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Stacy is an editor, writer, author, mother, blogger and former magazine editor. But her fancy title is editor in chief of BlogHer.com.
 
 
 
 

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You Can Save A Woman's Life With Your Words

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As bloggers, readers and writers, we all know how to use our words, so to speak. We can write to uplift, to make people laugh, to share pain, to support, to befriend, to make a connection, share news, urge action.

But did you know your words on your blog could save a woman's life? By reaching out with a message and pathways to help at a moment she most needs to receive it?

As a magazine editor for many years, I have seen the power of using my words to reach out to women who are suffering through an abusive relationship. For 15 years, I have worked with the amazing team at Liz Claiborne, Inc.—the company behind Love Is Not Abuse, as well as a major funder of the two primary relationship abuse hotlines (for women and for teenagers,) to share information about abuse, provide help, and most importantly just to TALK ABOUT IT, to bring it into the light and lift the veil of secrecy and shame. Just doing that can show other women that there is an entire COMMUNITY of people who understand, who have no judgment and who want to help.

Word Power

Credit Image:jma.work via Flickr

That's a pretty powerful possibility, isn't it? Well, next Thursday, December 8, is the Seventh Annual It's Time To Talk Day, a day that is dedicated to just this one goal: to start and continue conversations about relationship abuse, domestic violence, and emotional abuse, to join together in making an effort to raise awareness and reverse the humbling statistics:

  • 1 in 3 women will be in an abusive relationship in her lifetime.
  • On average, more than three women a day are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in the United States.
  • Teenage girls are reporting dating abuse at rates higher than women, which makes them the most at-risk group for abuse in America.
  • One in five tweens—ages 11 to 14—say their friends are victims of emotional, physical or verbal dating violence.

Don't be paralyzed by these statistics. Know that the best action any of us can take is to talk about it: with our friends, our sisters, our daughters, our bosses or employees. So please, join BlogHer and Liz Claiborne Inc. and LoveIsNotAbuse.com ON DECEMBER 8 to help women everywhere know that this is not their fault, they are not to blame, and that all of us care about them and believe they deserve love that does not hurt.

Here's how to join in to this conversation:

  • •Commit to writing about relationship abuse on December 8, and share the link to your post in the comments of my post kicking off It's Time To Talk Day here on BlogHer.com on December 8.
  • Have a conversation with a friend, sister, daughter, son or husband about how pervasive relationship abuse is and how it disproportionately affects women. Help them understand that it is not a "choice" of "leaving" or "staying," but a systematic takedown of a person's self-esteem and sense of worth that leaves her believing no one will care. That the perpetrators of abuse need help and attention, too. That no one wants to be in an abusive relationship.
  • Run a link to the post on BlogHer.com that will run December 8, written by Violence Unsilenced's Maggie Ginsberg Shutz, who launched a site for speaking out and healing, where men and women can anonymously or publicly share their stories of survival.
  • Simply run a notice on your site that says the following: "LOVE SHOULD NOT HURT. If you are a victim of relationship abuse, know two things: It is not your fault. And there are people who want to help you." And include links and phone numbers to the hotlines, which you can find for your post on Violence Unsilenced or Love Is Not Abuse or the Domestic Violence Hotline or Futures Without Violence or one of many other sites whose sole purpose is to reach out and help when someone needs it most.
  • Thank you for caring. Thank you for considering taking part in this important day and important conversation. Thank you for daring to take the time to USE YOUR WORDS to help those who need help the most. Here's to women, and our endless reserves of resilience and compassion. Let's shine it out there for all to see on December 8, and help change some lives. Because It Is Time To Talk About It.
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MotherX 9 pts

Your post inspired me to send the link to a range of women in my life who have survived abuse in one form or another. Thank you again for your work to cultivate dialogue!

elaineR.N. 203 pts

First, welcome to Blogher! Also, glad you wrote about Violence Unsilenced, as it increases awareness of this very important issue. I am looking forward to reading more of your posts.

My post: http://www.blogher.com/december-8-violence-unsilen...

jennib33 5 pts

Does anyone know how to listen to the broadcast from today?

