Words left unsaid
By damsalinterrupted on May 02, 2014
The past tastes of sorrow and pain
A different boy had my heart then.
When it came to the end, the words unsaid left a bitter taste in my mouth.
When it came to say goodbye on the phone, there was silence which was usually filled with “I love you”.
The silence, the hesitation, the sigh, the hang up tone tore through me. It lay open the brokenness of our relationship.
It exposed your unwillingness to fix it.
All the things unsaid were enough to tear my world down. I could feel your disdain and what felt like hatred radiate from across our distance.
Your voice was off, you hurried our conversations and did not ask me how I was.
The silence was a dagger.
A good boy has me now. The words left unsaid are met with anticipation. The words are felt and fill the atmosphere with warmth and excitement.
There is balance and light and hope.
It looks like there is a future.
No words are spoken to this effect. It’s magic, it’s a secret.
I look forward to the words undoing me, of having that effect, that pulse.
I say them in my head everytime we kiss or you look at me and say “I’m happy “
The scars of yesterday still haunt me but I can separate the people. I have a clear view. The words unsaid previously don’t hurt me anymore, they serve as a reminder. They chide me and I am embarrassed by my desperate attempts to hold onto someone that didn’t want me.
It’s strange to feel all the past situations fade away. The really fucked up times take an almost dreamlike state.
The person I was fades into the person I am.