Blog
PrismWork
Bio
"I was a late bloomer. But anyone who blooms at all, ever, is very lucky." - Sharon Olds I, too, am a late bloomer. Late to writing, late t...
 
 
 
 

Most Popular

The Womb Police

  • Share This Post
  • Pin It
  • 28
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, I had the honor of toasting one of my closest friends at her wedding. I stood, wine glass in hand, extolling the great gifts of a well-met marriage rubbing my expanding belly for emphasis. After I sat down, one of the men at our table took away my wine glass and said, “I know you know your baby doesn’t need this.”

Now, it should be noted, I hadn’t taken a sip from the glass, but that was not the point. This guy was just another in a long line of well-meaning men (and the occasional woman) who felt compelled to tell me what to eat, drink, and generally do while I was pregnant. Funny thing is, my doctor had actually advised me (off the record) to have the occasional glass of red wine.

You see, I have a malformed uterus. My condition holds a real risk to the fetus of preterm delivery. When other pregnant women begin having Braxton-Hicks contractions -- a perfectly normal means for the uterus to prepare for delivery -- I begin going into early labor. In my previous pregnancies, I had tried using terbutaline, but it made me jittery, and my doctor and I agreed we would only use it as a last ditch effort. As the contractions were still very mild and rare at this stage in my pregnancy, my doctor suggested that red wine could help ease my condition. In short, I was on doctor’s orders to imbibe when necessary.

A woman’s decisions regarding her own health during pregnancy are already fraught with anxiety. We want what is best for our growing fetus all the while needing to balance out what is best for us. As Julia Moskin wrote in her essay on drinking during pregnancy, “our responsibility for minimizing risk through perfect behavior feels vast.” In the end, we must come to peace with the reality that these choices are weighed between the demands of the present and the future consequences we can live with.

We are bombarded with frightening information on the risks of our decisions. We are told that if we eat soft cheese, sushi, deli meats, if we drink alcohol or unpasteurized fruit juices, if we dye our hair or get a pedicure, our child’s future will be compromised by low IQ, behavioral problems, and late-in-life heart disease, diabetes and so on. As Dr. Jerome Groopman recently wrote in his review of Anne Paul Murphy’s new book Origins, "the food the mother eats, the air she breathes, the water she drinks, the stress or trauma she experiences — all may affect her child, for better or worse, over the decades to come.”

All of this is grist for maternal guilt and fuel for the womb police. For years, they have been focusing their efforts on whether women can choose to keep or terminate a pregnancy. Fetal rights have been used in numerous legal cases as a tool for the anti-choice movement. However, these efforts have not stood up in court. In 2001, the Supreme Court ruled in Ferguson vs. The City of Charleston that “the government of this country should not be permitted to police its pregnant citizens through their umbilical cord.” The unveiling (and controversial) research linking all manner of societal ills to gestation is giving new impetus to the fetal rights movement and a new opportunity to control women’s bodies.

Even well-meaning liberals are getting on the band wagon. In the New York Times this past weekend, Nicholas Kristof wrote that “early childhood education may be a bit late as a way to break the cycles of poverty.” He went on to quote Anne Murphy Paul who said, “given the odds stacked against poor women and their fetuses, the most effective antipoverty program might be one that starts before birth." Dr. Darshak Sanghavi, a pediatric cardiologist, disagrees. He argues that “pinning complex public-health problems, like childhood obesity (or poverty), on failed gestation has a blame-the-victim undercurrent." The research itself is not always reliable. In an oft quoted Swedish study linking behavior problems to moderate alcohol consumption, you’ll discover that “despite that fact that four of the eight studies did not indicate a link between alcohol consumption while pregnant and behavioral problems the institute maintains that the evidence is sufficient to support

  • 28
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
At Home Parent 5 pts

I think you wrote a timely, informative, and provocative piece here, Lisen. Nice!

The Womb Police are everywhere. I was honest on my medical intake form and said I'd (recreationally) smoked marijuana 1-2 times and had 1-3 beers in the 4 weeks before obtaining a positive pregnancy test.

The medical staff made me talk to a social worker who assessed me for a "high risk" status - even though I also reported having NOTHING, not even caffeine, once discovering I was pregnant.

(BTW, the same medical staff also encouraged me to wean my toddler before I got pregnant again - "We worry about an increased risk of miscarriage when a pregnant woman continues to nurse," even though I've never had a miscarriage and had a completely normal pregnancy. But that's another story.)

Jory Des Jardins 8 pts

...when I was still pregnant. The information on drinking while pregnant was the same, but I hadn't mulled over the issue like I am now. I chose not to drink at all--I love wine, but I'm an all or nothing type. I preferred to not imbibe at all and then enjoy the occasional glass post-partum. But I was well-aware of the nebulousness of info on drinking while pregnant, and the general consensus that a drink here and there isn't horrific (two OB-GYN friends of mine privately endorsed moderation and one even had the occasional glass of wine during her pregnancy).

