Words I couldn't let go of

I'm 31 years old. I have three children. All in which have different fathers. In 2007 I had just had my second child ( technically 2006 the end). My sons father and I had tried to make it work. After all he was a product of a broken home, and my 3 year old daughter already was so I wanted to give him a better family life then my daughter had. It just wasn't working out. I worked as a massage therapist. In an office and on the side. I worked late nights and very long days. While working outside the office I took a new client. One in which would change my life for the next four years I just had no idea at that moment. At the end of our session which ran about an hour and a half longer then it should have due to talking he asked if he could save my number and if I'd like this. I said yes. I had learned he had no children and was seperated from his wife who he had very little if any good to speak of her. I walked away from him feeling sad for him and feeling a connection that I didn't think I was ready for. The next two days all I could wonder was " is he going to call me". My entire two days revolved around this. Finally I decided to call him and left a short message. As soon as I hung up I played the night we met over in my head. He opened the door and I lost my words. He was the furthest thing from gorgeous but his eyes melted me. While replaying this all, he called back. We decided to go on a date. He said "I'll pick you up" I said "great" then realized I didn't give him my address. Truth is I didn't even tell him the truth as to the town I lived in nor did he have my last name. I asked " do you want my address" he replied " I have it". Why this didn't give me a heads up or freak me out is beyond me. That was the beginning of a very very long, lonely, hurtful, heartbreaking, and pathetic four years to come.......

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