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"Yes, I Had Sex With Those Women," Says Hinky, Creepy Letterman
~~”A little package was left in the back of my car…The guy said he was going to write a screenplay about me…that’s a little hinky—hinky. It was a terrifying moment, quite scary. I felt menaced. I had to tell them all of the creepy things I have done. Now of course, we get to, what was all the creepy stuff? The creepy stuff was; I had sex with women that work on the show. My answer to that is, YES, yes, I have.”—David Letterman
Laughter. Applause. Not getting it.
The audience hadn’t a clue that Letterman was revealing his dirty little secrets on late night television, or in his own words, “all the creepy things I have done.” I mean, it’s all so hinky and stinky, isn’t it? I smell something fishy.
“Yes, I had sex with those women.”
Gasp. Silence. Getting uncomfortable.
One might consider Letterman a pig, a power hungry boss, an unethical old fart, or a cheatin’ bastard, and the truth is; he probably is all of these things and much more…but at least he admits it, at least he’s honest about it, at least he confesses his creepiness. And obviously, there are pictures to prove it. God only knows the creepy things he was doing behind closed doors. One can only imagine, because would plain, ordinary, run of the mill sex, be creepy?
Um…What’s up with that?
Believe me, this is only the beginning of the story. The audience (Us) will be getting Letterman’s entire sexual history dating back from the Woodstock Era, his office romances, and his old-man-chasing-young interns around his desk stories; the media will be overflowing with every single woman he’s ever encountered since his pristine Pre-school days.
We will be hearing plenty about Stephanie Burkitt; if you don’t know who she is, well, she’s the chick living with Joe Halderman, and if you don’t know who he is, well, he’s the slimy snake that tried to blackmail Letterman for 2 million buckaroos. Whew. It’s a damn circus out there in CBS Land.
So here’s the rub. Was The CBS Late-Night Host utilizing his power in a naughty way?
I mean, this guy has mega authority at CBS; he’s the Big Chief of all of those interns and staffers and young women who are most likely young enough to be his daughters; he’s the CEO, the Dean, the Head Surgeon; he’s freaking Julius Caesar ruling the Roman Empire.
So here’s the question everybody is asking: Are Letterman’s sexual relationships with his staffers considered sexual harassment or even, god-for-bid, (say it very quietly,) rape? Is his behavior a blatant misuse of his position at the network?
A few days after the incident Letterman said this on his late night show, “"I got into the car this morning and the navigation lady wasn't speaking to me. Ouch."
Ouch, is right, Mr. Letterman. You got caught with your trousers down and your inhibitions up, but damn it, at least you’re not hiding under some rock denying your sins, at least you’re not declaring as so many others before you…
“I did not have sex with those women!”
You did. You’ve admitted it. You’ve said you’re sorry over and over again. So I guess that’s that.
But I think your wife, some staffers, a few feminists, and several other ladies; including the Navigation Lady—still want to kick your ass!
~~What do you think, readers?
