Would You Give Your Child An Autism-Be-Gone Pill?

I'm sure I'm going to get hated on for this, but yes, I would, depending on the severity of the autism. This is assuming that they are not old enough or otherwise incapable of deciding for themselves. If they were old enough and could decide for themselves, I would have them make the decision.

I will now speak from the perspective of someone who lives with major mental illness. As an adult, if I could take a pill or have a procedure that would magically cure my bipolar and borderline personality disorders and my OCD, would I do it?

Probably...but I'm not entirely sure. I've lived so long functioning from this perspective that I'm not sure I'd know how to function from the perspective of someone who doesn't have to deal with these issues.

People are surprised when they hear of people who are blind and able through surgery to gain back their eyesight ending up depressed and wishing they hadn't had the operation. But I understand. It's a completely different world.

So, if a child were very young and had the opportunity to function within normal parameters if given a pill, I believe that is the decision I would make for them to give them a chance to be free of the challenges of autism. If they were older, only they could decide for themselves what is right.

You know.. My kids are heavily medicated. I don't know how much it would change them. Not just that. Would I know the difference if they were born normal? Not at all. Both boys have ASD, so I am not sure what normal IS anymore. I have a feeling that our kids while they can be hell to deal with are going to play a key in our future in regards to technology. We need these guys. We always have. I am not sure if I would want everyone to fit nice and neat in a little box. Where would be without inventors and the people who think out of the box?

Suffering. Do you really view that your children suffer? After reading through the comments. I just had to ask. My kids believe that it's a super human power. Sure it's hard. Ok, not including the children who have seizures & autism. To me, nonverbal & seizures, would qualify as suffering. Not not everyone has it that bad. I mean, our kids aren't dying, they don't have cancer, they don't need open heart surgery, no one is shooting at them, they have all their limbs. Yes, we live in A LOT of stress because our kids are very stressful. But really... suffering? That's just not how I see my kids. I will not pity them. They will be capable of a lot and they will make me scream, cry, and laugh along the way.

Zoia Nusbaum

www.PolyHobbyMommy.com ( http://polyhobbymommy.com )

www.twitter.com/polyhobbymommy ( http://www.twitter.com/polyhobbymommy.om )

Carol, I love your comment and agree with every word.

I find that the cure argument often becomes a way for people to express their pain -- either a parent's pain over his or her child's suffering, or an autistic person's pain over being treated as broken and/or the enemy. There are other viewpoints in the debate, of course, but a lot of the emotion tends to be generated by these two parties playing off against one another.

I feel the pain of both sides and yet, there is often little I can do when emotions run high, because I don't think the discussion is really about a cure. I think it's really about suffering, and about the fact that people on all sides feel alone and abandoned by a world that doesn't have much time for people who don't fit the cultural mold of able-bodied and thrilled with their lives.

Ultimately, the discussion can become both destructive and a distraction from the task at hand -- how to get support and treatments that alleviate suffering in the here and now.

So whenever someone starts asking a hypothetical question about a hypothetical cure, I tend to have the same response as when someone asks what I would do with 10 million dollars: When I get there, I'll let you know. In the meantime, I have a lot of work to do.

Rachel
www.journeyswithautism.com ( http://www.journeyswithautism.com )

This has been on my mind for a while, and I thank you for posting this!

As a practitioner of the healing arts, I believe that a child's Autism can be erased ... without a pill ... IF the child supports living without it. If the child no longer wants his/her Autism, it really can be shifted out.

If the child supports having Autism, or any other disorder, however, then he/she is holding onto it to teach us the lessons we need to learn, and to help us make changes that help all of us (food choice changes, detoxing, removing chemicals from food/environment, more patience, unconditional love, etc). Radical, yes ... possible, yes.

How can these children tell us that they want to keep or give up their Autism? We check in with their energy field, and that tell us everything.

I recently started working with differently-abled children using energy work and other interesting modalities, and have seen promising results: After a few days after a session with a severely Autistic 9 year old boy, he connected with his Mom for the first time - a heart connection. She cried with joy.

Last week, an adult asked if I could help a friend's Autistic child ... when I checked in with his energy, I felt he wanted to give up his Autism. So I did a session with him, and I asked the adult friend to keep a journal of positive shifts she notices in this boy, as it may take a while for shift to manifest.

I completely understand if folks think I'm wacky! But I believe we can give our differently-abled children an option to live without disorders, if they choose to.

