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It's that time of year again that many parents dread. What will crazy Aunt Irene grace us with this year? A singing trout? Lead-dipped whistles? What is the hot toy that will cause parents to storm toy store aisles and spend way too much on eBay?
My personal holiday albatross was always cat stuff. Just because a person comes to own four cats in college (these things happen) does not mean they need every cat calendar, pair of hilarz cat socks, and "humorous" cat book under the (slightly fur-covered) sun. Sometimes I still get cat stuff from people I've known forever. Nowadays I keep my one remaining cat a deep, dark secret.
As I was flipping through top ten lists of the hottest toys I started to wonder about your disasters. What are the gifts you should not have given to others, or gifts you never should have received? Have you ever given a revenge present? I confess that after I had a falling out with my former sister-in-law her child received Baby's First Drum Set (Now with 50% More Sound Effects and Unremovable Batteries!). Oh, and the drum set did not just quietly get put aside. Oh, noo. The drum set was lovingly removed by her auntie (me) and set up so she would not forget about it when the family gathering was over! It was a smashing success. (Rimshot!)
Blogger Charlie Hatton talks about being ill as a child on Christmas and receiving a well-intentioned present that did not turn out as everyone expected:
But when I saw the gift, the very thing I'd asked for, I lit up like a Christmas tree. A coughing Christmas tree, with a high fever and a throbbing headache, but boy, when the hacking subsided, I was still a happy kid. My parents, pleased with the results of their subterfuge, patted me on the head and left me with my new electronic friend. And I fired that puppy up to put her through her paces. That's when things went terribly wrong.
You have to read how this one comes out--it's a funny story.
Sunshine writes about the worst gift she's ever been given: an air tank. Wha? I love what one of her commenters, Karen, adds, "I don't mean to be dumb, but what does one do with an air tank? What is the purpose of such a contraption?"
Amen to that.
On a message board I belong to, Uppity Women, we were telling stories about bad presents. Finally, one bad present, given to the now-married couple by the bride's mother, utterly won the thread.
I have been given permission to post this so....
As my wife has mentioned, her mom is spectacular at giving bad gifts (and yet, somehow, gets them right sometimes). There is even a tradition in their family to give really. really crappy joke presents e.g. a wrapped fish, or dime-store novels etc. However, she really outdid herself at one of the very first Christmas' I spent there - this is before we were married. Just look at this: http://www.kokigami.com/.
I really had no idea what to say or do. The parental units just laughed and laughed and laughed, while my wife's siblings (all of whom were under 18) looked confused.
I think, looking back, that my whole relationship with my mother-in-law was set by that gift.
Kokigami, is, of course, little origami suits for one's penis. PEEN ORIGAMI. What an amazing message to send a future son-in-law. Is that a twisted sense of humor at play, or an indication she thought her s-i-l would bore the pants off (ho ho) her daughter?
It's fun to laugh later about what you get from well-meaning people, but I like what V has to say about accepting gifts graciously:
When I was but a wee tot, I received a pair of hand knitted gloves with a matching scarf and hat from my Aunt Ethel on my 7th birthday. I snidely informed her that her present was ‘sorta ugly’ before I moved on to my next gift. That night, when the party ended, my Father took every present I had and locked them up in a closet. He told me that if I couldn’t accept a gift politely and with poise, then I didn’t deserve to have them. He left them in that closet for a
