You Might Be a Two-Year-Old If....

two-year-oldTwo-year-olds, they are straight comedy. They’re equal parts copy cat and coming into their own understanding of the world. So they regularly do and say things that just make you want to laugh and cry at the same time. Here is my current list of “You Might Be a Two-Year-Old if”….

1. You say “I’m ready to get up now.” When you never actually went down.

2. “No, let me do it,” is your favorite phrase, especially when scaling large and scary-dangerous looking climbing structures at the park.

3. You copy every word your older sibling says. Including the not-so-desirable ones like poopie, fart and breasts.

4. You say, “Mommy I want to tell you something.” “Yes?” (Mommy). (Two-Year-Old) “Blah, Blah, birthday. Blah Blah. cupcake. Blah, Blah, Blah, and then. Blah, Blah, and so.”

5. You are a self-appointed vegan. Except you won’t consume anything that is the color green, purple, orange or red. But do eat all things fried and sugary.

6. You think fruit snacks are actually made of fruit.

7. When asked, “Did you have a poop?” You boldly pronounce, “NO!” and then proceed to walk around with a huge lump in your pull-up that smells like something died in your pants.

8. You wake up before the sun. Even on weekends!

9. You’re afraid of the sounds every electrical machine (vacuum, blender, coffee grinder) makes and at the same time want to push the buttons. Which is near impossible since both of your hands are covering your ears.

10. You always talk at a very loud volume (all the time and in public) especially if it means out talking your big brother.

11. You can navigate an iPad, iPhone and occasionally try to navigate the flat screen TV.

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