Ida
www.sensorystreet.com ( http://www.sensorystreet.com )
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sensory-Street-Inc/167715775514

I have respect for adults with autism who are at peace with who they are. I also advocate and educate the community tirelessly about my child's differences and how to accomodate him and push for tolerance, understanding, and inclusion every day. But, many people who have autism of do suffer. Their families suffer. I prefer person centered terminology like a person with autism (or a person with schizophrenia, or a person with diabetes) over an autisitic, a schizophrenic, a diabetic... because the PERSON is not the disorder. I respect adults who are happy with themselves and have autism. But, I personally do not believe that a diagnosis should be the same as an identity.

When I wish the extreme struggles and hardships away from my son and my family, I am in no way intimating that I wish you did not exist or that I hate who you are, or that people with autism are not worthwhile.

Why should an 8 year old child have to suffer from extreme panic, anxiety, and fears on a daily basis? Why should i be okay with a sensory system that makes life literally painful for my son? Why should I be okay with the fact that as a single parent I cannot find a way to work full time to provide for him because there are no accessible childcare programs for him? I get no funding, services are outrageously expensive. He needs a 1:1 nanny because he cannot tolerate the environment and peer interaction at typical childcare settings and afterschool programs, something most people including myself cannot afford. he cannot navigate any social or recreational setting with peers without a paid aide along as well. We suffer from social isolation, undue amounts of stress, and periods of debilitating anxiety for him and now depression for me.

I know of no other group who advocate against parents providing treatment and working to eradicate the same disorder they have for future generations. Autism can be absolutely debilitating for many, even in its milder forms. If you are happy and well and functioning pretty well in life and you have autism, consider yourself blessed and lucky and a role model and living example of what all parents hope for their children who live with autism.

It is my absolute dream that he grows up to be happy with himself, at peace with his autism, and able live a life more defined by his strengths and talents than his deficits. (and not by his autism, either) I am damn happy for adults who have autism who are happy just the way they are. I have nothing but respect and admiration for them. I hope the same for my child.

But I also wish that his autism didn't have to exist in the first place. Seeing your child confused, stressed out, panicking, starting to be a target at school by age 6, staying up past midnight too many nights to count while he freaks the F out and nothing can calm him, having to advocate, explain, protect, and FIGHT for his basic rights and care as a parent every day just plain sucks. It really does. I wish it would all go away.

I ADORE my child. He is brilliant and kind and calm. He is funny and enthusiastic, and goofy and a wonderful human being who I love with all my heart. I wouldn't trade him for the world, with or without his autism. I just believe that autism is only one thing about him. I would be thrilled if it wasn't.

Jerk-be-gone. The things you want to spare your child from according to the post are yes, understandable, but not limited to autism. I believe the logic is inherently flawed. It's more like human-experience-be-gone. We are a sum of our internal and external experiences, good and bad, autistic or not. Change the internal, change the person.

http://poopingredguy.blogspot.com/

well yes I would, I love my son for who he is,but I would because my son cannot talk and has sensory problems and that cannot be fun for him.I know allot of parents worry when they die where will my child go,that is a big issue.Plus I want my son to be happy that he can do things for himself.Autism is not some cute personality trait it is a disorder that has nothing to do with his real personality! I do not believe it is a curse on his life to have autism I do love him for who he is as a person.

Hell Yeah.

I see who my daughter is behind the Autism. All of the wonderful parts of her are not because of the Autism...they exist in spite of it. I don't think it's cool to be part of this club and I am not going to wear her Autism like a badge. If I could "cure" her, of course I would. Life is so hard for HER sometimes...how could I NOT?

I'm not concerned about PC or non PC - in my son's own words "I wish I didn't have autism." I'm glad there are glasses, braces, and medication for my kids afflicted with poor sight, crooked teeth, allergies, and ADHD, and would jump at the chance to make life easier for my son afflicted with autism. I would give him the choice to take it, and I'm confident he would.

Hi Everybody,

The aforementioned Carol Greenburg here. As Shannon said I'm the verbal autistic mother of a practically non-verbal autistic son.

Ironic that the topic of pills should come up right now. My son is on a new medication and we're desperately trying to establish an optimal dose. So far it seems overall to have a positive effect that outweighs it's side effects, so we're gonna stick with it for the time being. This medication is by no stretch of the imagination an autism-be-gone pill. That's cause there is no such thing, and I find it difficult to believe there ever will be.

Like many autistic folks, I prefer the concrete to the hypothetical, so I confess that I really don't care for these kinds of discussions. (Except of course as they relate to science fiction and comic books, both of which I enjoy, but neither of which are high-stakes ongoing issues in my day-to-day life. )

When a question generates as much tumult as this one has clearly triggered, I usually take the controversy as a hint that we may be asking the wrong question. I'd say that we're not really talking about autism or pills here. We're talking about the inevitable pain of parents watching their children in pain.

