A Letter to Our Child: You Were Not Our Second Choice

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You were always part of our family plan.

And as life has probably already taught you, life takes our “plans” and laughs at them. We are thrown challenges, changes, and so many curve-balls. Our well thought out plans become nothing but memories.

Things that we believe to be true are not. Things that seem easy can become so very hard.

Life is like that.

So often it gives us what we need, instead of what we believe we need. Those two things aren’t always different, but they are sometimes.

For example, we didn’t know that you would come to us first.

But we always knew you would come to us. That someday, our paths would cross and all of our lives would be forever changed.

I don’t know what it’s so important for you to know this, whoever you are, wherever you are -- but my heart needs your heart to understand that you are not our consolation prize. Adopting you is not a solution to our own infertility. You are not plan B.

You are not our second choice.

We just didn’t know that you would come to us now, at this time. We thought it would be later.

But it’s not. And isn’t that wonderful?

Life is bringing us all one step closer to each other as we speak.

And when we meet -- when your footsteps are running down the stairs in the morning, when it is your laugh echoing through this house, when it is you playing with our dog, and when yours is the hand I hold on the way to the bus stop -- please know that your presence in our life was planned from the very beginning.

Not Second Choice
Credit: Damian Gadal.

We know that it won’t be an easy journey. That this will be a huge change, and challenge for all of us. However, rest assured, that our family is one worth fighting for. And things that challenge us are the things that make us stronger, better, more capable.

The best things in life are often the things that don’t come easy.

And now that we’re on this path to you?

We can’t wait.

But we will -- and it will be totally worth it.

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