Why It Really Doesn't Matter If We Agree With Candace Bure On Biblical Submission

candace cameron buree, balancing it all, actress(photo credit: candacecameronbure.net)

It's not exactly new news that former Full House star and actress, Candace Cameron Bure' recently unintentionally stirred up a hornets nest of her own in her new book Balancing It all, in which in one chapter she writes of her beliefs and practices in regards to biblical submission in marriage.

 My husband is a natural-born leader. I quickly learned that I had to find a way of honoring his take-charge personality and not get frustrated about his desire to have the final decision on just about everything. I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work. – (excerpted from “Balancing It All”)

Me? I'm a nobody. And maybe Candace already had a clue, but even I could have fore-warned her that those kinds of words wouldn't fly with almost any woman today. Oh no, we are far too busy waving our woman power flags, making our boisterous voices heard as we march our way right on up to the top of the ladder in Hollywood, the workplace, society - and most definitely at home.

{whispering voice} "Pssst, but we'll just keep it our dirty little secret about what kind of shape our dysfunctional marriages are in, how disconnected we are from our children and how much more over-whelmed, unhappy and depressed we women are than any other time in history."

First of all, can we just talk about how embarrassing it is that the American culture is foolish enough to take marriage advice and then help spread it all over the internet from a Hollywood star like Tom Cruise, who's been married three times!? And then berate, nit pick and poke fun at one of the only women in Hollywood who's managed to stay successfully married to one man for seventeen years!?

For the life of me I don't understand why the community of believers doesn't stand with Candice on this issue? This isn't about picking sides, it's about standing for truth.

Here's the thing. Last time I checked, Candace has never kept it a secret that she is a very devout, practicing Christian. So why does it shock anyone when she makes reference to a real issue in her own life that is written about in the very book that is the basis upon which her faith stands?

When interviewed by the Huffington Post, Candace further explained the meaning behind her words:

The definition I'm using with the word 'submissive' is the biblical definition of that. So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength.

As far as I can tell, she didn't make reference to anything more than what it states here when it says:

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her..... Ephesians 5:22-25

I don't know, maybe I misunderstand the meaning to this passage. Despite the fact that I took the time to go back and read it in every text and version I could find, it could be that I'm just not educated enough to understand that this scripture doesn't actually mean what it says. Or that those were words written for that culture at that particular time but doesn't apply today. And the list of what's ifs could go on and on until no one knows what the heck to believe about anything.

Whether or not the media, feminists or liberals agree with Bure's views, is completely irrelevant to me. It would be a waste of good time and valuable air to have this discussion with the whole of the general population.

I don't see where she ever said that women are less than, beneath men or that she herself begrudgingly submits to a husband who lords over her. As far as I can tell, all she did was to state her belief in the Biblical view of submission. Which states these two things very clearly:

  1. Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as the church submits to Christ.
  2. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church.

Last time I checked, there is no kind of love that tops the love that Christ had/has for the church, in that He loved it more than Himself and laid His life down for it. My question is, why would we need to fight submission to that kind of love?

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Over the past twelve years of marriage I can honestly say that I've passionately tried to do marriage both ways. I am by old nature, a fiercely independent, girl-power, "I ain't gonna let NO MAN tell me what to do", she-woman man-hatter. Truly I was. My grandma will vouch for me as I used to make her promises that I would never ruin my life and get married.

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