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Hard to believe it, but I’ve been going out with Wine Guy for almost a
year and a half and he and Only Child have yet to meet. Granted, I
don’t see OC all that much and we only talk every month or so, but
meeting and moving in with Wine Guy is the first major development in
my life that he hasn’t had any part in since we first met in 1999, and
it feels kind of strange.
Wine
Guy and I are “unconventional” when it comes to our exes. I know people
cringe when they hear how he and I have Ex-Wine Gal over for dinner
just about every week. Or how she regularly calls him for career
advice, or how they’ll gab on and on and on and on (infinity) about
wine to the point where I’m hungover just listening to them.
Yes,
I get jealous, but not romantically. Their relationship was more one of
friendship than romance, so I have no fear that something would happen
with them along those lines. My jealousy has actually only emerged
since we moved in together and it revolves around what they have in
common (gourmet food and wine) and how I feel like an outsider when
they talk about it. Not that I don’t enjoy good food and wine. I just
refuse to dedicate excessive amounts of brain space to all theknitty
gritty details required to make one a “foodie” versus a regular
run-of-the-mill face-stuffer like me.
And, yes, I do get kind
of pissed when Wine Guy excitedly calls me asking if I want to go to
dinner tonight at the latest new restaurant with him and Ex-Wine Gal.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy her company and she is nice as can be. And
I know he probablywouldn’t go if I said I couldn’t make it – he wants
to experience it with me. What pisses me off is that I know that he
wants to go so badly because she suggested it - he values her opinion on these matters that much. But if I had
asked him to go to that very same place without any prodding from Ex, I
can almost guarantee you that WG would say, “well, I’d rather work
tonight,” or “I don’t want to spend the money.” But because she has an
opinion about food that he respects, he jumps on it with rare
enthusiasm.
That. Pisses. Me. Off.
And I’m not anyone you
want to be around when I 'm pissed off. I sulk. I make snide comments.
I zone out of the conversation. I take an extra long time in the
bathroom. In general, I’m an immature bitch. Nobody wins.
And,
yes, this is causing Wine Guy and me the tension you would expect. See
why I haven’t written much lately? Who wants to hear about these lame
problems? Okay, maybe you do. But, see, Ex-Wine Gal reads this blog
from time to time and I haven’t wanted to put my feelings on this
matter out there for her consideration. But to hell with it. She’s not
the one I have the problem with anyway.
When it comes to Only
Child, Wine guy seems 100% uninterested. From what I understand about
men, they generally want nothing to do with knowledge about their
girlfriend’s past, while women want to gather every piece of
information they possibly can to understand what level of competition
(real or imagined) they are up against. Did you say I love you to her?
How often did you have sex? Why did you break up? All those fun little
details.
Whether or not he wants to hear it, I tend to bring up
Only Child occasionally anyway. Not to bother him really but because,
well, we were together for 6 years so there is bound to be a relevant
story involving him every so often. Why should I refrain from sharing
it just because of the Ex Factor?
When I do get the chance to
see Only Child, we usually meet for dinner, usually on a night that
Wine Guy is busy. But I haven’t seen him since we moved in together and
am eager forOC to see the new place, meet the new dog, see our old cat
(AppleButt, who lived with OC and me for awhile before I moved out) and
generally understand my life as it is now. Just like I want all my
friends to do. But since it’s not just MY place but OUR place to show,
I realize the time for Wine Guy and Only Child to meet is, indeed , now.
Tonight, my friends, my worlds collide.
My
gut has always told me that they will get along. Possibly even like
each other.
