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I've looked at a fair amount of online dating profiles that were written by males, and I've talked to men who have looked at a wide variety of female profiles. Because of this, I’ve been able to draw a very important conclusion: most of us are not very original. While there isn't anything necessarily wrong with having our words sound very similar to those of many other people, it’s also very hard to stand out.
Sometimes you get to the point where -- unless the photos or something else about the profile are truly exceptional -- seeing the same types of descriptions and over-used phrases are enough to make you close the browser tab without bothering to initiate contact.
If you want your dating profile to stand out from the masses, there are certain things that could be helpful to keep in mind:
1. Your screen name
Don’t choose a name like SexKitten or HotPants unless you’re trying to attract the kind of guy who’s drawn to that sort of description.
2. The header
This is the short tagline that appears at the top of your profile -- short, sweet and to the point. Some people say it’s important to have a catchy headline, but I’m ambivalent about this one. If you can think of something good to put up there, you should do so. As for me, I rarely pay attention to the headers on people’s profiles or notice what they say.
Lateesha at Black Cupid has tips on How to Grab Attention With Your Online Dating Profile Header.
I’ve noticed that a witty line or a philosophical quote really work as headers. This one -- “You must be over 5’10” to read this profile” is funny, yet it’s pretty obvious to others that they don’t stand a chance if they don’t meet the height requirement! Or if philosophy is more your style, use a favorite quote like “To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world” and people know you’re a romantic.
3. Photos
Having a range of photos on your profile can lessen other mistakes you might make while writing. On the flip side, you may have an awesome rockin’ profile, but if you don’t include decent photos (or God forbid, if you don’t include any photos at all), your efforts may go largely unnoticed.
You need close-ups, so people can see what you really look like (without your face being obscured by sunglasses or a hat), as well as full-body shots. It’s also a good idea to include a photo where you appear dressed-up, and also in casual clothes.
Maybe you’re going to tell me that you don’t have any photos. I understand; my roommate is thinking about joining Facebook and I’ve already told her that she needs at least one photo to use for her main profile picture. She balks; she says she doesn’t have any good ones that have been taken recently. I continue to say, you need at least one. No exceptions! I would take some for her if she was willing to let me point a camera her way.
If you don’t have photos, ask around for people who may have some of you, or ask someone you know to take new ones, or hold your digital camera at arm’s length and take one of yourself. Do whatever you need to do, just make sure they represent what you really look like (current day, or at least within the past year or two).
I’ve skipped over plenty of emails and winks from people simply because I wasn’t able to get a good look at their face. Why take the time to return their email and ask to see a better photo when there are plenty of people who have made sure they’re representing themselves the way they should?
4. Substance
You should write enough, but not too much. Your description should be at least a few paragraphs (it should look like you cared enough to make an effort), but nobody wants to scroll down and read a book. Leave some of that for when you meet the person for the first time.
5. Avoid Clichés
It’s always better to give a specific example of a character trait you possess, rather than just saying that a certain word describes you. Don’t say that you're funny; write something humorous. Don’t say that you’re kind; tell them that you volunteer your
