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Tuesday November 25 marks the International Day Against Violence Against Women.
This is a horrific and growing problem around the world. Know the
facts. Recognize the signs. You may be able to save the life of a woman
you love.
One sunny morning in the pastoral northern town of Tirat Hacarmel, Israel, Noga Gadi, a beautiful 30-year old woman was stabbed 32 times with a knife while
in her own home, by none other than her husband. When he was questioned
in court about his actions, the husband replied, “What’s the big deal?
It happens all the time in this country.”
Noga is one of 33 women who were murdered last year in Israel by their partners,
spouses or other family members – a figure up from 13 women in 2004.
The women range in age from 9 to 80, they come from all parts of
Israel, and all ethnic and socio-economic backgrounds. Violence against
women cuts across all sectors of society in Israel, and is a problem
that continues to be on the rise. While the murder of Ethiopian women
has increased over the past two years, and the honor killings of Arab and
Bedouin women is garnering public attention, it would be a mistake to
think that this is a problem only in those communities. This year’s
events have special significance for Israeli Anglos as one of the most
shocking and brutal murders of a Hila Fisher and her two babies was
carried out by her husband, Michael Fisher, not only considered an
“model citizen” and elite member of the Hod Hasharon police force, by
apparently all who knew the family, but also the son of British
immigrants. There is no profile of a wife murderer. The horrific
phenomenon is unfortunately everywhere.
The signs of domestic violence may be easy to miss. Women abused by
their husbands are often educated and seem to lead normal lives, with
neighbors so often claiming, ‘We had no idea.” The Fisher’s were
described as “a perfect family” by their neighbors.
But perfect families do not end up all dead. Murdered by the man of the house.
Know the signs. Superficial
impressions are not enough to diagnose patterns of abuse. The signs are
often subtle and can be mistaken for excessive doting or charm. A man
who is charismatic (and controlling), who likes his wife to dress well
for him (and tells her what to wear), who takes care of all the
finances (and does not let her control money), who distances her from
friends (“I’m all you need”) – these are just some of the signs that
all is not well in paradise.
In acknowledgment of the International Day against Violence Against Women on November 25, Dr. Yael Levine composed a Prayer for Women Murdered by their Husbands,
to be read in synagogues in order to raise awareness and alarm about
this increasing trend. Unfortunately, Levine says, there is some
objection to this among some men in the religious community who claim
that the issue is “marginal” with only a “small number” of women
affected by this. This is a false claim, and Levine finds the comment
“distressing.”
According to Anat Gur of the Anima Clinic for Women’s Psychological Health,
“Violence against women has reached epidemic proportions.” She cites
the UNIFEM study according to which one out of three women around the
world will be physically attacked by her partner in her lifetime.
Israeli women may fare slightly better than women around the world,
with an estimated one in seven women projected to be a victim of
violence at home in her life. But even this number of one in seven
should give us pause. Women in Israel continue to suffer physical
violence for the sole reason that they are women, and this is not a
problem that can or should be dismissed as marginal.
Here are some more vital statistics about violence against women:
· 21%-34% of all women will be physically hurt by their partners or spouses
· The majority of women who are murdered are murdered by their partners or spouses.
· 14%-25% of teenage girls have been raped, including a large portion
of girls with mental disabilities, as well as a large portion who were
drugged using so-called date-rape drugs
· Over 80% of working women experience sexual harassment at the workplace at least once in her professional career
· Since the 1990’s, Israel has become a hot spot for trafficking of
women. It is estimated that there are one million (!) visits with
prostitutes a month in Israel
· Since 2004, there has been a dramatic increase in reports of sexual attack, gang rape, and rape-incest
In short, the greatest threat of external physical harm to women
remains men women know intimately. Whereas men are most threatened by
strangers, women are most threatened by the
