The reason why I planned on one biochild is that I chose (and please note I said "I chose" and did not write "everyone should chose"):

To lessen my environmental footprint on the planet by having only one child.

Then, I ended up marrying a guy with five kids. Whaddaya gonna do?

Grace Davis
Old School Ecologist
And, Contributing Editor
State of Grace

Mostly I do things for blog ad revenue. Since this "new baby" market seems oversaturated, I will have to go with my second choice, "third arm."

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Your Pop Culture Librarian also writes almost daily at I, Asshole.

By the time I gave birth to my daughter (one month shy of my 40th birthday), I'd already had several years of dealing with fertility issues, so the question of having another one boiled down to, "Is this even possible?" or "Do I want to go to the necessary lengths to make it possible?" I was painfully aware that the longer I waited, the less possible it would be, but also did not want to have two children too close together.

So we decided that if it was going to happen, it would. (The one successful pregnancy we'd had came about WITHOUT outside help, so that did not seem impossible). And it didn't happen.

So now we have a complete family with one, beautiful, perfect, amazing 11-year-old daughter. Yes, I sometimes wish we'd had more and I still get that ache when I meet someone with a happy baby or toddler. I've even thought about adoption before I come to my senses and remember that our lives are pretty good the way they are. I'll have to wait for grandkids to satisfy that baby ache (in about 15 or 20 years, I hope!)

I'm expecting my second in April. My husband and I are frightend out of our minds, since our first has the energy of race horse. I still wonder, why we're doing it (other than the pregnancy was kind of a surprise), but among the top reasons are that our son definetly needs another person in the household besides us--he's soooo socially demanding, and frankly we're exhasted. So we're hoping this second boy will, eventually be a good buddy. But were defnetly stopping at two.

Blog Mama
http://www.gratitude365.blogspot.com/

We have one, absolutely perfect (of course) 9 year-old daughter. We LOVE having only one child. As very independent people, it makes it easier for us to maintain our own individual hobbies and still focus on parenting and our marriage. There are people who have felt the need to tell us that we are selfish. I'm not sure what that means. We are selfish because we chose to be happy people rather than stressed out people? we chose to be fulfilled personally so that we can bring that back to our family? it's an odd notion. we choose to look at it as being keenly aware of our boundaries and creating a life that works for us.

for others, the more the merrier, but not for us.

our daughter has two very happy and fulfilled parents who adore her completely. it's working.

resolute about our decision, we both got "fixed," in order to avoid an unexpected pregnancy. at the time, our doctor - who knew us very well - asked if we were sure that we weren't' going to want more children. we both said, "no." and he looked puzzled. it's entirely possible that we will want more kids some day. (not likely, but possible.) in that case, there are thousands of them, all over the world, who need and want a loving home. just so happens, we have one of those, so we went ahead.

people get to decide how their family should be shaped. some of us are great parents to one, others can be great parents to many. (i think i'd suck at that.) some people shouldn't have any at all. as with most things in life, there's no right answer.

although, right now, ONE is right for US.
___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com

We have two beautiful, active, IMperfect children who keep me running, and I am expecting another at New Years.

Am I sure I can handle three? Nope. Scared. Praying about it. Am I sure I want three? Yes. Absolutely. Maybe once I get my bearings, I'll even think about a fourth.

I don't believe there is ever a perfect kid, mom, family, or number. And I am ok with the chaos that will occassionally drive us crazy. My kids don't have to get everything they want, as long as they know they are loved and accepted by all the rest of us.

Someone once told me they would feel too awful if they couldn't be at both their kids school and sports events each and every time, and a third might make it too hard to always be there. I see it differently. My kids might have a parent miss something every now and then. But sometimes they will have ALL 4 or 5 of us there supporting them, cheering for them, calling their name.

I guess some of us like being part of a clan.

As soon as I had my first and only baby, I got the question, "So are you going to have another?" And "Is this your *first * baby?" Then after my brief answer, an unsolicited opinion would fire back, "Don't you want your child to have a sibling or did you have siblings or Only One??" One even said, "You'll change your mind" as if she was in control of my decisions.

This would light a fire in me like you would not believe. Perhaps I should have bent their ear for a half hour about how medically miserable I was being pregnant and how I had a life-threatening illness right afterward for months. Or that finally a year later I feel somewhat normal again. But no, I keep it all to myself and mention that one for now will do and perhaps adoption but only perhaps. Sure it would be nice to have a baby-producing body and have two still I'm happy with one beautiful healthy little one.

The bottom line: Never ever comment about the number of children one has or has not - you never know what they have gone through or how life has played out for them.

As mom of five, I can only say that it gets richer as they get older. My generation is older than most posters here; I'm a boomer, from a family of 13. So five seemed like a small family.

Easy? No. Rewarding? immeasurably. We are now into the grandchildren phase and it just gets better. Being a parent (or grandparent with live-in grandchildren) is not easy, and there are times when you feel like your own life is on hold.

Still, there is nothing like being able to help a grandson through a hard spot in adolescence, and watching a son navigate a difficult patch in a marriage while you offer support and guidance and see him making difficult but necessary choices.

Ecological footprint? I have to admit my family has a large one--my parents had 36 grandchildren. Ethical footprint? Even larger as we all have tried to raise children who contribute to society. All of them work, all contribute in some way. Many are veterans; some are teachers or social workers; all are there when their family needs them to help.

I will not say everyone should have children, or more than one or two children. For me, it has been an incredible journey and I would not change one part of it. For those who elect to have no children or one child, bless you. You are doing what is right for you.

Granny Sue
Stories from the Mountains and Beyond
www.grannysu.blogspot.com
susannaholstein@yahoo.com