Blog
Apophenia
Bio
danah boyd is a social scientist at Microsoft Research and a research associate at Harvard University's Berkman Center for Internet and Society. In h...
 
 
 
 

Most Popular

Why Parents Help Children

Violate Facebooks 13+ Rule

  • Share This Post
  • Pin It
  • 21
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

"At what age should I let my child join Facebook?" This is a question that countless parents have asked my collaborators and me. Often, it's followed by the following: "I know that 13 is the minimum age to join Facebook, but is it really so bad that my 12-year-old is on the site?"

While parents are struggling to determine what social media sites are appropriate for their children, government tries to help parents by regulating what data internet companies can collect about children without parental permission. Yet, as has been the case for the last decade, this often backfires. Many general-purpose communication platforms and social media sites restrict access to only those 13+ in response to a law meant to empower parents: the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA). This forces parents to make a difficult choice: help uphold the minimum age requirements and limit their children's access to services that let kids connect with family and friends OR help their children lie about their age to circumvent the age-based restrictions and eschew the protections that COPPA is meant to provide.

In order to understand how parents were approaching this dilemma, my collaborators -- Eszter Hargittai (Northwestern University), Jason Schultz (University of California, Berkeley), John Palfrey (Harvard University) -- and I decided to survey parents. In many ways, we were responding to a flurry of studies (e.g. Pew's) that revealed that millions of U.S. children have violated Facebook's Terms of Service and joined the site underage. These findings prompted outrage back in May as politicians blamed Facebook for failing to curb underage usage. Embedded in this furor was an assumption that by not strictly guarding its doors and keeping children out, Facebook was undermining parental authority and thumbing its nose at the law. Facebook responded by defending its practices -- and highlighting how it regularly ejects children from its site. More controversially, Facebook's founder Mark Zuckerberg openly questioned the value of COPPA in the first place.

While Facebook has often sparked anger over its cavalier attitudes towards user privacy, Zuckerberg's challenge with regard to COPPA has merit. It's imperative that we question the assumptions embedded in this policy. All too often, the public takes COPPA at face-value and politicians angle to build new laws based on it without examining its efficacy.

Eszter, Jason, John, and I decided to focus on one core question: Does COPPA actually empower parents? In order to do so, we surveyed parents about their household practices with respect to social media and their attitudes towards age restrictions online. We are proud to release our findings today, in a new paper published at First Monday called "Why parents help their children lie to Facebook about age: Unintended consequences of the 'Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act'." From a national sample of 1,007 U.S. parents who have children living with them between the ages of 10-14 conducted July 5-14, 2011, we found:

  • Although Facebook's minimum age is 13, parents of 13- and 14-year-olds report that, on average, their child joined Facebook at age 12.
  • Half (55%) of parents of 12-year-olds report their child has a Facebook account, and most (82%) of these parents knew when their child signed up. Most (76%) also assisted their 12-year old in creating the account.
  • A third (36%) of all parents surveyed reported that their child joined Facebook before the age of 13, and two-thirds of them (68%) helped their child create the account.
  • Half (53%) of parents surveyed think Facebook has a minimum age and a third (35%) of these parents think that this is a recommendation and not a requirement.
  • Most (78%) parents think it is acceptable for their child to violate minimum age restrictions on online services.

The status quo is not working if large numbers of parents are helping their children lie to get access to online services. Parents do appear to be having conversations with their children, as COPPA intended. Yet, what does it mean if they're doing so in order to violate the restrictions that COPPA engendered?

One reaction to our data might be that companies should not be allowed to restrict access to children on their sites. Unfortunately, getting the parental permission required by COPPA is technologically difficult, financially costly, and ethically problematic. Sites that target children take on this challenge, but often by excluding children whose parents lack resources to pay for the service, those who lack credit cards, and those who refuse to provide extra data about their children in order

  • 21
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
Thisgirlisgone 14 pts

I was very nervous about my kids using facebook at first...then I discovered they and their friends had moved on to Formspring and it's anonymous questions...ugh. Talk about a venue for cyber bullying... Then there's Lifestream which is automatic with AIM chat accounts on their computers. If you're not familiar with either of those sites check them out...chances are your kids know about them. My kids and their friends seem to know parents are watching POS - parent over shoulder - when they're on FB so they've found other ways to communicate. Parenting. Fun stuff.

