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AV Flox is a Peruvian transplant living in Los Angeles. She is the editrix-in-command of Sex and the 405, a site that shows you what your newspaper w...
 
 
 
 

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Would You Let A Former Porn Star Read to Your Kids?

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The notion that anyone who has had sex is therefore unfit to be around children is so deeply ingrained in our consciousness that we rarely acknowledge it. But daily it makes itself manifest. An attractive mother who takes care of herself and shows a little too much cleavage is often regarded with derision, her revealing shirt held up as evidence that she is unfit to parent.

Family attorneys around the nation have submitted photos during bloody custody battles showing a mother in thigh highs or a father in leather, and made arguments of their obviously dangerous lifestyles. Heaven forbid if you don't fall into the heteronormative, binary, cookie-cutter relationship, or make your sexual life, however conformist, explicitly known. Heaven forbid you're an adult star or even former adult star and you decide to have children.

What our nervous sideway glances and jeers say is simple: if you let on that you have sex, you're a danger to our children, and possibly to society itself. Never mind if you're a tax-paying, law-abiding, philanthropic citizen otherwise -- the second it becomes known that you have sex or are interested in it, you're immediately labeled unfit.

This is what is happening right now with former porn star Sasha Grey, who quit the adult entertainment industry to focus on mainstream entertainment and has since appeared in the popular television series Entourage. She recently joined the National Education Association's program Read Across America, which combats illiteracy by showing children the joy of the written word through age-appropriate book readings.


Photo by San Jose Library.

On Wednesday, November 2, Grey went to Emerson Elementary School in Compton, California and read Dog Breath by Dav Pikey to first and third graders. According to celebrity gossip site TMZ, parents were horrified to have a former pornographic star read to their children. They contacted the California Parent-Teacher Association, which got in touch with the principal of the school, demanding an explanation.

A representative of the school district denied Grey was among the stars who read to children each year, saying, "We have several celebrities who read to our students each year. The actress you have indicated was not present."

This is technically true: usually, Read Across America is celebrated once a year on Dr. Seuss's birthday in March. During the one-day celebration, stars read to the children of Compton United School District. Previous celebrity guests have included Raven Symone of That's So Raven, Rachelle Lefevre of Twilight: New Moon, Quinton Aaron of The Blind Side, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants Tom Kinney, and many others. Sasha Grey was not present at the usual Read Across America celebration.

But she did read to children at Emerson Elementary with Read Across America, a program she joined because literacy is something she believes is essential.

"Illiteracy contributes to poverty; encouraging children to pick up a book is fundamental," Grey said today in a statement posted on Twitter. The statement went on.

I believe education is a universal right. I committed to this program with the understanding that people would have their own opinions about what I have done, who I am and what I represent.

I am an actor. I am an artist. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a partner. I have a past that some people may not agree with, but it does not define who I am. I will not live in fear of it.

To challenge non-profit education programs is an exercise in futility, counter-productive and anti-educational.

Here is a woman who is contributing her time to get kids excited about reading. But we don't want her help. Even though she is dressed conservatively, even though she won't speak about the adult aspect of her career, even though all she will do is sit and read -- she is dangerous. She is a bad example. She had sex and she did it on camera, and we will never let her forget that.

Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture or do you agree that anyone who has participated in adult film is unsuitable to being around children? I don't get it and you're welcome to explain it to me.

AV Flox is the section editor of Love & Sex on BlogHer. You can connect with her on Twitter @avflox, Google Plus +AV Flox, or e-mail her directly at av.flox AT BlogHer.com

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WendyU 5 pts

Ridiculous. I don't care if she's CURRENTLY a porn star; it has nothing to do with who she is as a person. Of course, I'm Canadian. Maybe that has something to do with it?

MistyE 8 pts

Honestly, as long as she was fully clothed and not promoting sex, it wouldn't bother me at all. Let the past be the past. Don't be mad at her because you found her in your husband's secret drawer, be mad at him.

virgofiredragon 6 pts

Do we know the history of all the people our kids come into contact with daily? How much do you know about your childs teachers? what about your pastors and priest? or the coaches, how much have you dug and investigated these ppl? hypocrites can say see how much i care about my kid...im not letting that woman read to my kids....we can judge and not be accountable for our own neglect. Literacy wouldnt be a problem if instead of wathching DWTS we were reading with our own kids.