Mama By The Bay 6 pts

After working as a Domestic Violence Counselor for the police department, I wanted to honor the brave women that have worked so hard to rebuild their lives. My post talks about what happens AFTER they leave. http://mamabythebay.com/2011/12/08/love-is-not-abu...

Alycia Estok 9 pts

I thought I had posted my link here, but I guess I did not.

http://alyciaestok.com

Thank you for providing this spot. Thank you for encouraging the silence to be broken.

deila 6 pts

I'm reading a biography about Doris Day, and her first marriage was to an abusive man -- physical and verbal. Read my thoughts here

http://www.eveoutofthegarden.com/2011/12/doris-day...

Nae's Nest 6 pts

The magic of writing is having the ability to paint with your words and reach the soul.

DefyAllLogic 5 pts

I wrote about how women in post apocalypse settings are often seen as commdties to be used and a strong woman is so anomalous it normalizes weakness. http://incaseofsurvival.com/2011/12/08/women-worth...

Stacy Morrison 20 pts

DefyAllLogic All interesting points! Women's power is so often tied to her sexuality (as the photo you picked shows!): so when we are "strong" Hollywood-style, we are still that sexualized creature. Thank you for your perspective!

Alexandra Bartologimignano 5 pts

I have grown women friends who seem to end up with the wrong men-! Here are a couple of experiences: http://www.destinationsdreamsanddogs.com/friends-w... (I can only imagine the teens who "don't get it".)

Stacy Morrison 20 pts

Alexandra Bartologimignano With the statistics being that 1 in 3 women will be abused in her lifetime, it's not a surprise you have these two stories to tell. Thank you for raising your voice and for being there to help the friends in your life who have struggled.

Stacy Morrison 20 pts

@DoTheseKidsMakeMeLookCrazy Truly beautiful post. A must-read. Thank you for taking part and using your voice to help other women.

MotherX 9 pts

Your post has me thinking about "invisible" abuse--emotional and psychological abuse--that can leave permanent "bruises" no one sees... Thank you for your amazing, ongoing work to increase awareness and encourage people to TALK about their lives and experiences.

Stacy Morrison 20 pts

MotherX Amen. If we talk about the darkness in life, it inevitably ushers in the light. Thank you!

SinceMyDivorce 6 pts

Hi Stacy, My blog is a collection of stories from women about life after divorce. Coincidentally, the story I'm posting right now involves an abusive situation. I'll definitely post something on December 8.

Stacy Morrison 20 pts

SinceMyDivorce Thank you for participating! It makes a difference.

elaineR.N. 203 pts

I am with you. I recently posted a blog in October, since that is domestic violence abuse month and will write more on December 8. Thank you and Liz Claiborne inc for raising awareness on this very important issue.

Stacy Morrison 20 pts

elaineR.N. Thank you so much. Reminding people that this is an everyday topic, and that we can help people understand that love is not abuse, has so much potential to change people's lives.

therobotmommy 7 pts

I'll be creating a post. I want to share if it means I help one person.

Stacy Morrison 20 pts

therobotmommy Thank you, thank you. I have been doing this work for years and years, and it is truly amazing how sometimes the smallest ray of light lets someone know that they can be free of abuse.

Nancy Hill 14 pts

I will write something about my abuse experience within a few days because of this post. Great reminder that just because I'm working on a memoir doesn't mean I can't share bits of my story independent of the whole enchilada. Thanks.

Stacy Morrison 20 pts

Nancy Hill That is fantastic support. It's important for women who might be struggling to see that you CAN and DO get to the other side and get to SAFE. Thank you! Be sure to share the link and I will promote, too.

Wander 9 pts

I wrote about a form of abuse today on my blog. Teen cutters.
I'd never experienced such an encounter. It has changed my world. Still processing it.

Stacy Morrison 20 pts

Wander Yes, it's a big thing to process, but understanding it--and being unafraid to talk about it--will help everyone who struggles and relieves their anxiety, fear and pain that way.