You Wouldn't Guess This About Me, Would You?
On a dare from my buddy Linda Anselmi, who has already risen to Suzie Ivy aka Bad Luck Detective's challenge on her own blog, I am sharing a list of ten things you might not guess about me, since I strike people as pretty earnest. They should only know how much I love defying expectations and being surprised by something new. Here is the photographic evidence of behavior number one:
...graceful as ever...
Hubby and I had a blast. We got water in places I didn't even know you could get water...
2. I do a great Bruce Springsteen imitation; second only to my imitation of Cousin It (then again, I too, have a lot of hair on my head).
3. I like boy movies. Die Hard. Bond. Big stunts. Fast action. Loud crashes. And let us not forget Aliens -- the ultimate girl movie, or archetypal mother movie. If I could have been anyone, I wanted to be Ripley... I also cry at my favorite mushyfilms: Love Actually (pretty much a blubberfest from the beginning), Sense and Sensibility (I was going to blow up the screen if Miss Dashwood didn't get a happy ending) and Wall-E (if you don't fall in love with him in the first 5 minutes of this flick, you have no heart!)
4. My home used to look like an arts and crafts pavillion. I was big on needlepoint, petit point, rug making, knitting, collage -- and wishing boxes (you'll have to figure out what those are for yourself).
5. I wanted to be a rock star and would pretend I was Jimmy Page -- yes, I played a mean air guitar in high school. Actually, I also played classical guitar and was one of a group of girls who played and sang The Canticle/Scarborough Fair at our graduation from Hunter College High School in New York.
6. I used to do corporate presentations for Fortune 500 companies and made a bunch of dough talking about High Speed Ethernets, T-1 lines and fancy-schmancy software applications. No, I had no idea what I was talking about -- but nobody could read a teleprompter like me...
7. I fell headfirst into an empty bathtub at age nine. Which might explain a lot.
8. I wrote and produced a 5-minute short called "She's Gotta Have that Frozen Yoghurt" which I co-starred in with Jeremy Renner. Yes, he was the cute young guy behind the counter and I was the customer (with big hair) who drove him nuts while I sampled every single flavor. Come to think of it, that was probably Jeremy's launching pad to his two well-deserved Oscar nominations! :)
9. My husband and I like to call our friends and pretend we are Elvis and Marilyn when we sing "Happy Birthday" to them. Our cat just yawns in disgust and walks away.
10. I make the world's best rice. Don't laugh. It's not as easy as it sounds.
Okay. A bonus round...
11. Four times, I saved the life of a fish (no, not the same one). We have a raised koi pond out back and sometimes the koi inadvertently leap out and jump to their deaths. Well, they try anyway. The first time it happened, we saw the little guy lying on the ground. Flies had landed on him! My hubby was so crestfallen, but the koi's mouth was still moving ever so slightly. All of the color had not yet gone out of him and I said "Not on my watch!" ...Just call me Necromancer!
I called the aquarium store right away. The man said you have to put him back in the water, gently support him under the body and make him swim backwards, forcing oxygen into his gills. I plunged my arms into the icy water and dragged him around to and fro, until he started to swim around by himself.
I find that about ninety minutes of determined, gentle dragging (and lots of side coaching) usually does it...
The koi get annoyed as hell, but at least they are all still alive to tell about it.
Anita Finlay is the author of Dirty Words on Clean Skin: Sexism and Sabotage, a Hillary Supporter's Rude Awakening, available on Amazon in print and kindle editions.
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