A Year of Childfree Holidays: A Poem

A raging headache to start the year,

From one too many an NYE beer,

The carpet a mess with confetti galore

Just pick up the phone, that’s what the maid’s for!

 

Then love is in the air on Valentine’s Day,

It’s dinner for two with no babysitter to pay,

Boxes of truffles and flutes of champagne,

No “Junior is sleeping, we better abstain”,

 

A shamrock tattoo upon my face,

Evidence of last night’s St. Patty’s disgrace,

The green beer that’d seemed like so much fun,

Now permanently staining a grass-colored tongue,

 

April flowers bring baby showers,

And take all your money away,

But never fear,

The Easter Bunny’s here,

And you can eat Cadbury all day,

 

Kicking off the 4th of July,

With illegal fireworks in the sky,

Celebrating our independence,

From being good role models for any dependents,

 

Labor Day means a day of rest,

Some extra shut-eye, a time to de-stress

No requests from the boss for silly reports,

Nor any demands to build pillow forts,

 

Halloween night means turn out the light,

And pretend nobody is home,

Or take out your nieces, and steal all their Reese’s,

And blame the kid dressed as a gnome,

 

Second helpings of turkey? Try three!

No baby weight to work off for me,

Dozing through a tryptophan haze,

Oh how I’m thankful for Childfree days,

 

‘Tis the season to be jolly,

With no one screaming they got the wrong dollie,

Christmas plane tickets for two, not four,

Means gifts for everyone, all the more!

Want to read more? Visit my blog at: www.maybebabymaybenot.com

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