But I know that if I had chosen to have a drink that it should have been in private, because the public judgment of my actions would have been worse than the action itself.

I was in a breast feeding course and asked the instructor if there was any harm in having the occasional glass of wine while breastfeeding. Her response: A glass of wine isn't harmful; handling a child while intoxicated is. It's all a matter of degree.

To be fair, many of these sweeping statements (No alcohol! No caffeine!) pushed on pregnant women are meant to influence all women--informed and uninformed. I don't get offended by this, but rather I educate myself so that I know all the shades of gray in between good and harmful.

Jory Des Jardins
writes on business and career topics at BlogHer, and on her personal blog From Here to Autonomy ( http://www.jorydesjardins.com )

Lisen Stromberg 6 pts

the occasional drink has no effect on the fetus. I'm not surprised!

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/10/10101...

Lisen
www.prismwork.com ( http://www.prismwork.com )

katetakes5 5 pts

I regularly had 1 or 2 drinks during all 3 of my pregnancies. I'm a great believer in 'everything in moderation' and since the scientists opinions keep changing aren't we really the best judges of our own bodies?
http://katetakes5.blogspot.com

ModaMama 5 pts

Just the other night my husband called me from a friend's birthday gathering (just the guys) to let me know they had spotted a pregnant woman with a beer in her hands and were shocked, they wanted to know what I thought. I asked if she was drunk or passed out over the beer, then I told him to put down the phone, mind his own business and leave the poor lady alone. I made him read through this discussion and others for the rest of the night when he came home. I think he's learned his lesson.

www.SaraInAkko.blogspot.com ( http://www.SaraInAkko.blogspot.com )

Life in the Middle East, with craft and spice

Sarah@naturaldiabetic.blogspot.com 5 pts

Thank you for your thoughtful comment! I wholeheartedly agree. We should focus our attention on monitoring ourselves and our attitudes/behaviors rather than "saving" those around us. Maybe many or the problems of this world would no longer be problems!

veryveryfine 5 pts

as someone who, while pregnant, enjoyed the occasional glass of wine (on the recommendation of my midwife) and had an infuriating encounter with a barista who chased me down to be sure my drink wasn't caffeinated ("because *he* might've served you regular, but *I* wouldn't have" -- it was peppermint tea), I really appreciate this. The paternalistic, condescending attitude of people toward pregnant women is nothing short of misogynistic.

chicktech 5 pts

I really appreciate this post from you. The womb police really ought to be better at catching criminals!!!
Personally I would suggest against alcohol, but honestly I don't really know much biology and all the information I have is from what mom's talk about!
Given that your doctor suggested it in your case, there should be no reason to avoid it, but ya I guess it should be in extreme moderation still, again relying on hearsay!

Lisen Stromberg 6 pts

It was a bad example. I was trying to raise the question of where the line can and should be drawn.

But I am not sure I agree with your final point. Are all things mother's do for themselves at risk of being considered an "unnecessary act" - isn't that a recipe for the reinforcement of the idea of uber-momhood and whole lotta guilt for the rest of us?

Again, I believe it goes back to empowering the mother to trust herself to make smart decisions for herself and her children.

Lisen
www.prismwork.com ( http://www.prismwork.com )

Lisen Stromberg 6 pts

I put it on Facebook for all to see.
Lisen
www.prismwork.com ( http://www.prismwork.com )

unbrokenworld 5 pts

Different commenter here :)

I enjoyed your article and largely I agree with you, although I do agree with the original commenter in this thread on the "devil's advocate" front, and I would say that there is a very big difference between the obese man with the Big Mac and the pregnant mother, namely that

1) The obese man may have already racked up some public healthcare costs, but the interest in the hypothetical interjecter here is from this point on, so it's a much shorter timeline involved than someone who needs expensive medical intervention from birth, and

2) Morally, the obese man is only affecting his own health outcome; the pregnant mother is affective the life and health of another person with her choices.

I think #2 is also exacerbated by the fact that the occasional glass of wine is generally an extravagance for enjoyment only (obviously different in your case), so it's seen as an unnecessary act that serves to minimally and transiently improve the mother's life, but permanently and negatively affect the baby's life.

That aside... I don't think a glass of wine every so often is actually detrimental. I'm starting to see studies around and hear conversations around about how it's really only binge-drinking, alcoholic mothers who have children with FAS, and the hype is just overblown.

So basically I agree with you, just not with your example ;)

FamilyLivingIdeas 5 pts

A little wine...come on...really? The doctor has a point and a reason for suggesting you drink a little for your specific condition. It's not like he told you to go bar hopping for crying out loud. People need to mind their own business.