It's not that I subscribe to violating terms of service with age requirements, I just strongly believe kids need to be taught (as they are teaching us;) how to play the social media game safely and respectfully and not hold ourselves to an arbitrary age. I mean, my 9 year old used to meet up with her friends on Club Penguin...Kids start very young these days even if we don't allow it at our home they can encounter opportunities elsewhere. Knowledge is power and safety at any age. Just my opinion.

lindsayblogs 8 pts

My children are only preschoolers now (3 & 5) but when they reach the age that they feel they want to be on Facebook or whatever social media platform is relevant at that time, it will be a discussion based on maturity and responsibility. I won't say unequivocally that I would never allow my children on Facebook before the age of 13, but they would have to show me some serious responsibility to prove that they could use it appropriately. Also, I would require all passwords and give them warning that I would regularly access their account to keep them from acting a fool.

Jane Byers Goodwin 10 pts

All the excuses, reasons, and rationalizations in the world do not negate the sad fact that if your child is under 13 and has a FB account and you know it, you are helping your child break a rule that was set up to protect. I really don't care how mature your child is, or if you're monitoring, etc, either. The rule says "13," and adults should not be assuring kids that it's okay to break the rules because it's "us." What's next - sneaking your mature 12-year-old into R-rated movies? Lying about your child's age so you can get discounts? Cheating on your taxes? Spouses? Taking your children to K-mart and showing them how to shoplift? One transgression is as bad as another. I am disillusioned by all the rationalizations.

Virginia DeBolt 13 pts

Neither of my children let their children (what a long way to say grandkids) on Facebook until they were 13, and only then with the caveat that they had to friend family members and the parents had password access to settings. However, they both were under pressure from the kids who were in a hurry to get into the "adult" secret world of Facebook. They did have school friends who were on Facebook before they were 13. They both use it pretty consistently now and rely on it to keep in touch.

jrsprik 5 pts

we didn't let our daughter open an account til she was "legal" to do so...why would we? you teach your kids not to lie and then you turn around and allow them to do so? that's smart. and don't tell me that's not lying people, IT IS! not that we never lie, but come on people...

we didn't really feel like she needed to be online before then anyway, now she mostly has one to stay in contact with family that doesn't live nearby and a handful of friends...although she does have more and more friends requesting to be be added now...some of which i think are questionable, but she is pretty level headed about who she accepts and who she doesn't.

i think parents who don't teach their kids moral values are just asking for problems, we aren't supposed to be our kids friends, people we are supposed to be their parents! and if we don't do our jobs, there will be consequences, big ones! people just don't even realize...

bonstewart 6 pts

my kids are still too young to particularly care, but it concerns me that the tone of our conversations about kids & social media always seem to hinge so profoundly on fear. even in THIS community, where most of us are more comfortable with social media than the average North American.i saw danah (@zephoria) speak last year in DC, and one of the key takeaways for me was that marginalized teens - and i'm paraphrasing, but i think she was speaking specifically of GLBT youth, in this case - are NOT using social media to find community and positive reflections of themselves on anywhere near the scale we might expect. because the "stranger danger" messages of the past ten years or so have been SO effective.i realize that there is danger and a whole world of crap to be found in getting kids on FB. i'm not blindly advocating it. but to me the point of this article is to say, is COPPA - however well-intentioned - the best way to deal with that world? instead of focusing on whether we should break the rules when kids are twelve, can we have the conversation about whether the rules make sense, and even protect what we WANT protected for our children?i research social media identity, as an educator. part of me wishes that we could work with FB accounts with younger kids, teaching them REAL media literacy and networking skills, and modelling for them in supported, supervised environments. instead, they turn 13 and get launched into FB with very little adult community presence in their networks, and...yeh, it can get nasty. whereas if we had our kids embedded in active, protective, multi-age communities earlier...would that make a difference?

we don't just turn them out in the schoolyard without supervision, because we all know the schoolyard is a place where power negotiations can get nasty. but giving the blocking and lack of scaffolding that occurs - at least in education - around FB and social media use seems almost like an equivalent. and COPPA unintentionally reinforces that.

jennyonthespot 6 pts

#1 - Someone said that someone said... Not everyone online is a child predator, but every child predator is online. That is a risk for even 16 year olds. Facebook labeling contacts as "friends" automatically introduces a level of connection... hitherhencetofore a false sense of trust - especially concerning the immature brain.

#2 - I don't my child's online presence to begin... foundation... to start as a lie. But we do sneak candy into the movie theater, so we do lie. Inconsistent, yes... but see #1.

#3 - Everything Mir Kamin wrote.

#4 - they have ALL THEIR LIVES fr crying out loud.

#5 - a friend of a friend's 8 year old son has (he's a year or 2 older now) an account. I made a video about FB and kids... so I checked him out. as part of my research. I was able to see out his bedroom window (via video) and saw a cute little convo between a young girl and him where he named the new school he was attending. Both are gone now (wish I screen capped that), but it was up for a time. Were I a child predator - people. Facebook is not a place to teach kids how to use social media. I think the price tag is far too high.

