Why You Are Married

My response to Tracy McMillian's article "Why You're Not Married" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html :


You've always wanted to get married. It was inevitable you would settle down one day. But you haven't spent a great deal of time probing your brain on why you aren't yet married because you are so busy enjoying the daily gifts life has to offer, relishing in the fact that you are at this moment, young(ish), carefree, and possessing a body you will lust for after pumping out a kid or two.

Perhaps getting married one day is part of your future plans, yet you have some internal understanding that life is going to grant you with exactly the things you want in the right time for you to receive it; you are a Jesus lover utterly convinced that the Good Lord you've been spending all those years praying to cares if you ever make it down the aisle.

Maybe you don't spend too much time worrying about your wedding day because you have so many other passions in life to focus on. Or maybe you were raised by a single mom in Mississippi who swears life ain't so bad solo, prolonging your need to pony up to the first man who looks at you with doe eyes.

The problem is not you. You are doing exactly what you want to be doing and when you are ready, you will indeed find the will to commit.

So without further ado, let's look at the top eight reasons why women get married.

"Why You Are Married"

1. You're Broke

Welcome to America, we all are. And those who appearing not to be owe someone. Think life is going to be breezy just because you are a Mrs.? Becoming a Mrs. is not going to fix your problems. And if you settle down with someone who's also broke, hoping your shared income of nothing will make life easier, don't kid yourself, he will leave you the second he gets his big break.
*Don't be panicked by your student loans. 6% is relatively low in the scheme of borrowing.

2. You're Narcissistic

You hope to create a mini-me. I get it. People always tell you they love your dimples, that unique cleft on your chin, that jaw line that would make even the least superficial truck drivers wince with jealousy. You hope to pass down a few traits and win an award for the cutest Christmas Card. But lets face it: kids really only have 2-3 cute years. Babies are scary little aliens and there are a series of awkward phases from middle school to high school.

3. You Don't Believe in True Love

You said yes to whichever schmuck happened to ask the minute that internal clock started ticking.

4. You Can't Get a Job

So you chose to be a mom. That's sweet. And if anyone knows just how bad the job market is out there, it's me. Procreating isn't a bad call, but before doing so, here are some easy quick ways to make a dime: catering, temping, dog walking. These jobs won't fill you with pride, but they will get you a Metrocard and some birdfood to munch on while you figure things out.

5.You're Boring

You need help finding ways to entertain yourself. Go for a run, join a book club, and do whatever volunteer work you can get your hands on. I agree with Chris McCandless, happiness is only real when shared. But share an order of shrimp cocktail. Not his last name.

6. You Own 27 Dresses

Let's face it, 27 Dresses was not a hit because we all love Katie Heigel. Adorable of a little button as she was in My Father the Hero, after Izzy's sobfest followed by mean mouthing Jud Apatow, we were no longer smitten with this bottled blonde. Don't allow the bridesmaids dresses piling up in the closet to influence decision making.

7. Peer Pressure

Still influenced by what mommy thinks as an adult? Sure you are. We all are. Nothing would make her smile wider than the wet dream that she might be on her way to becoming a grandmother. This year, when I (jokingly) announced I had a bun in the oven just in time for holidays, rather than bothering with silly questions like "who's the daddy" or beating me over the head with a Bible, my own mother began brainstorming baby names for the "Christmas Miracle".

8. It Was Arranged

Lucky you! you don't have to spend an ounce of your time wondering if you've made the right choice; it's been made for you. Now all you have to do is make it work.

Forgive me if I sound jaded. Jaded I am not. Hopeful, I am. And a dreamer to boot. But to both to my joy and detriment, I have this uncanny feeling that one day my prince will come. In my storybook, he doesn't have to be tall, dark, and handsome (though I wouldn't kick him out of bed if he were), I just want to be able to recognize him when he arrives.
Hopefully, it will be on a pony.

Marriage: that I call the will of two to create the one who is more than those who created it.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche



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