Sherry Frewerd

Easy Family Crock Pot Recipes ( http://familycrockpotrecipes.com )

rivkisilver 5 pts

This article appeared on the Wordpress homepage today:

http://blogs.howstuffworks.com/2010/10/06/bottoms-...

So maybe those people who have the chutzpah to tell you how to live your pregnancy will be silenced!

Lisen Stromberg 6 pts

What responsibility does society have when an individual behaves in ways that are not considered acceptable? We often use the financial cost to society as rationale for justifying our intrusion. But how far is the line between the woman who abuses her body when she is pregnant and someone who overeats and doesn't exercise and then costs the tax payer thousands of dollars by getting diabetes and having a heart attack all without proper insurance? Is it my right to turn to the morbidly obese man next to me and say, "Hey, my tax dollars don't need you eating that second Big Mac?"

I just don't know where the line should be drawn but I am not a drug user and am pretty sure those "caring" individuals who have told me how to behave when I was pregnant didn't think I was either.

Lisen
www.prismwork.com ( http://www.prismwork.com )

Lisen Stromberg 6 pts

a reliable source on whether wine is good for you or not when you are pregnant - something about conflict of interest :)

Gloria Steinem once said, "The first problem for all of us, women and men, is not to learn but to unlearn." I am working on unlearning each and every day. How about you?
Lisen
www.prismwork.com ( http://www.prismwork.com )

MsAdventuress 6 pts

Growing up in an environment where the negative effects of alcohol, drugs, medication, chemicals and medical advice had a profound and permanent impact on more than one fresh, new, innocent life, I do find it hard to understand that doctors still exist whom don't utilize holistic solutions which are safe for both baby and parent. So I completely understand the need for womb police, physician police, etc., because every child deserves a chance to be born unaffected by such occassional choices. I'm guessing others who feel this way have experienced similarly, thus we know the quick choice that can destroy another for a lifetime. Good intentions, we have, due to the unintentional harm brought to little innocent ones.
Ms. Adventuress ( http://www.msadventuress.com ) is where we honor and inspire the desire to adventure ( http://msadventuress.blogspot.com/p/about.html )...

whistling_woman 5 pts

The man's behavior was rude. But there are MANY instances of women who really cannot be trusted to do what's best for their babies. I do believe that society has a role in the protection of the fetus...after all, when a drug-addicted mom has a 2 pound baby in the ICU for months on end, who pays for the million dollar hospital bill?
And, before someone asks: yes, I am pro-choice. We aren't talking about an unwanted pregnancy that is to be terminated. We're talking about someone who is going to be a person one day...a person who may well have to live with the results of his/her mother's behavior.

ModaMama 5 pts

Anyone remember pictures of Gweneth Paltrow eating sushi and drinking a Guinness Stout during a pregnancy back in 2006? Turns out women know what's right for their bodies, even when their bodies house a fetus... usually.

I recently found myself in the hospital with our toddler in a wing next to the "high risk pregnancies." I was pretty concerned to see how many seemed to be chain smoking all day-everyday. It's cultural and no interjection would change it.

Clearly being pregnant, or with a newborn, makes you the focus of the societal lens. Maybe we should learn to look at it as a beautiful compliment. All these well-intentioned busy-bodies care for the future. Although unsolicited and often misguided, their "help" is their way to care for society as a whole?

www.SaraInAkko.blogspot.com ( http://www.SaraInAkko.blogspot.com )

Life in the Middle East, with craft and spice

AmberS 5 pts

I read the Kristof article, and it highly annoyed me. Just as it highly annoyed me when the womb police issued citations to me during my two pregnancies.

I chose to get pregnant. I wanted the best for my babies. And I had the power to make my own decisions to accomplish that, based on my own unique circumstances. I contend that I should have been given the right to do that.

No one would dream of accosting a non-pregnant person and lecturing them about the evils (or benefits) of the flu vaccine, so why is it OK to do that to a pregnant woman? It's outright sexist, really.

Keeping it real in the suburbs at www.strocel.com ( http://www.strocel.com )

bizemom 5 pts

I believe you have good judgement. So, it's only fair that I fess up and admit I too had a glass of mulled wine with baby #2. It was the holidays, and well...I did.

However, to your point about trusting women; I suppose we have to, right? But I wish we didn't. There are some women who really can't or shouldn't be trusted. We've all seen those idiots--smoking, drinking, hitting, etc. their babies. I feel bad for their offspring.

Hope you understand my take. I do get where you are coming from.

P.S. The Research: I picked two obviously polar opposite articles for you to review on the effects of drinking while pregnant:

http://www.winespectator.com/webfeature/show/id/St...... ( http://www.winespectator.com/webfeature/show/id/St... )

http://www.nofas.org/advocate/Wine_and_Pregnancy.a...