Like anyone I don't care for suffering and like any other parent, I can't bear to watch my little boy suffer. Some of the difficulties my son was having due to his autism, are alleviated by the meds we're giving him. Same goes for me; I assure you I'm thoroughly, but very responsibly medicated myself.

For me, real medication that we have access to now, as opposed to magical medication that will likely never exist, takes the enough of the edge off of...well, let's just call it them difficulties that go along with being neurologically outnumbered. For me, as an autistic person and for me as the parent of an autistic person, taking the edge off of those struggles is good enough.

As the Bhuddists point out, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Both my child and I have basically sunny dispositions. I choose to focus on the positives of who I am, and my little boy's frequent smiles suggest he takes that position too. I wouldn't presume to speak for him on the issue of his pain, but I believe that what causes me difficulty is inextricable from what makes me who I am. That has nothing to do with autism. That's just the human condition.

I'd never give my kid a pill I wouldn't take myself under similar circumstances. I wouldn't take an Austism-be-gone pill, so I wouldn't give one to my kid. So I suppose it's just as well, I'll only have to answer this unanswerable question in a hypothetical way.

Carol Greenburg

Would I give it to my two boys who have aspergers syndrome. In a freaking heartbeat. Their autism is not who they are. Autism makes everything they want for themselves harder to accomplish than it needs to be.It is one thing to be accepting of something you cannot change, which is our children's autism, and quite another to say that you wouldn't take away a neurological disability which can cause not only all kinds of emotional trauma but for some is horribly debilitating and for those who are severely low functioning take from them any chance of a full independent life.

Elise http://asd2mom.blogspot.com

Autism is a complex neurological disorder that likely comprises several, if not scores, of different disorders which have yet to be teased away from each other. The label also includes people who are content and independent, and have no wish to be anything other than who they are.

I agree that no one wants their loved ones to suffer -- I give my son with intense autism three pills a day, and they help his well-being and health dramatically. But those meds address specific behaviors and conditions, not his autism as a whole, because autism is too multifaceted to discuss in monolithic terms. I again recommend Michael Berubé's post (linked in my previous comment) for a more fine-grained consideration of the cure/pill matter.

I also recommend listening to adults with autism. A good start: Carol Greenburg's recent interview on The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism:

http://thinkingautismguide.blogspot.com/2011/04/interview-with-carol-gre... ( http://thinkingautismguide.blogspot.com/2011/04/interview-with-carol-greenburg-autism.html )

Shannon Des Roches Rosa ThinkingAutismGuide.com ( http://www.thinkingautismguide.com ) | BlogHer.com ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/shannon-des-roches-rosa ) | Squidalicious.com ( http://www.squidalicious.com/ )

If you had a pill that could take away pain, suffering, arthritis, cancer and more, let's be honest - anyone would give it. There is no nobility in suffering. There is no benefit to anyone to have a disorder that is disruptive in any way. Maybe there are lessons to be learned by caregivers. Maybe caregivers can find strength they didn't know they had, or maybe they can get enlightened, or find selflessness. But there can be no upside for a child with autism who would not be given a pill that could make their autism vanish.

Nancy Konigsberg is a pediatric occupational therapist specialing in child development ( http://www.milestonemom.com ) and baby milestones.  She has a blog called Milestone Mom ( http://www.milestonemom.com )

This is such an interesting question, and it opens a can of worms. Would I want to change who my children are in order to eliminate "autism"? I wish this theoretical magic pill could eliminate all the issues, but keep all the goodness and all the things I cherish in my children that has been influenced by autism.

But thank you so much for posting this. I'm sure that we all (parents of autistic children) have thought about this from time to time. Some of us would jump at the opportunity. Others, probably not.

There's no WRONG answer here.....just more questions.

For my full blog, please see http://myfamilysexperiencewithautism.blogspot.com/

A couple of times.

http://daisymayfattypants.blogspot.com/2008/01/red-or-blue.html

http://daisymayfattypants.blogspot.com/2010/09/asking-aspie-cure-questio... ( http://daisymayfattypants.blogspot.com/2010/09/asking-aspie-cure-question.html )

So I won't repeat myself here. I know not everyone can ask their autistic child this question. These blog posts represent solely our own situation. As any post related to parenting OR autism does. Nothing exists with as many "sides" as there would have to be to accommodate the viewpoints and experiences involved here; not even a buckyball would suffice.