3littleMiracles 5 pts

I think a little of this conversation is naive to think that these children won't find out that they were read to by a former porn star and that some mothers and fathers are having to explain what a porn star is now. Children talk about the things they see on TV, internet, and magazines and your child may only be a kindergartener or first grader but they are riding a bus with older kids that do talk about stuff you many not approve of, such as the porn star that was in their school. YEP, that is the way they will hear the news, they won't hear the word "former" they will hear porn star and they will spread the words like fire through their school and the younger kids will wonder what it means and the older kids may not explain it the way mom and dad would. I think in an ideal situation when we can be in position to NOT judge a persons past or present, in fact God's word tells us not to judge one another, but as parents it's our job to judge the character of those who come into the lives of our children. Grey's willingness and passion to battle for literacy is wonderful, but I for one would not want to sit down with my 6 year old son and have a big conversation about what a porn star is. Yes it is true I don't know about the personal lives of many people that come into contact with my children, but we also aren't going to read about most of those people or see their former career written about in the paper or talked about on TV.

Jaguwar 6 pts

I have no explanation. At all. We all have secret lives, secret pasts, some of which we regret, others we might be deeply ashamed of, or out families would be scandalized about. It's hypocrisy, really. After all, Grey's only real "crime" was being open about what most of us take for granted on a (hopefully) regular basis.

LadyGeographic 7 pts

Wonderful! I was looking at the pictures and the kids look so happy that someone is taking the time to read to them. I can not help but wonder how many books get read to them at home?

Who cares what she did in the past? I have news for you, those kids did not come immaculate conception and I bet you some of those parents recognized her from more than a news article. So, I fail to see what the fuss is all about.

Chris--MomathonBlog.com 12 pts

Sasha Grey is promoting learning to read--and that is a good thing! She has made positive steps to move on in her life. Her past career choices should not even be an issue here.

alienbody 198 pts

I wonder if the same backlash would have happened if a star with an abusive history was reading...say, Chris Brown. Or, perhaps someone who's abused drugs in the past. That would probably have been o.k., since it seems that people get very star-crossed and often dismiss the faults of the famous. Except, of course, when it comes to porn. In answer to the question in the title - no, I would not have a problem with someone spreading literacy.

DeadCowGirl 6 pts

I hate that this is such a controversy. What if she was there because one of the kids was hers? Should she, because she was a porn star, not be allowed to have kids? I wonder how many of those 1st and 3rd grades learned what a porn star is after listening to their parents rant about the whole situation or after seeing a headline.

As a sex worker myself, I know that we tend to be VERY careful about exposing kids to what we do. The parents caused the damage in this situation.

lifebyjeanie.com 6 pts

People often ridicule and scorn that which they fear the most. Heaven forbid we be sensual beings. Condemning another is a way to deflect scrutiny from ourselves and try to hide our own shortcomings.

lunaraven13 10 pts

You make me so proud to be a part of this community. You all just rock. Literacy is a gift to be shared.

Kendra Holliday 7 pts

This is a no brainer. I trust Sasha Grey knows the difference between adult time and storytime. She is doing something positive for the community. Anyone complaining about a sexually active adult promoting reading and education is contributing negatively to the community. Replace the fear with love!

SandraGoldstein 8 pts

If she's a kind person and is there for the right reasons I wouldn't care what industry she used to be in. Or even if she was still in it.

LisaCashHanson 6 pts

I think everyone deserves another chance. People change every day. I wouldn't want children to know her old profession but I think reading to kids is awesome! Good for her.

WhatTheWorldNeeds 6 pts

She didn't come to the classroom dressed provactively. She read an appropriate book. End of story as far as I'm concerned. As adults we have an obligation to protect children from harm but this was not a woman out to harm anyone. She was trying to do something good for the community and she should not be repaid by a rehashing of her past.

WhitneyD 10 pts

No objections here. To those kids, she was an actress who came and read them a book (while dressed pretty darn modestly, might I add). This is another case of parents playing "won't someone please think of the children" without any consideration about what kids actually know.

I applaud her for her response- literacy is important.

But frankly, this notion that people can't change their pasts at all is disturbing (it reminded me of the teacher who'd done adult films years before and had to quit when someone found out about her past).

malackey 9 pts

There's every chance that the nice fireman that's reading to your kids is into pegging. There's every chance the soccer mom reading to your kids has been to an orgy. But no one is worried about their deviancy rubbing off on the kids, just by being near them. The children had no idea she was a porn star - and if they did, that's an indicator of issues at home, not problems with Sasha Grey.

fuckedupmommy 6 pts

malackey I was going to comment but you said it all. TY

funkydrummer 6 pts

I wonder if it were a gay porn star if there heads would explode. Kids have no idea and she is right education is what is important. Harry potter made kids read and the church was against it due to the "pagan magic" strange world and i am glad my son is a critical thinker who believes in education.

i_thought_so 7 pts

How about if all the parents who are going ballistic over this volunteer to read to the kids at school? Ummm . . . yeah, thought so.

Leighbra 10 pts

I have a feeling this is 1 of those times that parents' reactions to the actress could have a more negative affect on the children than Ms Grey's presence. The 1st time a mom in the audience pops off & I have to explain porn to my little kids, I'd be unhappy. I'm positive Sasha is beyond professional when reading to the kids.

