{Wine, bleach and prayer} A taste of my crazy!

It wouldn't be a McPhail family pic if there weren't dirty faces involved!

I'm late for everything... E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!! I usually have too much going on and I'm always in a chaotic rush. The more I have to do, the more "crazy" mommy tends to surface.   I've just been in a funk for like over a month. It doesn't help that my "friend" my "aunt" my "visitor" has been her for over three weeks.... TMI??? Maybe... but I've been using it to justify why I have been a raving lunatic for far too long.

 

The truth is, I've been struggling for a while. The pressure of trying to get our business off of the ground while still being a "decent" (by decent I mean just meeting socially acceptable standards) mother and wife has been overwhelming to say the least... I don't know how many times Gena and I have texted or called each other melting down,  ready to pull a "Thelma and Louise" because we feel so stretched and know that we're not doing ANYTHING well.

 

What you get when you add wine and bleach

A couple of weeks ago over a bottle of wine and some hair bleach we had a pretty big rant session sobering conversation. I told her that I had been praying for wisdom (about the company mind you... not about the state of my family... how's that for priorities) and instantly a thought came into my head.... "None of it matters anyway." I thought it was weird and couldn't possible mean anything so I did what any super spiritual person would do and I ignored it. About a week later I prayed for wisdom again... a girl with no business degree who dropped out of community college can never have too much wisdom:) Anyway, the exact same thought popped into my head..."None of it matters anyway" At this point I was honestly a little angry... I started spouting off to God while driving down the road... I'm sure it was great entertainment for the cars next to me. I was like "Are you serious?? None of the matters?? Then what have I been doing with my time for the past nine months?? Is it all a waste?? It MATTERS... OH YES IT DOES!" {Just a side note: this is just a portion of the crazy that lives in my head.}

 

Anyway, as Gena and I enjoyed our quiet, kidless conversation and the rest of the bottle of wine we decided what that phrase really meant was that we needed to get our sh... uh... stuff together. We needed to make sure our marriages and kids are our priority over blog posts and weakly sales. I know that seems like a no brainer, but when you're in the thick of it... it's easy to justify putting our family on the back burner for the good of our Earth Monkeys community.  But what punched us in the face that night was that NONE of it matters anyway... IF ... we aren't being the women... wife... mothers... God has created us to be.

 

It's has to be a daily choice for me. I'll be honest, most days I don't want to choose being a referee and butt wiper over a meaningful conversation with a fellow EMM. Even now, as I type, my house is a disaster, the laundry's not done and my husband has no clean pants to wear to work... but instead of choosing to be a crabby witch... sighing and letting everyone know that I have too much on my plate (like I normally do...), I will click publish, go start a load of laundry and have a mini Wii Sports tourney with my boys. Ya, house cleaning still doesn't make the list... that will take a true act of God.  


While I will never have it ALL together and I will never do it ALL well, I want to make sure I am at least trying to do the important things well.  Even though spring break is KILLING me... I will choose to remember today that I chose to be a wife and a mother before I chose to be a mompreneur... and if nothing else I want my family to know that I choose them now.

 

{Is there any area of your life that... DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY... but has seemed to consume you on some level... Are you brave enough to be real about it?}

 

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