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Hi, I'm Karen Ballum, but I'm better know around the web as Sassymonkey. I live in Ottawa, Ontario -- Canada's national capital. (No, I do not li...
 
 
 
 

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Women's History Month: Writing Our Own Stories Word by Word

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Who have you told your story to? Have you written it down? Have you published it? Have you sat across a table from someone and told it to someone? These questions have been swirling around in my head since I found out that the theme of this year's National Women's History Month is "Writing Women Back Into History."

I've always found other women's stories fascinating. It wasn't a complete surprise that I decided to study history in university, nor was it a surprise that I found myself drawn to studying the bits that had to do with women's stories.The lives of women, for far too long, were considered not worthy of publication. Now we yearn for those histories. We dig through letters and diaries. We study them. We publish them. We raise the cry for more and then start digging again.

But while we are digging, reading and adding the women of the past into the histories where they belong, we cannot forget our own stories. Our stories are tomorrow's history.

I think many of us mean to write our words, as Chris put it, but like Chris we find the time slips by us faster than we can blink.

So many times I have things I want to write about. I write things in my mind. And then the time never materializes to write them down.

The hours that the kids are at school I had thought would stretch before me like an endless expanse, but they are now filled. With what exactly, I don’t pretend to understand. But I know that most days I look up from whatever it is I am doing and there is 30 minutes left before the kids come bounding in the front door.

I do that. I'll sit down to write and something else (SHINY!) will distract me. The next thing I know, it's two hours later. It's like when you go on vacation you dream of all the things that you are going to do, but at the end of the week you've done none of them and you wonder what you did with all that time. I don't want to find myself 10 years from now wondering what I did with all that time. Right now I can tell you that I am living it, but will I remember how I spent those 10 years? Will you?

We're blessed with the ability to share our lives via technology. Our stories are immediately publishable thanks to blogs. We can share them with someone in the same city that we've never met or someone half way around the world. I know this, and yet for the most part I'm not really doing it.

Sometimes I'll start writing something but the words won't come out right, so I stop. I hit that stupid "x" and choose to close without saving. I don't carry around an index card and pencil like Anne Lamott suggests for when thoughts and stories appear in my head. I don't switch over to a new window and and type a couple of sentences. I take pictures but don't do anything with them.

I'm not telling my own story.

When I think of the women who are participating in the University of Guelph's Human Library project I feel I need to do better. These women are sitting down across from strangers and telling them their stories. If they can have the courage to do that I can certainly put my fingers to the keyboard and hammer out a story about the small, but important, things in my life. Maybe it's a moment. Maybe it's a person I see on the bus. Maybe something triggers a memory of a funny story from my past. These stories bubble up all the time, and I waste them.

I'm trying harder. I'm saving drafts instead of hitting the x. I'm grabbing my iPhone and creating a new note or snapping a photo. That's all it takes to get started.

Writing is a muscle I have to exercise if I want to share my story. I need to remind myself that my story is not big and it does not have to be. I need to remind myself that my life is lived in the in-between moments. The big moments and the celebrations, are benchmarks but the in-between moments are where my life is lived. They are the little things that I want to remember ten years from now. Maybe it's that day that we took off on

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sassymonkey 6 pts

It's nice to look back at where I was five years ago (even if the writing does make me cringe by time).

Also, I just noticed you are in BC. Woohoo! Another Canadian. ;)

sassymonkey 6 pts

It's really not people's stories that I envy, it's their ability to tell them. Unfortunately that often means that I don't tell mine because I want to write like x, y, or z. I need to keep reminding myself that they only way to tell my stories is my way and practice makes, well not perfect but better. 

alexistlesa 5 pts

Thanks for the great post...it really inspired me to get back to basics and start writing and stop "researching." That's what I call the hours I spend online scouring other people's blogs and wishing I could sound that good on my blog. :) I very recently started a blog about my (sometimes funny) experience with clinical depression, and writing about it has made it less scary. Now it's just something that happens to me, and I just deal with it as best I can. Only the perpective and insight that writing brings can ever do that for me.

Alexis writes a blog at www.depressionsandconfessions.com ( http://www.depressionsandconfessions.com )

sassymonkey 6 pts

Have you ever heard of the mass observation project that happened in the UK during WWII ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mass-Observation )? Nella Last is probably the most famous of the every day people that recorder their lives and thoughts during that time. It's really fascinating to look back on that time through those letters. I kind of feel like that's a bit what blogging is like for most of us. We're documenting our lives, bit by bit for the world to see. The historian in me loves it.

Contributing Editor Sassymonkey also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

sassymonkey 6 pts

I had to go take a peek at your "Once A Little Girl" blog and those are some great memories and stories.

Contributing Editor Sassymonkey also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

sassymonkey 6 pts

I'm a big lurker and lurk on lots of people's blogs (generally speaking, I'm not a very good commentor...I'm working on that since it's mostly just laziness).

I haven't read anything about Amelia Earhart since I was in grade school. I should add her to my big list of "things I need to read about."

Contributing Editor Sassymonkey also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

sassymonkey 6 pts

The nitty gritty is important, it's how we get through things. I think that's the piece that I miss when I write about things and when I remember things. I know what I did but how did I do it and what did it look and feel like in the moment?

Contributing Editor Sassymonkey also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

divorcedbefore30 5 pts

This is exactly why blogging is so powerful for women! I've been writing about my divorce and post-divorce dating, and it's been an amazing ride. Sharing my stories with other men and women has been so powerful, and I plan to archive everything I write so my kid(s) can read it someday.

Emma writes a "blogoir" at www.divorcedbefore30.com ( http://www.divorcedbefore30.com )

TheBlackTortoise 5 pts

I have two blogs.  I just started one three weeks ago that tells my growing up story:  just 23 posts strong, and mostly family viewers, but a few other faithfuls. I start myself out with a prompt "when I was a little girl"  sometimes the story goes in a direction I wasn't expecting.  One thing I'm surprised about is the lessons I've learned from the most mundane happenings.

Adela

www.oncealittlegirl.wordpress.com ( http://www.oncealittlegirl.wordpress.com )

www.theblacktortoise.com ( http://www.theblacktortoise.com )

KLZ 5 pts

Thanks so much for this post.

Chris' blog is actually the very first I ever followed (I've been lurking there a long time) and that post really resonated with me. In terms of my life, my history. But you're right that it's so much broader than that. It makes me want to find more about Amelia Earhart.  It makes me more sure that starting my blog was the right move. It makes me want to put other people's stories down on paper.

I really loved this. Thanks for exercising your writing muscle on it.

JennaHatfield 10 pts

I mean, we know that I cry at Folgers commercials (no, really) but this post made me cry. I don't know why. I think maybe because I so frequently shy away from the nitty-gritty of my story for various reasons.

This is a lovely post and I plan on referencing it soon.

Now stop making me cry. And pass the coffee.

@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom ) from Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com )

Annette _Fergusson 5 pts

This is why I blog! The blogosphere is a place where I feel encouraged to write and supported enough to do it free of judgment. Thanks for starting off this month with such a great post!

Blogging about all things women.

Blog: http://wwwiamwomanhearmeroar.blogspot.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/afergusson