Cheers! Emily ( http://daisymayfattypants.blogspot.com/ )

I just read a book called The Speed of Dark where the narrator had autism. At that point there were older people with very serious autism, middle aged people that had grown up with training and supports, and children who had been "cured" in the womb or just after birth. The narrator fit into that middle group and the plot point centered around an experimental surgery to cure. It brought up a lot of questions and no single answer.

As an adult who no doubt would be diagnosed as somewhere on the spectrum when I was a child if it had been better understood, no, I probably wouldn't. My quirks may drive some people crazy, but they are also what makes me fabulous at what I do.

As a woman with a son who was recently dx'd as being at the tail of the spectrum--I still would probably say no because while some things are hard for him (e.g. he went to a college tour where he had a surprise interview and he came home complaining that he didn't have the script for that.) part of what makes him HIM. Do I sometimes wish he could start a conversation without one of his standard phrases? Yes. Would it be worth a danger to get rid of it? No, I don't think so...not really, though he would be able to choose for himself fairly soon.

On the other hand, I know a lot of parents of children on the other end of the spectrum. They worry because if something happens to them--who will take care of their child--forever. In the meantime, family life circles around that child. You can't run out to dinner on a whim, daring to take a vacation to a destination more than an hour away may be impossible or require years of planning. Siblings have a rough time. Parents divorce over the strain. It isn't the same. It isn't a choice of things being a little easier--but a choice for the child and family to have a very different life.

Retro-Food.com

But they get eyeballs. They certainly got mine.

I get what you're writing, I do. But I think it's both dangerous and unkind to use the term "Autism-be-gone" or talk about a pill for autism, especially at a time when "autism" means a spectrum including people like my son whose needs require 1:1 support, and independent activists who are both proud and vocal about being autistic. I would recommend Todd Drezner's film Loving Lampposts (www.lovinglamppostsmovie.com ( http://www.lovinglamppostsmovie.com )) as a primer for folks interested in exploring the experiences on the autism spectrum from a positive perspective.

As Michael Berubé wrote, "Race for the reasonable accommodation" doesn't fit on a t-shirt the way "race for the cure" does. Like you, I want my son's life to be easier than it is. But we have to be careful not to include everyone who shares our kids' diagnoses when we're talking about our own experiences. We need to choose our words -- and headlines -- carefully.

Michael Berubé's must-read article on cure vs. mitigation:
http://crookedtimber.org/2010/01/14/mighty-moloch-cure-me-of-my-severe-a... ( http://crookedtimber.org/2010/01/14/mighty-moloch-cure-me-of-my-severe-allergy-to-the-discourse-of-the-cure/ )

Shannon Des Roches Rosa ThinkingAutismGuide.com ( http://www.thinkingautismguide.com ) | BlogHer.com ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/shannon-des-roches-rosa ) | Squidalicious.com ( http://www.squidalicious.com/ )

The Other Me ( http://sashabreeze.blogspot.com/ )

((thank you)) and YES! I love your blog, nice seeing you over here. : )

I totally appreciate your honesty as always Jill. I have to say I agree. My daughter is amazing but watching her struggle through sensory overload and mood swings she can't control breaks my heart and if I could make them stop I would do it in a heartbeat.

You mean the WOMAN behind the curtain. I think we all know the men are all standing in front of the curtain wondering how to get to the other side of it ;)

Cheryl D.

Little Bit Quirky ( http://littlebitquirky.blogspot.com )

How dare you expose our truth? You've exposed the man behind the curtain!

Well, now that's out, congrats on your awesome Blogher syndication! You rock!

I so understand every word you are saying. Taking away the parts that disable doesn't change who our children are but rather what keeps them from being who they are.

Such a great post! I understand every thing you want to take away and every bit of it is not your son- it is the autism. <3

and how could you not wish for something to make their life easier. Yes, its part of who they are, yes, its their individuality - but its also their challenge, and changes the dynamics of a family. You are not saying that you would change the person by doing this ...
I read your blog, your love for your son shines thro on the good and the bad days
And yes, sparkles for being on Blogher :)

http://www.bywordofmouthmusings.com

Alexandra  ( http://www.gooddayregularpeople.com/ ) keeps a humor blog, Good Day, Regular People.com ( http://www.gooddayregularpeople.com/ ), where she writes of small town life, raising 3 boys.

It's your honesty that your readers love, Jillsmo.

The truth isn't always pretty, but it's the truth.

GREAT to see you on BlogHer.

I love your honesty.
Many think one thing but never say it.
I'm sure every day is both a challenge and an adventure. x