Why I Don't Care About Valentine's Day

Well, it’s February again. And if I had been watching television recently, or looking to solve my life’s problems on iVillage, I’d probably feel completely smothered in a satin-red sea of stuffy, hokey Valentine’s Day gifts and promotions. But I actually don’t. I’ve hardly noticed anything. I think I have (finally) successfully learned how to block out all of the commercial aspects of this holiday.

Actually, that’s decisively untrue in one particular case. No matter how much I wish it wasn’t. I still find myself baffled, frustrated and confused by how thoroughly our own perspectives on love have been saturated by commercialization.

According to a recent BusinessWeek article which surveyed thousands of men and women who earn between $30K and $60K a year, 70% of said women identified themselves as persons who were interested as marrying for money. And, 50% of the men were pretty much OK with being married for money. How heart-warming!

How can one not be skeptical of a holiday which essentially appropriates ‘love’ in such an ironically specific way: as a universal, nearly generic term, which is treated in a way that collapses the difference between the love of two fourteen year-olds and two 89 year-olds? And when I communicate this sentiment to someone, does it mean the same thing as it did in the advertisement I recently watched which informed me that “Cars Love Shell Gasoline”?

And, since we’re essentially discussing love from an internet-based standpoint anyways, I should probably also mention that 52% of respondents to the BusinessWeek survey admitted that they had been dumped via email at least once.

Believe it or not, my point is actually not a cynical, negative one. I do believe in love, but I believe that it is something unique, and singular – not something that is meant to be easy, or comfortable, or agreeable. Certainly not something you can either afford or not afford. In my opinion, the more libido-killing, soul-sickening gifts you purchase, the less likely you are to experience something truly meaningful.

And that’s why I’m not going to tell you what to do this Valentine’s Day. If you really love somebody, prove it by doing something entirely unique. That’s probably the best way to prove that you are worth being loved, too.

Yes, I do have a significant other. Yes, I do occasionally find myself participating in love song sing-alongs, holiday gift exchanges, and cheesy movies sessions. But that doesn’t mean I have to identify with it. Quite the opposite.

Kylie Stone, WomenCo.