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The Mouthy Housewives are Kelcey Kintner, Wendi Aarons, Marinka, Kristine, and Tonya Vernooy. Together, they've been neglecting our familes to give y...
 
 
 
 

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Put Down the Gloves, Mama Bear

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Dear Mouthy Housewives,

Recently, my 4-year-old son was at a party when one of the kids got in his face and told my son he would shoot him in the face and kick his head off his body!! Needless to say my son came to me immediately sobbing. I comforted him and told him not to listen to the other little boy but later that night, he woke up with nightmares about it.

Now I'm angry and not quite sure what to do about it. The little offender's mom is not a friend of mine but we do share a lot of friends in common and they live close by so we will have to see them.

Frankly, I want to tell my son to punch that little brat in the face if it ever happens again but I know that's not the mature, correct response. Also the parents are extremely uninvolved as parents so I'm not sure talking to them would do any good. Not to mention they believe their child is a genius and an angel while I'm pretty sure he's more Charles Manson.

Signed,
Can I Punch the Mom?

___________________________________

hang 'em up

Dear Can I Punch the Mom,

You could set up a makeshift boxing ring and invite the other mom over to duke it out but I'm sure you are a whole lot prettier without two black eyes and facial swelling. So let's keep this non-violent and avoid a neighborhood fight club. (Although if you do go that route, I wouldn't mind a heads up because life in the suburbs can get a trifle boring and this would really jazz up one of my afternoons.)

If you are this upset, I think you do have to talk to the parents. It would have been ideal if you had discussed the incident at the time but it's not too late. Give the boy's mom a call or send her an email. Explain that there was a "situation" between the two kids. Try not to sound accusatory but tell her exactly what her son said. Explain that your son is upset and it would be nice to clear the air between the two boys since they see each other from time to time.

It's very possible that she might get offended. This is her angel/genius/future President of the United States after all. And you have to be prepared for that. But hopefully, she'll understand and might be able to pull an "I'm sorry" out of the boy so that your son can sleep at night.

Unless this boy shows more violent behavior, I would not make too much out of this. It sounds like this kid is mimicking a video game or maybe copying an older brother. Boys love to pretend to shoot things and destroy things and I don't think it necessarily means he's Charles Manson's long lost son.

Let your son know that sometimes people say scary things and that he is perfectly safe.

Good luck,
Kelcey, TMH

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Josette at Halushki 19 pts

In my experience, some "He said/He said" situations with no objective witnesses call for approaching the other parent, but with room for mutual culpability. No one likes to be told their kid was being awful, even a parent who assumes their kid was the one being awful.I usually say something like, "My kiddo said that there was some kind of kerfuffle one the bus/at school/in the playground between him and your Louie. I just got my kid's version of the story. I'm wondering if your kiddo was upset, as well." And go from there. If it is a parent who is going to listen - but who may be having a hard time with a child and is just at a loss for what to do next, or is maybe embarrassed, or who might get defensive - this sort of sideways approach gives the parent a chance to deal with her kiddo/situation gracefully. You might also find out - as I did one time with a child who cried about another kid being mean - that there was some mutual misunderstanding, i.e. you can't play "real sword fight" and threaten another kid and then get upset when the other kid plays "real sword fight" back.

Stephanie MLou 5 pts

I will never get over what I overhear kids saying... That would freak my kids out and really piss me off, but if I sit back and think about it, if I got really mad about it then it would only make the situation more extreme in my child's eyes. Maybe it's just my kids, but the more worked-up I get, the more they "look" for things to get a big reaction out of me.

My first response would be to slap both that kid and his mother. Seriously. So sick of obnoxious children (mine are obviously perfect angels ;)). If this is the first run-in with that kid I would just keep an eye on it. If it's the 3rd or 5th I would try to talk to the mom. Probably won't do anything, but you'll feel better about protecting your child.

Like I said earlier, it is just stunning what kids say to each other sometimes. I can completely understand why it was so upsetting.