Why I Am Fine With My Son's Oedipus Complex... For Now At Least
By HollyLRust on February 27, 2013
The relationship between a mother and son is indescribable. I find myself getting emotional at the thought of losing my son one day to another woman. He is only two, and already comes home from school singing a song about some chick named Gabby. Every day when I ask him what he did at school he replies, “Built a house with Gabby.” Who is this girl, and why is she building a house with my son? What’s next, building a church to get married in? I hate her. Am I crazy? Presumably so.
They say a boy’s first love is his mom. No matter what your relationship is, good or bad, boys always love and want to protect their mothers. The minute I saw my son, it was love at first sight. My instant love for him far exceeded any other love I have ever felt. (Sorry husband, that love is different!) The fear I had was not how to parent, it was the jealousy I already felt. It made my heart hurt so much that I questioned whether or not I could handle the heartbreak that will inevitably be. One day he will choose some chick over me.
In preparation for this pending doomsday, I am getting all my hugs and kisses in while I can. He went through a stage where all he wanted was his ‘daddy’ and it broke my heart. I wanted to tell him, “Do you KNOW what I went through for you kid?” But of course, he could not comprehend the magnitude of that statement as a one year old. I read books and articles on how this was normal, so I tried not to let it bother me. My girlfriends would jokingly say, “I wish my son wanted his daddy, I can’t get this kid off of me.” I was jealous of them, but remained patient. I knew one day he would come around. That day is here, and for the last year we are inseparable when time allows.
<Your judgments can start now> I allow him to sleep in our bed, because as a working mother my time is limited. Even if he is sleeping, it is still time I get to spend with him. At night my husband blurts out, “Oedipus,” because my son and I cuddle and kiss a zillion times. He holds my face and loves Eskimo kisses. My husband is worried I am turning him into a pansy. Then I remind him how he is with his mom. I also question him, “Who would you save if you had to choose between me and your mom?” His answer proves my point. Let me make out with my son in peace!
I cringe at the thought that my days of making out with my son are limited to this age. Okay I am being a little dramatic (what’s new?). I obviously don’t "make out" with him… that much. However, one day he will be too old to cuddle and give Eskimo kisses. My place in his heart will be overshadowed by some ‘Gabby’ of the future. What if I don’t like this ‘Gabby’? What will I do then? Remake Monster In Law?
Dear ‘Gabby’ of the Future,
I advise you to stay clear of my son, for your sake.