Why my tummy is so rumbly

No, I'm not Pooh Bear.  But it feels like last week that I was standing in the back of Babies R Us amongst Pooh Bear bedding, picking out exactly what I wanted my first baby to rest his precious little head on.

And now his precious little head is about to be filled up with kindergarten knowledge.  And I'm crying now.  When did he get this big?  How has this happened?

I remember at one of my showers someone gave me an outfit that was for an 18 month old, and I thought, "This is HUGE!  He's NEVER going to fit into this."  But the day came... and went.

The other day we were out to lunch for Geric's birthday and there was a four day old little baby boy at the next table.  He was SO tiny.  The mom said he weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces, and I thought, that's bigger than my biggest baby.  Caden was my smallest at 6 pounds 13 ounces, but really?  Was he really ever that small?  Because now he's a real boy, and he's going to kindergarten!

So, obviously I'm a little sad at the realization that this milestone represents that my boy is no longer a baby.  But, I'm also realizing that my life will never be the same.

When you have toddlers, you have freedom.  I know, you're thinking, what the... is she talking about?  Listen.  If you want to put everyone in the car and go to the beach, or Disneyland, or wherever on a Tuesday morning, you can.  You don't have to rush back for anything.  You make your own schedule.

Not anymore.  Now we have to be out of the house at a certain time and Caden will be at school for a certain time when I have to go and pick him up at a certain time and then there's homework (which I hear is like the devil incarnate) and then he'll have to go to bed at a certain time so that he can wake up in the morning at a certain time.  See what I mean?  Goodbye freedom!   

I know, it's not all sad.  There are definitely some things that I'm looking forward to.  Things like Tuesdays and Thursdays when Jacob will be in school too and it will just be me and Elijah.  Last year, it was special to have that alone time with Jacob while Caden was at school.  I'm looking forward to seeing Jacob without his big brother around 24/7 and watching him find his own way doing different things.  I'm looking forward to Caden having more structure in his day, because I think he'll thrive from that.  I'm looking forward to seeing which friends his picks out (which also scares me at the same time) but trusting that he'll make good choices.  I'm looking forward to his interactions with other adults besides Mommy and Daddy, and learning to respect authority.  I'm looking forward to watching him grow academically and socially.  I'm looking forward to our discussions about what he's learning in school and watching him learn how to read and do math and be excited about learning.

It's just change... and unless it's my hair, I just don't do change well.

So, school starts today, and I'm going to try my darndest not to cry the whole way home like I did when I took him to his first day of preschool.

How did you handle your kids' first day of school?


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