You Should Be Doing Something With Your Mom, Ingrate. And Other News

You know, its Saturday.  Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.  And here you are, sitting in front of your mobile device, about to just lollygag around reading the finest of fluff food articles that the web has to offer (curated by yours truly).  Have you even picked out your card?  Did you get her favorite trinket gift wrapped?  You do have brunch reservations, right?

No, its cool.  She just fed you for years with little complaint.  I mean, she didn’t technically have to do the “Here comes the airplane!!” thing with those mushy peas until you could figure out how to shovel them onto your own face.  She also could have just told you to suck it up and save some cash when you had to have that one specific cool brand of chips in your lunchbox.  Mom didn’t say anything when you went through that phase when you refused to eat anything colorful/plain/spicy/unseasoned/crunchy/soft/hot/cold/sweet/bitter/sour/”ethnic”.  Most certainly she was not required to clean up piles of forgotten dishes, trails of crumbs, crusts of pizzas or piles of wrappers for all those years.  Nope.

Might I also remind you that no parent willingly goes to a theme restaurant?  Those menus are designed for you, bucko.

Go.  Right now, buster.  We’ll be here when you lock down your plans.  But first, come here.  You have a little smudge on your face, lemme just wipe it off.

Attention industrial design majors!  Invent no slosh coffee cups with a slick euro look!  (Delish)

Oddly, all the bad stuff turned out to be the least bacterial.  (Huffington Post)

The pretzelnator.  (Foodista)

Facebook BFF us!  Please!

Okay, regardless, this on my dinner plate kind of scares me.  (Huffington Post)

Ew.  (Eater)

Clearly this guy has an eating disorder. (Delish)

This must be a joke. You try force feeding a chicken a pair of pliers and see where it gets you.  (Huffington Post)

You like to stay on point.  Check us our on Pinterest, futuretrender.

Who doesn’t want to pound it quick before the pizza guy leaves?  (Eater)

Hi, I’m a vanillaholic.  (The Nibble)

So Jim Breuer isn’t that funny, but I could easily blow Kobayashi out of the water by 7:59.  (Huffington Post)

Pig stink.  (Delish)

Want to follow me real fast before I leave?

This guy offered to be an effective lizard mule after the fact.  (Huffington Post)

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