Lisse 11 pts

This is the first I've heard of a Facebook age limit, but my oldest is 10 and has not really shown any interest. I just recently discovered that many of his 5th grade peers have text-enabled cellphones. I am trying to hold off on a personal cell phone until 6th grade at the earliest (we have an extra phone # that we give him when he goes to a practice or other event we aren't with him for).

Mir Kamin 14 pts

Okay, so, warning: I'm a hardass. I know this.

My children have email, and are allowed (monitored, restricted) online access to age-appropriate sites. But when the but-why-can't-I-get-Facebook-all-my-friends-have-it argument came up, the answer was very simple: No. The rules say you have to be 13, and you're not going to start your online presence (which will likely haunt you the rest of your life) with a lie.

In fact, my oldest is now 13, and still doesn't have Facebook... thanks to some questionable decisions she made regarding how she conducted herself online when she was 12. It gave us the perfect avenue -- once all of that was said and done -- to say, "And this is why they don't want kids on Facebook too early. Because you do dumb things without thinking." And when she turned 13, we were able to say, "Yeah, not yet. Show us that you're ready." We will probably let her create an account next year, but she's stopped asking. Every now and then she even admits that when she hears the stories of the gossip, cliques, and other kid dumbness that happens on FB, she's glad to be able to say, "My parents won't let me."

Kids grow up plenty fast. Facebook isn't food or shelter, it's another place they can get into trouble. I hope we're teaching responsibility and rule-following. And when she does get Facebook, we'll have her password and monitor her account (within reason; I have her email password but I don't snoop unless she gives me cause), too. Our house, our rules.

What does it teach kids when you say, "Oh, yes, by all means, go ahead and lie, Terms of Service are optional!"??

JMHO, of course.

Denise 287 pts moderator

We did not allow our kids to open Facebook accounts until they were 13 (or older). It's important to teach our kids that if they're going to be good cyber-citizens, then they need to follow the rules laid down by the sites they want to participate in.

I don't necessarily think COPPA was the best legislation in the world and I do believe that there are many children who could benefit from online communities and internet information/tools that they can't "legally" gain access to.

It's a tough situation, for parents, for site owners and even more importantly -- for kids.

Denise

BlogHer.com Community Manager

Conversation from Twitter

unxpctdblessing
unxpctdblessing

blogher Thanks for sharing the post. mommakiss

techmama
techmama

(@emmawaverman-I told my son it is illegal b4 13!)RT @techmama: Why Parents Help Children Violate FB's 13+Rule blogher http://t.co/tN3FpTv6

ariherzog
ariherzog

eric_andersen The wow factor for me is when zephoria cites statistics that I wish I had found first.

Conversation from Facebook

Dawn Rouse
Dawn Rouse

My 13 year old is nearly the only kid in her class without one...but she still isn't going to have a FB acct.

Elizabeth J White
Elizabeth J White

My feelings are no. There are other ways for extended families, etc to keep in touch. Charlie is only 6 now but we are talking about Netiquette, internet safety, etc already. At 13 he can open an account if he wants to but I will know his password and have access to his account at all times.

Jenn Ster
Jenn Ster

i let my son create an account when he was 12 i think- the rule was (and still is) i get to know his password and can log onto his account at any time, and he HAS to be friends with me. he was obsessed with having one because all his friends did- he was crazy about it for about 1 week, and now he barely ever goes on it.

Lori Lyons
Lori Lyons

Maybe there could be a parental override of some kind. "Click here if you are a parent opening an account for your child." I believe in monitoring and teaching. Of course my child posted silly things at first. I saw them and told her to remove them and why. I am teaching her HOW to use the site as well as allowing her to have one. I have a friend with a teenage daughter and refuses to allow her to have one. But when she goes off to college and opens one, she'll be flying blind with no parental guidance whatsoever. We found it an easy and convenient way for my daughter's biological family to keep up with her, "see" her and contact her (with me looking over her shoulder, of course).

BlogHer
BlogHer

Lori Lyons do you think COPPA should go away and Facebook should open the site up to anyone? Were you concerned about violating the terms of service by allowing kids to join? - Denise

Lori Lyons
Lori Lyons

Sometimes there are compelling reasons. In our case, an older sibling living far away, a birth mother and a sister, and other relatives.

Suzanne Reardon-Mulhall
Suzanne Reardon-Mulhall

Based on some of the things that have happened to me with Facebook, I'm hesitant to allow my 15 and 12 year old to get on here anytime soon. The younger set may not understand the nuances of privacy concerns-heck, even as an adult, I cringe at the way Facebook arbitrarily changes privacy settings.