Woes of a Mother in Almost Tweenland
By Random Chick on February 28, 2012
It’s already starting to happen. I didn’t think it would affect me that much because I like to think I’m centered. Um, yeah. My daughter is on the verge of becoming a tween. That magical time when (girls especially) explore their identity by clinging ever-so-tightly to their friends’ likes, dislikes, and whims as the basis for who they want to be. It’s frightening.
This morning we had a disagreement about whether or not she should be paid allowance for chores she had to be reminded to do. I stood firmly in the fact that if I have to yell, scream, kick, and hold my breath to get her to do her chores then she doesn’t get paid. She vehementaly stated that it was unfair because she had no idea what day was trash day and demanded that I pay her. In the end, she did not get paid. So she completely ignored me when I dropped her off at school and ran to her group of friends for solice. After stopping by the office to drop something off, we passed in the hallway and I could have been some other lame adult that she took no notice of as I tried to get her attention to say good bye. Ignored again.
Sitting in my car, ready to drive off to work I would normally brush it off. Today, it bothered me because it felt like the beginning of a new trend. More and more my daughter places importance on what her friends say about her and what they think of her behavior. I know this is normal but I can’t help thinking that I’m losing her. Also, I can’t choose her friends but there are some girls I’d rather she just leave alone…as they have growing influence on my daughter’s actions. They aren’t “bad” girls but they do make unwise choices more than others. If I say something, my daugher is the type that will run toward those girls just because I mentioned that she might want to stay away from them. What can I do? I’m serious…anyone have any ideas PLEASE share them!!
Raising a confident, smart, individual, and happy daughter in today’s world is tough, and none of us has the right answers because there are way too many variables. I can’t even really rely on my own childhood as reference because things have changed so much since then. I know the one thing that will never change is my love for my daughter. There are so many unknown challenges ahead…and I fear that my heart will get broken so many times before she and I land in a place of compromise. Like this morning, when I felt a piece of my heart being torn away by her ignoring me.
Any of you moms of daughters out there have any insights to share? I would love to hear from you!!! If you’ve read this far, thanks for “listening” to me pour out my woes today.
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