Conversation from Facebook

Cat Morrow
Cat Morrow

A pedophile and a porn star are two totally different creatures. The porn star is engaging in LEGAL acts with someone of LEGAL age.

Cat Morrow
Cat Morrow

I'd let a current porn star read to my kids. As long as it wasn't porn she's reading I don't see why it matters. Plus I would assume shes attractive, my boys would probably pay more attention to her for that alone.

Dani Jane Phillips Stockham
Dani Jane Phillips Stockham

would you let a pedophile coach your kids?

Polish Mama on the Prairie
Polish Mama on the Prairie

Honestly, I don't know. On one hand, yeah, good for her, the kids aren't seeing her performing her (very public, paid for) acts, blah blah blah. On the other hand, ewwww! lol Is that wrong? Maybe I'm thinking that there could be better role models out there for kids reading them books. Maybe it's just annoying to me that it seems more people with questionable backgrounds go reading to kids in school than parents who give a toot and take some time out of their personal lives to go read to their kids. Like I said, I don't know. I'm torn. And regarding Amy's comment, yeah, what's going on with the skeezes dressed like that at drop off? And even dressing their own daughters like that? lol OK, it's not funny.

Lisa Woodward Harsma
Lisa Woodward Harsma

I'd be interested in seeing this question side by side with "would you let a semi-famous assistant college football coach take your ten your old to a football game?" Even better, go back in time two weeks and ask and ask again today. You don't judge a person by the surface facts.

Julie Mabee Santopietro
Julie Mabee Santopietro

I saw this post hours ago and was wondering how the comments would go. I have to admit I am surprised..I don't care either but I am surprised others don't care either.

Amy Copley Chastain
Amy Copley Chastain

Absolutely. I've seen parents dressed like street-walkers dropping their kids off at 8am. As long as she is appropriate, who cares?

Shannon Marshall
Shannon Marshall

i say good for her! and i totally wouldn't mind. i'm sure she was dressed appropriately and looked like a fine role model. none of those children probably would have ever known she was a former porn star.

Elmare Van Vuuren
Elmare Van Vuuren

Yes, what the problem ? A catholic priest, remembering their reputation might be a problem !!!!!

Michelle Mears-Gerst
Michelle Mears-Gerst

She hasn't done anything illegal.....let's celebrate her bettering her life. ...better example than all those drug addict singers and actors in mainstream hollywood....kudos to her in improving her life

Leslie Whitney
Leslie Whitney

Big deal. People freak out about stupidest things!! Our puritan heritage I guess...

Amber Messier Ortiz
Amber Messier Ortiz

Who cares about her past, she is helping literacy and not a pedofile.

Tiffiny Harmer Felix
Tiffiny Harmer Felix

So, my first reaction was, "Heck no." But after reading the comments here I've changed my mind. So now my answer is "Sure", for all the above reasons.

Suzy Aaron Riccon
Suzy Aaron Riccon

I'm with most here - what difference does it make? If we're going to start judging, im sure we can find people out there in more "acceptable" jobs whose work isn't as honest as hers.

Pam Brown Margolis
Pam Brown Margolis

As long as she's not reading porn.

Michelle Welsh Giguiere
Michelle Welsh Giguiere

I've known teachers whose personal lives people should be more worried about than a former porn star reading to their kids.

Elizabeth J White
Elizabeth J White

Sure. As long as she's not having sex in front of or discussing it with my kid, who gives a whoopdeedo. How do you know that the PTA president isn't doing something the "other people" consider odd or freaky themselves in the privacy of their own home? Plus how do you figure those kids got here in the first place? *ahem*

Jocelyn Jt Thomas
Jocelyn Jt Thomas

I also agree with Dawn and Jenn, more important things to be worried about in terms of children.

Nelle Douville
Nelle Douville

I'm wondering how many of the complaining parents also asked for her autograph.

Jenn Marie
Jenn Marie

Is she reading these books in stripper clothes and telling them to strip for tips?! No. People need to pull their heads out of their butts. There are REAL problems to be concerned about.

Sue Dudley Bolls
Sue Dudley Bolls

She is not her past and it should not define her.

Rebecca Cooper
Rebecca Cooper

Yes. She has sex on camera - big whoop. Other stars pretend to have sex on camera and some might even show just as much of themselves as she did. She's not screening one of her movies for the kids; she's promoting literacy.

Cristina Gonzalez
Cristina Gonzalez

I don't mind, the kids don't need to know her past. It doesn't matter to me.

Lee Khatchadourian-Reese
Lee Khatchadourian-Reese

I agree with Dawn!!

Nelle Douville
Nelle Douville

In other words, would I hold her former work against her? No. It is ridiculous people are miffed about her reading to children. People are goofy.

Trina Roach
Trina Roach

Did the kids even know she was a porn star -- before the parents freaked out?

CouponBlessingsNow
CouponBlessingsNow

not me....