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Married to a wonderful guy, raising our beautiful son whom we adopted from Guatemala in 2005 and his little sister whom we adopted from Ethiopia in...
 
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Own Your Beauty: Why I Chopped My Hair

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Own Your Beauty is a groundbreaking, year-long movement bringing women together to change the conversation about what beauty means. Our mission: to encourage and remind grown women that it is never too late to learn to love one's self and influence the lives of those around us - our mothers, friends, children, neighbors. We can shift our minds and hearts and change the path we follow in the pursuit of authentic beauty.

I've had the short 'do for a little over a month now and I'm still getting lots of compliments, which is fun. Most important, I really love it. Everyone asks me, 'What made you do it?' and my answer's sort of long-winded but essentially it comes down to this...

I'd like to try to be the truest version of myself.

And the truth is, I'm going gray.

I've actually been going gray since I was 23. I come from a long line of gray-haired beauties. Ladies who didn't just go gray early but embraced going gray early.


My grandmother raised three gray-haired girls (and two boys).


Her youngest daughter took going gray to an entirely new level. She was in her early 20s when she started rockin' a gray streak that would have put Stacy's to shame.


She boldly went where few brides have gone before.


Her gray hair even made it onto her wedding stationary. Heck, she created a website celebrating gray girls.


So I've got this long history of gray-haired girls in my family. But a year and a half ago I couldn't take it any more. All I saw was the gray when I looked in the mirror. So I dyed it for the first time before my sister's wedding.


And I didn't feel like me. The color wasn't right. So I tried different colors. I tried boxes. I tried professionals. I didn't want a new color though. I wanted my color. I wanted to look like me.

And the truth is that I have gray hair.

Somewhere, mixed up in all these shallow hair thoughts, there was also this little girl.


I kept coming back to the fact that I'm going to try my best to raise her to love her hair. Just. The. Way. It. Is.

And I kept thinking that perhaps I should start by showing her that I love mine. Just. The. Way. It. Is.


So I'm growing out all the random colors that have accumulated over the past year and a half. And I'm going gray. For real. It's going to take a little while for everything to look 100% normal, so I figured I'd chop my hair off to give the gray a bigger head start.

And the thing is, if I'm gonna go gray, I'm kind of digging the short hair. It's super easy to style and it's makes me feel sort of care-free. The going gray part is going to mean that I can kiss boxes and/or expensive hair appointments good-bye. I won't have to watch my roots grow out. But the best part is that I'm feeling a little bit more like me every day.

Read more about Own Your Beauty or add your name to our statement of belief now.


Rachel from

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bibliophile21 5 pts

I personally had the opposite reaction when I dyed my hair- like it was *finally* the real me. It is annoyingly high mainatance though. But I LOVE your short do, and your reasoning behind it (involving your daughter) is just beautiful<3 I'm kind of in this whole self-discovery/life affirming stage and once I get myself to the ideal size & maintain a healthy lifestyle I'm going to go short as well!

That Girl At The Party 5 pts

Oh please find a Black girlfriend who can help you get real about your adorable little one's hair! Hair is a very different issue for women of color so claiming that you are gonna have this lil' one just love her hair "just. the way. it is.", while noble is shortsighted and not realistic.

Unfortunately, unlike our White sisters, for many Black women hair is a political issue with our careers and dating potential linked to it. How many successful Black women have natural hair other than Whoppi Goldberg, who is only marginally successful in comparison to say an Oprah Winfrey, who has always ha weaves and relaxers. (Sure folks may comment and name a handful of others like Susan Taylor of Essence but it ain't many!)

In the meantime, check out the Morrocanoil, Yes to Carrots and Miss Jesse's Buttercream as well as my fav, Phyto Relaxing Balm for her hair.

Maegan Tintari 7 pts

awe, that's really sweet. And the thank you for the knives note from your mom complete with drawing at the bottom is PRICELESS.

