Yes, They Are Having Candy For Dinner- So What Of It?

Erin,

I totally agree.  In my world at least, there are far more parents who obsess about food than those who don't understand proper nutrition. 

I cook from scratch as often as possible and serve healthy meals.  We eat as a family.  But we also have pancakes for dinner, ice cream at the pool for lunch or a Happy Meal now and then.  Because my kids do eat healthy food and have no problem with fruits and vegetables, I have no problem lightening up.  I don't really take any aspect of parenting more seriously than it needs to be, food included.

If I had known I was the featured Slacker Parent, I would have written something more profound today.  But then, that would be totally unlike me.  :-)

Sue @ Laundry for Six ( http://www.laundryforsix.com/ )

Our have to do with both... the social and the food..sometimes. My family centers everything around what food we're eating on any given occasion. Oddly though...never 'where' we're eating it. 

So I think at my house, given how I grew up, I try to not make a big deal about food. Of course, that doesn't always happen...holidays, etc. I get crazy excited over 'what we're eating'...but on the day to day, I try. 

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain ( http://queenofspainblog.com/ )

Maybe "reward" is a better word here? 

This is not every day and not every meal. As I said, moderation. And they are thin as rails due to DNA, but thanks for calling me irresponsible and accusing my kids of being malnurished all in one day. 

I suppose you think tonight's Thai dinner will be horrible too? My kids can't wait. And frankly, neither can I. 

Yum!

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain ( http://queenofspainblog.com/ )

I won't lie, Erin -- there's a part of me that cringes a little, reading this, because I do worry about proper nutrition maybe more than I ought to. But I also love the "pick your battles" aspect here, where you've chosen not to stress about food and as a result, it's a non-issue in many ways in your house.

That said, as you noted on my post, a lot of my Type-A-ness about meals has to do with the socialization and ritual of it, rather than the food itself.

But I love that we can all unveil our proclivities on this issue and no one is right or wrong.

--
Mir Kamin
(BlogHer contributing editor)

Personal: Woulda Coulda Shoulda ( http://wouldashoulda.com/ )

Having it all with less: Want Not ( http://wantnot.net/ )

Diabetes is a gift that will keep giving then right?  Thumbs up on that one.

Skinny as rails is not great either.  Eating complexes come up from lack of a nutritional foundation and parents not paying attention to their kids needs emotionally.

There's a reason why its called desert and why any nutrionalist will laugh at you when you say that that's "breakfast" for your child.  Look at great programs like WIC that teach parents basic common sense things about nutrition.  They offer these programs to even low income families so that they might learn this behavior is not condusive to a healthy lifestyle.

You say you'd rather your children get "gifts" instead of food as treat?  You contradict yourself.  In your initial blog you say that "Having an ice cream is a 'treat' but it isn't the be all and end all of their day."   Then you change your wording to "I'd rather they got 'treats' in the form of gifts. " Make up your mind which answer you actually like. 

Food is not something to play around with.  Over indulgence is horrible.  So is the opposite end of the coin.  I also don't believe in matierialism.  If I feel my children should have something and have earned it, they will get it.. but only if it's something I approve of weather its video games, desserts (after they have eatten a healthy meal or ice cream after playing outside all day), or anything else.  I will not be raising ungrateful children who have no idea how to be responsible in something as basic as a diet.  It leaks into other aspects of their lives. 

We could go round and round here.  "Breakfast of Champions" indeed... until that Twinkie catches up with them or that deep fried pickle.  Worst parenting advice I've heard in awhile but thank you for the giggle this morning. 

And then ate it for breakfast and didn't let my daughter have any of it. Because pie is bad for you.

I'm just looking out for her interests.

http://www.backpackingdad.com

I am a mother. I say yes and I say no. Its not a total free for all over here. But I'm refusing to raise my kids with a stick up my ass when it comes to food. Tonight we're having thai. My kids LOVE mushroom soup and asked for it for dinner this week. Then I'll let them have some sticky rice and mango. My son will eat the entire mango and my daughter will eat all the rice. 

We'll probably sit at the table for the soup since it's messy, but we might watch a movie and eat the rice. We cuddle while we're doing it too.

If that's unhealthy, then I'm the unhealthiest happy mom ever. 

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain ( http://queenofspainblog.com/ )

and my kids choose to eat straight from it daily ...

They know what's healthy and what isn't. They know they can't just eat all junk. And I've taught them this without giving them issues. 

