’m me and don’t always live in the world of reality and stability, I started pretending last night that celebrities totally wanted to be my friend now. Especially Betty White. 

So of course I had to text Courtney about it to keep myself in check, but then remembered that she sometimes doesn’t always live where normal resides, either, and so then this conversation happened: 

Courtney: When they pay you to do a cross-country road trip and blog about it, can I go too?

Me: Like Oprah and Gayle? Um, duh! I still can’t believe they picked one of my posts. I hope Betty White reads it. Do you think she will? In my heart, she’s reading it right now.

Courtney: Oh, she’s SO reading it right now. What kind of ridiculous question is that? Crazy.

Me: Totally. I should never have doubted her imaginary devotion to me.

Courtney: How could you. It’s like you don’t know her at all in your heart.

 And it’s possible that after this conversation I started thinking about how everyone got Betty White to appear on Saturday Night Live via Facebook, and so that could also happen to me in the form of her discovering me on Facebook or Twitter. And then all of my dreams would be fulfilled.

But then I was reminded of a conversation I had earlier this week with another friend and started to wonder if perhaps living in your imaginary famous world all the time wasn’t the healthiest. 

Me: I just love Jeff. And I think CB loves Zoila, too, even though he totally won’t admit it.

Friend: Wait, are we still talking about a tv show or are these real people?

Me: Oh, the tv show.

Friend: Yeah, it was kind of hard to tell because I think sometimes you blur the line between tv people and people you actually know.

Me: Yeah, I’m not so sure that line actually exists in my mind.

Friend: That’s pretty clear.

And I was this close to reigning myself back in, you know, because I’m an adult who spends no waking moments thinking about what outfit I would wear if Mindy Kaling and I went clubbing after work one night. But THEN I totally got stalked by a celebrity this morning on my way to the office and all of my rational thinking and logic went right out the window (where it belongs).


I know, right? It’s like the universe was sending me a sign not to plant my feet firmly on the ground. 

Anyway, so Elvis Costello must’ve read the blog and wanted to meet me and “just so happened” to position himself right in my path this morning. And by “in my path” I mean that I’m pretty sure he dodged back and forth trying to avoid me trying to avoid him while I attempted to detangle my headphones. Instead, though, I ran directly into him. 

 Also, it’s possible that I yelled “You’re Elvis Costello!” at him as he tried to walk away.

Geez, way to be totally obvious, Elvis Costello. You could’ve just asked, I definitely would’ve given you a hug without getting you wrapped up in my headphone cords. 

Whatever, these celebrities can’t quit me. It’s a blessing and a curse. I mean, I deserve my privacy too, people! I’m just like everyone else. Except sometimes I don’t have pants on .


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