...love Maegan
www.lovemaegan.com ( http://www.lovemaegan.com )

Southerngirl 5 pts

I loved this. I have had a love hate relationship with my hair for years then one day I did what I wanted to do seem like forever.... Cut it all off. I wore a short fro for about a year and now I have the healthiest locks and love love love them. They are soo much more me than anything I have done to my hair since childhood Saturdays in the kitchen getting it straightened for church.

BTW, That pic of you and your little girl is waay too cute. Its amazing that such little people can have such an impact on your entire life.

Michelle

I blog at http://www.mommycan.blogspot.com/

Grace@Haven 5 pts

Thank you so much for posting on this. :)

My family grays early. For financial reasons, I can't commit to the cost of coloring it. I also really don't want to do the coloring chemicals every month.

But the best reason is what you hit on with your daughter---loving what we look like. Embracing what is. For me, right now, that means learning to love a whole bunch of grays. Owning each one, and the experiences that have brought me to this part of life.

Thanks again for your post. :)

TelecommutingMom 5 pts

Good for you, I hope when my time comes to go gray I will embrace it like you.

Alaina http://www.telecommutingmommies.com

JennFox 5 pts

Would you constantly have to dye your hair as soon as the roots start showing? Like you're trying to hide something - your age. I suppose it's a commitment.

trigirl13 5 pts

I tried to embrace the grey. I really did. My grandmother has gorgeous white hair. In her 20s she had jet black hair with one shock of white. My mother has embraced the grey and has a head of smooth salt and pepper.
Me? I have curly hair, which means my white hair is super frizzy. I chopped my hair a little over a year ago and cut out all the colour. I had been doing professional and box colour since my early 20s. I was ready to just grow it all out and go natural. And then I started seeing all the new white hairs...I finally caved a couple of months ago and had my hairdresser put in some red highlights. But those white hairs keep popping up. I need to embrace them but I'm just not there yet.

-julie

http://tri-ingtobeathletic.blogspot.com

rayvingraychel 5 pts

I chopped my hair off, and it was soooo liberating! Now I'm all about the short hair. And with dyes, I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable. Love your hair your color or love it a different color. It's fun to play around with your hair!

Read Rachel's Tel Avivian rambles, raves ( http://therayve.blogspot.com ) and rave reviews at: http://therayve.blogspot.com

midnightbliss 5 pts

though i am not ready to have a gray hair, i love seeing a few strands a have a few strands, i think it kinda adds character to my hair.

texasebeth 6 pts

Beautiful! My family also grays early but it is not the pretty white/silver gray your family has. It's sorta a dirty gray color. Thankfully my gray had been blending into the blonde up until the past year or so. I have recently also settled on a shorter haircut that I love.

I haven't died my hair except for once; my sister-in-laws talked me into it and did it at home. I didn't like it. So now I'm doing a demi-color wash (professionally)that is helping the gray blend and look better as it is growing out.

You have a beautiful little girl there too!

Elizabeth

@texasebeth ( http://twitter.com/texasebeth )  and My Life, such as it is.... ( http://texasebeth.blogspot.com )

JennaHatfield 18 pts

I love this post for a zillion different reasons. Though I'm jealous that your family members, as photographed, seem to have that beautiful shiny actual silver-gray hair. My family? White. No shiny. Wiry. Grr. We're also all early gray-ers. I got my first at 18. My grandma was gray in her early 30's. Sigh. She actually dyes hers silver -- no, really. She hates the cotton ball tuft that she has, so she does the gray rinse in.

I'm not ready for gray yet. I'm just not. Though maybe, if I let it go, people would quit making insensitive, public remarks about my age. ...maybe!

The last two photos? Are love. Your little one is quite lucky to have such a cool mom.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and photographer.

TheSweetest 5 pts

Precious little girl! And I love that you re going gray. I think gray can be uber-stylish- especially with your hip new haircut!

elizabethinthisworld 5 pts

Like Jon Stewart, I am going gray, too, and I am ok with it. I am interested to see what it looks like and how it affects my overall coloring. I will miss my dark-chocolate brown hair, which I have never dyed or permed; but, life is change, big and small.