#YesAllWomen: Abortion, Rape and Why Shame Can't Keep Us Silent

If yes is taken, you don't have to lose yourself for as long as I did. The taking--one moment--does not have to define you. You define yourself as a survivor. You define yourself as wise and as someone who will no longer be a victim. 
Rather than sit in judgment and perpetuate shame so deep that abortion and rape remain secrets, how about we have an open discussion about the morality, history and prevalence of rape and why mothers must have an out. And by the way, rape #3 was by a "good" Luteran boy, who probably didn't give it another thought, let alone feel compelled to confess about it.

No more silence. And no more apologies. Yes, I understand there are two sides to every story, and there are many men who have been deeply hurt and wounded by callous women. I'm sure I will observe this heartbreak as my son grows into a man, and I will want to throttle those women who hurt my baby. But my husband and I are teaching our son to respect women and himself, and to be able to look himself in a mirror. We are teaching our son to respect others' choices, to respect and honor a woman's no and to celebrate and be grateful and proceed only when she says yes, even as he prepares to accept and respect no if she changes her mind. 

Here's a campaign to teach our sons to become better men than far too many who have come before: #RealMenWait4YES. And girls, please be kind and respectful when you say no to my son. Boys have feelings, too.


My Grandfather's Table is my memoir in progress which seeks to examine how empowering himself to be well and choosing a positive attitude every day allowed my grandfather to live to 100, and how his legacy is helping me learn to forgive myself, to love myself through food instead of punish myself through food, and live an empowered, positive, inspiring life as he did, despite life's difficulties. 



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