Why I'll be Voting No on Parental Notification Proposition 4 in California.
by Liz RizzoI've been happily sexually active since I was 16. (Actually, I was more sexually active then than I am now, sadly enough, but that's another whole post.) Had I become pregnant before I turned 18 there would have been not one doubt in my mind about getting an abortion, and there would have been absolutely no way in the universe that I would have told my parents.
I would have been afraid that they would have made me have the baby, and even if that wasn't the case, once they know, they know. You can't exactly feel that one out. Better to do what you, the pregnant person, want to do and leave them out of it.
My opinion? Once nature's decided you can conceive, then nature has deigned you able to decide what to do about the pregnancy.
Now, I had a lot of advantages. I was smart enough to get an abortion even if I'd had to circumvent this law or that - and believe me, if I'd needed to, I would have done anything before I talked to my parents. I also could have gotten together the necessary funds. There would have been drama, and maybe the repercussions of disappearing for a few days, but I'm pretty sure I could have pulled it off.
Would I have chosen a risky abortion over telling my parents I was pregnant? You betcha!
And I'm grown up now, and I stand by that opinion to this day. Sometimes the risky choice is the right choice.
Meanwhile, I literally can not imagine what it would be like to be a teen without resources to travel or circumvent the laws, or a teen without as much education to understand how to manage the system, or even worse, a teen who's being molested and abused by a family member - and to then have the government get between me and my doctor and say that I have to tell my parents I'm pregnant! To not be able to trust your doctor to keep your medical information private! What a nightmare.
And those bypass provisions? They are the worst! If I'd gotten pregnant in high school, I would have wanted to get an abortion as promptly as possible - I can't imagine having to go defend my personal decisions to a judge, thereby ensuring a later abortion, if any. I mean, it's painfully absurd to consider that girls in some states have to do this. Somehow I suspect that you can't just tell some judges you'd like to have an abortion because you have no interest in having a child right now.
Which brings me to California's Prop 4, and yet another reason to vote NO NO NO on parental notification. Under the new provision, if the teen chooses to go to another adult, her parents would be automatically reported to authorities and investigated. Well, that's absurd. Consider my situation. Are they going to arrest parents for being the sorts to force their daughter to have an unwanted child?
You know, it actually gets harder and harder to write about these propositions because they make me so mad, and I can not believe that Californians are voting on this AGAIN. The simple truth is, if you are the sort of parent whose child comes to them with problems, your child will come to you. But not every young woman is that fortunate. The Campaign for Teen Safety has a great page about Prop 4, including links to the official Prop 4 Summary, as well as the No on 4 Ballot Argument.
I've had this uneasy feeling about this Prop for months now because all of Californian's attention seems so focused on Prop 8. And rightfully so, but I hope hope hope that if you care about a woman's right to make reproductive decisions with her doctor and who else she chooses, you will also remember to vote NO on Prop 4. It really is a disastrous proposition for young women in California, and I hope against hope that ALL of our current freedoms are intact on the day after election day.
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Linky goodness:
Vote! No on Prop 4 - Siel at Green LA Girl fumes over voting on this for the third time.
Podcast: Planned Parenthood's Cecile Richards spoke with Suzanne Reisman about reproductive rights - In case you missed it, a great podcast from BlogHer.
California's Prop 4 Jeopardizes the Doctor-Patient Relationship - from Carole Joffe and Dr. Eleanor Drey on RH Reality Check.
This is how bad it would be if Prop 4 passes - Don't miss these diagrams from Beautiful Day Rule. It's a nightmare.
Prop 4 - from Speaking Up, An Atheist Woman, she's infuriated, and in case you missed it, so am I.
Remember to Vote NO on Prop 4!
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Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.
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Comments
Great Post, Liz.
I've already voted No on this proposition. It was one of the easiest choices on the ballot.
Debra
A Stitch In Time
Weight for Deb
Thanks for the links, and you're right
I've been focusing so much of my energy on 2 and 8 I feel like 4 has been neglected.
And I'm so glad you wrote about this ridiculous provision that in order to assign another adult as the receiver of the notification, the girl will have to sign an affadavit sating her parents are repeatedly abusive. How is that not going to compound the problem, not solve it? I feel like that aprt is getting lost in the shuffle.
I gotta my No on 4 post today, and this post will be a great resource.
Elisa Camahort Page
BlogHer
elisa@blogher.com
My BlogHer profile truly shows you everything I do online...Check it out!!
Defeating Prop 4
I wish that I could vote on this, but I don't live in California. What's scary about Prop 4 is that the rich dude who repeatedly puts parental notification on the ballot will not stop until it passes. This is at least the third time Californians have had to vote on this, and he's doing a great job wearing out voters. The first time it was on the ballot, it was soundly defeated. The last time, it was barely defeated. It's incredibly scary that one rich guy can overrule the majority of Californians in his crazed insistence on interfering in the lives of young women and their families.
I don't have the stats on hand, but the vast majority of young women already inform a parent, guardian, or other responsible adult about their decision to have an abortion. And this law really can subvert the rights of young women to obtain a medical procedure that is their legal right. As you so aptly said, if nature decides you can get pregnant, you also get to decide how to handle it.
Thanks for writing about this. I think it is a critical issue.
Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants
not a Cali resident
So I don't get to vote on this. Of course if I were, there's no way I could vote No on that. There's a reason a child is considered a minor until they are 18.
Just because a 13 year old CAN get pregnant, doesn't mean that she is capable of making such a huge life changing decision.
Parents are legally responsible for their children until they are 18. If a school can't even administer Tylenol to your kid without parental consent, how is it even remotely ok to allow an abortion to be performed without it? What if something goes wrong? Who is held liable then? Are we going to turn around and hold a parent financially responsible for medical bills their child might accrue due to a procedure she was allowed to have without their consent?
There's a reason the law puts age limits on things. Driving, smoking, drinking, voting... How can someone who is deemed too young to vote, suddenly be responsible enough to make wise choices regarding abortion?
I respectfully disagree with you on this matter.
I think you can ask the flip side of those
questions, too
Pregnancy is not just an inconvenience for nine months; it can seriously impact a woman's emotional, mental, and physical health both in the short and long term. Does a parent have a right to force a girl to carry a pregnancy to term if she does not want to? (If so, why? Are children mere property? Can parents also deny a cancer-stricken teenager treatment for cancer if she wanted it? I see that as a comparable conflict of interest.) What happens if something goes wrong because her parents would not let her have an abortion? Who is held liable then?
I see your point on why the law puts limits on things like driving, smoking, and drinking, but at the same time, there's a strange double standard in saying that a minor is not responsible enough to decide whether she wants to carry a pregnancy to term but responsible enough to carry a pregnancy to term if her parents want her to. It's not easy being pregnant, and someone not responsible enough to drive probably isn't responsible enough to engage in all the proper activities needed for a healthy pregnancy. Definitely a catch-22.
Again, I point out that most young women do tell a parent, guardian, or other responsible adult if she is pregnant, and they work through the situation together. Whether we like it or not, we cannot legislate family communication and good relationships. The state should not interfere in family dynamics, which is exactly what parental notification asks it to do.
Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants
When abortion rights are limited, women die
When abortions become illegal, women still have them illegally, and they often pay with major health complications or with their lives.
If Prop 4 passes, the teens that hide pregnancies and abortions from their parents will still find a way to have an abortion, but instead of getting safe abortions they would go for self-inflicted or for illegally performed abortions. We all know exactly what this means.
---
Mommy Blogger Wannabe.
I manage my kids' activities at UpToUs.
In a perfect world...
In a perfect world, no one would even need abortions. In a perfect world, women would not be raped or molested by family and be forced to undergo abortions. In a perfect world, parents, all parents, would give a damn about their kids. We don't live in a perfect world. Laws limiting abortion that can hurt both woman and child doesn't help anyone. Should there be limits? Yes, but limiting your right to choose is not one of them. Getting four abortions shouldn't be acceptable either.
California Prop 4
Hello everyone and thanks for commenting!
Debra - I can't wait to mark my vote on this tomorrow.
Elisa - Seriously, it's hard to believe that they managed to make this prop *even worse* than it's been before. Sigh.
Suzanne - I feel you; when I read about horrible laws being voted on in other states, it's so frustrating. I can only hope that here in California those who go to the polls remember to vote no on this AGAIN.
Carrisa - Thank you for expressing your opinion. I was a youth who always knew my mind, and it didn't agree with my parent's opinions. We still don't agree on many things. Personally, I think that it is absurd that someone who can get pregnant can't choose to take aspirin, and I'm not a fan of laws about smoking or drinking either. I spent my entire childhood waiting to be free. And I do think that this is one instance where nature trumps whatever we think. Suzanne hit the other good points, I think. You just can't know what each individual's situation is, and what's best for them.
Vered - Seriously, it's horrible to consider, but definitely true that parents who can't navigate the system will resort to risky choices.
Kimberly - Not a perfect world by far, unfortunately. But hopefully getting better soon!
Liz Rizzo
I blog at Everyday Goddess.
Notification makes me crazy...
but consent sends me to da moon!
I know the arguments pro and con, and there are good arguments both ways. In the end, do I wish my daughters to do an end around to avoid me, or do I wish there be a safe place for them to turn?
OK, so one is 24 and does not give two shits about what I think (heh, exactly how I felt at that age) but the youngun is pushing 17 and I damn well care she has a place to turn if she somehow feels she cannot turn to us.
I like to think both of her parents would be there for her, and we would, though in different ways, because we process differently. We would love her and hug her and stand by her no matter the issue.
No, no notification. We really need to stop trying to regulate women's bodies.
nelle
/
llhaesa
It doesn't pay to be naive as a parent
Although you love to think that when your baby is born you will be the center of the universe for them, it is naive to think so.
Even if you communicate it is naive to think you and your child will have the same values, same opinions or the same views.
It is naive of others to think that as a parent you 'should' be the one to know everything about your child or be the one that the child should turn to, always and with every problem.
Why not ask the teen involved and let them choose.
Would no pregnant teen turn to their parents if they felt they could?
Couldn't a wonderful independent doctor or health professional who will approach this teen with no judgment not be a great safe resource to go to, when in doubt and confused and upset?
About whose welfare is this?
Where is the common sense in this?
Wilma Ham
www.wilmasblog.com
not again...
hahaha How come it's ALWAYS CALIFORNIA coming up with these retarded "props"? hahaha Every time you turn around, California's trying something stupid.
Of course you're right. If they force notification, girls will go to places where they don't HAVE to notify, which is either going to be an "underground" facility or out-of-state. Neither one's going to be a good option, and probably not safe either.
On top of that, I could understand if the kid was just going to pop out the next day. :D That would make sense to say "let the parents decide if they want to keep the kid". The problem is that it's not that physically, mentally or emotionally simple for a woman to carry and deliver a baby, so the whole concept doesn't make any sense.
When they can transplant the kid into the mother, THEN she should decide if her daughter should keep it or not. :)
~ Bill
I blog at billcammack.com
No to Prop 4!
Whew! We voted it down AGAIN!
Nelle - Definitely, the best situation is when a woman can turn to her family.
Wilma - Love your comment! I wish more people thought that way.
Bill - California makes it one degree to easy to get things on the ballot, I think. It's kinda scary.
Liz Rizzo
I blog at Everyday Goddess.