My jury is still out.

Sweeneybird 5 pts

I'm unmarried and childless and completely respect your right to make informed health decisions for yourself and your child(ren). It's a difficult line to define, where society's responsibility for its members ends and where individual responsibility and freedom begin, but I'm not comfortable with anything that takes away a person's right to make their own choices.

Of course the debate over the rights of the child, whether in utero or born, adds another complex dimension to the discussion. And that's kind of the point - most people who chime in with their opinions about how you should eat/drink/live/behave during pregnancy don't know the particulars of your life, so how can they claim to know best?

We should give as much or more thought to tending our own gardens as we do to tending others. Or, as the nuns used to say in elementary school, keep your eyes on your own paper and worry about your own test.

queenmommy 5 pts

I know I steered clear of so many things while I was pregnant with my subsequent pregnancies after we had our daughter at 25 weeks. Harshly policing myself still ended up in plenty of preterm labor scares and the twins still did time in the NICU inspite of my organic, uber-healthy diet.

The idea of someonen ever having decisions made for them in regaurds to their own body is terrifying, to say the least; especially when it comes to how they're parenting in utero and the implication that they aren't capable of doing the right thing for you and your baby.

Lots to chew on here. Great post!

Lisen Stromberg 6 pts

I am not advocating drinking while pregnant. I am advocating trusting women to make the right decisions for themselves and their future children.

As for smoking? Well, it is an addiction. Drinking red wine (for majority of us) is not. I can stop at one glass of wine and I can choose not to have one for nine months. I do not feel the same compulsion to drink as my friends and family who are smokers feel about smoking. Can someone just have one cigarette and feel satisfied? I don't know. The research on persistent smoking and drinking is clear, it does harm the fetus. Is there research on having one glass of wine or one cigarette while pregnant? I'd be curious.

Thanks for getting the word out!

Lisen
www.prismwork.com ( http://www.prismwork.com )

robotheart 9 pts

Lisen Stromberg There is research out there on the impact of moderate alcohol consumption during pregnancy. Most studies seem to point to no significant harm and possibly also positive gains in terms of behavior and school performance. In order to cause fetal alcohol syndrome or any other negative impacts, you'd have to drink significant amounts of alcohol on a regular basis. The occasional glass of wine isn't going to hurt your baby...despite the sensationalism surrounding the matter.

I tend to look about as favorably upon people who want to panic over a pregnant woman drinking a single glass of wine as I do upon those who claim to be able to tell the sex of a baby based on how the mother is carrying. They have no scientific basis for the claims they're making, and therefore, should be treated as if they have the same amount of credibility.

bizemom 5 pts

I think this is a great topic for discussion. I expect you'll get some pretty heated debate from it as well. Without giving away my viewpoint on the subject, can I ask what's your stance on smoking while pregnant? Is it the same as drinking, and if not, why?

P.S. I plan to highlight you post in my Biz e-Friday Recap on my blog this evening. (It's the highlights of the week's best blogs.)

Check it out (sometime after 10pm) on my
Biz e-Mom's blog
http://bizemom.wordpress.com

hayes080505 6 pts

Society as a whole attempts to control its members, the very members who complain that they are losing their rights.

I did not drink alcoholic beverages during my second pregnancy and my son was born with a congenital heart defect. He suffers from a whole host of food and environmental allergies. I ate every fruit, vegetable, and lean meat placed in front of me during those long, miserable 9 months. I avoided large amounts of simple sugars and caffeine.

There is no explanation for my son's medical problems (although numerous doctors have attempted to answer the question "why")

Perhaps our need to control these "mindless pregnant women" is out of our subconscious recognition that an ever rising number of the member of our society are unable to "monitor" themselves?

With that said, I would be very alarmed to see a falling down drunk 8-month pregnant woman sitting next to me at dinner.

Drink your glass of wine, as a matter of fact, drink one for me...please!

Mrs. H
hayes080505 ( http://www.blogher.com/member/hayes080505 )

Lisen Stromberg 6 pts

I think you are getting at the crux of the issue. We can try to control so much but there is so much out of our control. We mothers live with enough guilt even though we are often doing our very best every day.

Lisen

alyssaroyse 9 pts

Thank You for this. I'm not gonna say too much, because it's been said. But, my doctor (who I adored) was pretty clear the impact of stress on both fetus and mother would be far worse than the impact of the occasional glass of wine.

And that women in Japan eat sushi when they're pregnant. :)

I can't say that I trust the government, the FDA or any other regulatory agency to tell us what's healthful for our bodies. Isn't that how we got Crisco, margarine, wonder bread and countless pharmaceuticals that were later proven toxic?

____________

Alyssa's Endless Musings on Life & Everything Else: AlyssaRoyse.com ( http://www.alyssaroyse.com )