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain ( http://queenofspainblog.com/ )

its great your kids like all the non kid foods, and hey i like cake for breakfast but i agree with scandalous... were serving our kids a helping of health problems to come on the side... i think convenience is what is killing us and i for one love my family sit down dinners we have a lot of fun, i even peed my pants during one. food is great! love to eat it cook it grow it look at it, having  a healthy attitude just begins at home period...do you know how long your kids get to eat at school? 15 to 20 minutes it takes longer than that to realize you are full! whatev, i just saw what diabetes did to my dad and grandpa and well i just dont want that for my kids.....

Studies show that if you don't stress about food your kids will not.  They also show that if you allow your child to develop their awareness of foods they will eat what their bodies need.  This seems to be indicated in the above when the kids ask go to the refrigerator to eat broccoli.  They aren't forced to choose nor are they limited; they do that based on their tastes/needs.

If we would all pay more attention to our bodies, we would not be overweight.  Our bodies tell us we need exercise and nutrition.  Rather than banning foods or making certain foods taboo, we need to be doing things to encourage kids to get up and move. Unfortunately, they used to be required to have an activity period all the way through high school.  Budget cuts have removed those.  Parents are busy and kids sit in front of a tv. Day cares also use tv because it is easier to sit kids in front of a tv rather than monitor them on a playground.

No parent is perfect.  We just need to, like the above says, balance everything and do the best we can.  Sounds like QueenofSpain is exposing her children to a variety of foods without demonizing any.  They will be better for it even if they do occasionally choose to have candy.  I have seen in previous posts where she has them outside, in activities, and even family activity time.  Sounds balanced to me.

It has fruit. What more can you want?

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain ( http://queenofspainblog.com/ )

I realize this may come as a shock to you, but food is not an issue for my kids. They are thin as rails and healthy as horses. 

As I said, everything in moderation. With ice pops for breakfast tempered with turkey meatballs and whole wheat pasta for dinner. 

As for calling me irresponsible, how about those parents that give their kids complexes over food? I hate food as a treat. Makes it something they want more than they should. I'd rather they got 'treats' in the form of gifts. 

My kids eat fine and, shockingly, get their proper nutrients. All with out the pomp, circumstance, or complexes. 

My children don't drink pop (which is an adult drink because it has caffeine) which I really think is a bigger cause for obesity in this country than a few twizzlers with lunch. 

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain ( http://queenofspainblog.com/ )

There is an obesity problem in schools now.  There has been for years.  American children do not understand dietary demands.  It is the responsibility of the parent to teach them.  They have their 20s-30s to imbibe on gluttony... why start the process sooner unless its for a short lesson?

My ex and I had an experiment with my older stepsons when they were middle age- about 10 and 15 respectively.  For one weekend we let them eat whatever they liked junk food wise, but that was all we would serve them.  For 3 days they ate nothing but ice cream and candy.  By dinner of the 3rd day we asked them if they wanted more ice cream or candy for dinner.  Both of them immediately said NO WAY!  And since, rarely ask for either.

While I agree, moderation is key, there is a HUGE difference between moderating a child's diet with occassional sweets and the like (my children usually they get fruit before anything else is even thought of) , and just being downright irresponsible and letting your kids eat freezepops for breakfast or twizzlers as a side dish with an actual healthy meal.  These negate eachother as healthy foods. 

It is a sign of laziness.  It is beyond slacking.  It is.. common sense which seems to be lacking in many American households.

Sure we may not have liked it when our parents piled on vegetables to our plates, or told us "no salt" on our food, or that we'd have to drink a glass of milk before we could have anything else to drink with our meal.. but it was important.  It IS important.  It is JUST as important as sitting down at a table and having dinner with the family- free from all digital distractions including a television and just eating and enjoying eachother's company.

There are reasons why our parents and our grandparents did these things.  They are the building blocks to a solid foundation.  And while my children may joke around and laugh about how someone else's parent lets them do it, they know that when they get such treats, they are just that... treats.

I remember seeing a commercial awhile back that had a child asking for these things and then the child asked "Mom can I have some diabetes?"  So while my children may not always care for the fact that other moms out there are giving them food like this, they will be healthier and thankful for it when they realize later on and they're not stuck on a treadmill or stuffing diet pills down their throat or having to shoot insulin up that perhaps some of their mom's old fashioned values may be right.

Pie is the breakfast of champions and it's totally not unprecedented. Quiche = pie with fancy name.

Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca/ ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca/ ).

Heh. I'm totally slacker mom here.

We went to Baker's Square for breakfast on Sunday and I told Liz she could totally have a slice of pie if that's what she wanted. So she ordered some chocolate cream pie plus a side of bacon. TW's mom pursed her lips. Heh.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )