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If it looks like a duck and it walks like a duck then the saying goes that it's probably a duck. But what do you do when trusted infertility organizations are duped by a wolf in a duck costume? Or a duck-wolf hybrid? Or...since this analogy is falling apart since there is nothing duck-like about sensationalism, what do you do when producers from the Tyra Banks Show deceive major infertility organizations and potential interviewees alike in an effort to elicit tears and boost ratings in our schadenfreude-like culture?
The American Fertility Association (AFA) and Resolve both sent out a call for interviewees for the Tyra Banks Show to members on their newsletter lists. The call closely mirrored in sensitivity the blurb posted on the show's website:
The producers of the Tyra Banks Show are looking for women and men in the New York City area to share their experiences coping with infertility on an upcoming show. They are interested in hearing from both couples and women and men individually on how you've dealt with the emotional ups and downs of infertility and found inspiration to keep trying.
Soon after the notice was sent out, bloggers found an additional call for interviewees on the Tyra Banks website pulling together a very different show:
Do you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom? Have you seen and heard her struggle for years, felt her unvoiced jealously and seen her desperation first hand? Have you watched silently for too long as she gets her hopes up only to be disappointed and heartbroken when she can’t conceive? Has she tried extreme methods and spent a lot of money to get pregnant with no luck? Do you want to finally tell her she needs to stop the emotional and physical stress on her body and seriously consider adoption or a surrogate alternative? If you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom and getting pregnant, then submit below.
It's still unclear whether or not these episodes were one and the same. The AFA and Resolve both followed up with producers of the Tyra Banks Show and sent out an apology to their members. The reality is that sensational television is just that--sensational. It is not there to present reality or even education. The Jerry Springers and Tyra Banks of this world aren't concerned with the emotions of their guests or getting word out to the public about serious issues. They fill the same niche as tabloids and gossip websites.
Even knowing this wolf, bloggers still had a very emotional reaction to this incident. Gabrielle at Fertility Notes had an impassioned post titled "Screw You, Tyra" where she encouraged viewers to vote with their remote control and not tune in for this episode of Tyra.
Thing is, I was actually going to post this casting call here when I saw it on Resolve's site. But then I remembered a scenario from college, in which several feminist leaders on campus were invited to talk on another talk show - free trip to NYC, all expenses paid, a forum for your most important issues, right? Only to find that they had been totally set up. The episode was not about strong young women, it was meant to attack the idea of the “militant feminist,” this most unfeminine of females, ones that are actually willing to stand up for injustice and bullshit. This, dear Tyra, is bullshit. And for some reason, I sensed malicious intent from the get go.
Becky at Are We There Yet? wasn't surprised by the show's actions, but still lamented the way humans treat one another.
Am I shocked? No. This is just another show looking for ratings, but it appalls me. Perhaps we are forgetting that infertility is a personal and painful medical condition. How each person (male or female) decides to deal with it is up to them and their medical professional. I would never presume to tell a cancer patient what method of treatment they should pursue. I would also never tell them when it is time to call it quits. While death may not be an outcome of infertility, there is definite fallout from its effects.
Ariana at Becoming Mom echoed similar thoughts, wondering why thoughtful doesn't sell, but trashy does.
What a nice and compassionate way of describing the 1 in 6 women/couples struggling with infertility. Desperate, Obsessed, Jealous. The decision to move on
