Laurie
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not just about cancer
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Laurie Kingston was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006 and decided to create a blog about it. She continued writing when the cancer spread to her liver and past the point when it disappeared. Her blog is the basis for a very candid, moving, and often very funny book about a mother, lover, and angry cancer activist who continues with treatment as she continues to find a great deal to enjoy in life. Laurie lives and writes in Ottawa.
 
 
 
 

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You Can't Cheat Death By Smiling

September 07, 2011 7:37 am by Denise in Health
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[Editor's Note: Laurie's post touches on a lot of different aspects of battling cancer -- a positive outlook can only do so much, and in the end sometimes it comes down to "you get cancer and die", it's not about losing a battle and it's not something that can be changed by smiling a little more or fighting a little harder. I look forward to your thoughts on Laurie's post. - Denise]

smiling sunshine

In many ways, cancer is a crap shoot. It helps to have excellent medical care, good nutrition and the resources that help you cope with the disease and the treatments' side effects. But luck plays a big role in survival as well.

Read more from smiling can't cheat death at not just about cancer

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laurie
laurie 5 pts

And grouch? Loved your story about Ed and the teeth. What a great family you have.

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A Morning Grouch
A Morning Grouch 5 pts

My great-grandfather recently died of cancer. He was one of the most positive, happy-go-lucky, people I have ever known. I think when people say one should keep a positive attitude, implying that this alone could cure them of whatever ailment impacts them, is like a slap in the face. Clearly, I understand the importance of maintaining a positive outlook so one can advocate for the best care and keep stress levels as low as possible, however there is a point at which optimism and treatment cannot override DNA mutations. Sometimes, nothing more can be done. And that is nature.

My ode to my great-grandfather can be found here (warning, I have a slightly warped sense of humor): http://wp.me/p1N5Cq-2l

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laurie
laurie 5 pts

I love how thoughtful each of your answers are. Tricia, I respect your difference of opinion as to "losing the battle" and what that means. I'm really sorry for your loss - it sounds like you and your friend were lucky to know each other

I'm pleased to that so many people are connecting with the idea that while being positive helps with the struggle (and just generally makes life easier) - implying that some succumbs to cancer because they weren't positive enough is highly problematic. "Positive thinking" should never be used as a bludgeon.

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Conversation from Facebook

Vicky Farrell
Vicky Farrell

The two woman i know who had it...my mother..she began dying the minute the docter told her..and my bff..began living when the docter told her... trying everything with a happy heart..cancer's are as unique as the people who get it. and def. crap shoot.

Tracey Croughwell Saenz
Tracey Croughwell Saenz

Susan Sontag has written quite a bit on the subject... Recommended reading.

Eleanore Wells
Eleanore Wells

I, too, think cancer is a mostly a crapshoot. And I love the phrase "tyranny of positive thinking". In all aspects of late, "those people" make my eyes glaze over.
-The Spinsterlicious Life

Carol Cassara
Carol Cassara

I agree with her. Blaming the victim's too big a past-time. I do believe that negative energy and the resulting stress play a role in how the body reacts to invaders like cancer cells, though. I think we're just at the start of learning more about this. And I do believe that some people battle hard. I know some who did. But it is often a crapshoot. I hope she is one of the lucky ones.

Tricia Smith Boutelle
Tricia Smith Boutelle

I am not, and have never been a cancer patient. Obviously that means that I have an outside perspective. However, I have watched a dear friend battle, as in fight with every ounce of his strength and indeed lose his very short battle with a very aggressive cancer. There is and shall never be a tone of criticism in the statement "he lost his battle with cancer". It is a fact. He fought to live, harder than anyone I have ever known. He died. Same fact. He will always be remembered, by many, many people as THE most loving, positive, and kind person that those individuals have ever known. He lost his battle. That does not imply failure or weakness, but make no mistake. The cancer beat him.