This is why I sing

Therefore I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations; I will sing praises to your name. 2 Samuel 22:50 NIV

This is my ministry.  This is the thing I give of myself so others can get closer to God.  This is the place God has asked me to serve. This is the place I feel closest to Him.

This is also the place I try the hardest. God doesn't ever make it easy. It's into this world I was thrust; among some of the most talented people I have ever met. Little untrained me. I had to overcome the anxiety about not feeling worthy to be on that stage with these artists.

It would take years for me to feel I deserved to walk among the rest of the team.

In truth, what I really had to overcome was buying into the lie Satan kept trying to get me to believe - that I was simply not good enough.

What Satan did not know was that God would reveal to me that I was a perfect fit for the path He planned for me, and that if I would trust Him, I would be right where He wanted me.

See, I struggle, like most of you, every day. My marriage is a wreck at times. My kids are a wreck at times. There are days I doubt and days I fight to be loosened from His grip because it's just too hard. There are days I feel like I don't deserve to be here, serving in this way, and other days I know there is no other place I belong.


People know my story because I choose to be transparent. I choose to allow others to see me as I am and to see my walk with God. They know I'm a walking train-wreck. It is through these constant battles that I force myself to walk up the two steps to the platform. My prayer every time I take those two steps is this, "God, sing through me."  I believe my purpose on the team is so that one person would see that, with all my baggage, I can still lift my voice and my hands and praise God for it all. If I can do it - anyone can.

No, I don't sing so people can hear my voice.

Ever.

Do I love to sing? Yes. Singing brings me closer to the throne of God than anything else I can do. I praise, learn, cry, repent, beg and change through song. I also work {very} hard to be as good as I can be and as prepared as I can be.

But 'why' I sing has very little to do with singing. It has everything to do with the heart God gave me and the purpose he set upon it; for me to somehow help others get to the foot of the cross through song and praise.  God uses my messed-up, ordinary life to shine His glory on that stage so others can see the unimaginable grace and mercy that is offered through Jesus. This ministry isn't about the spotlight. If the spotlight shines on us and not Jesus, we've done a disservice to all. This ministry is about letting God use us as his instruments. Through song, we get to be a part of a body coming together into throne room of God.

What a privilege; what an honor.

It has nothing to do with singing. It never did.

Father God, thank you for this team of incredibly talented, selfless servants of your work. I pray that you bless them as they have blessed my life immeasurably. They, through you, have changed my life and here Father I will serve faithfully until you decide otherwise. God, always, I pray that one broken heart sees it's possible to praise you through their storm. Father stand with me each time I step up to the mic so they always always see you and never me.

\o/

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