Here are three reasons why smart phones terrify me.

1) My 23 year-old nanny is now driving the baby around! She is fantastic but when she is at home, the phone buzzes constantly. So I had to figure out how to talk to her about safe driving when she has the baby, and I struggled with it because I felt awkward about it. I asked Sheila Marcelo, founder of Care.com, for her advice on how to talk to a caregiver about texting and driving. She says,

"I think the important thing is to start by sharing what’s happening that’s fact based, so it’s not taken as finger pointing and she’s not taking it personally. For example, “If you look at the statistics nowadays, texting is even worse than drunk driving. I think it’s a new phenomenon, we’re all learning and struggling with it, but these statistics coming out and the risks are high. Not only for the safety of your children but for her safety, it’s not anything personal, it’s just that it’s so important.”

I woman-ed up and talked to my nanny about texting. She assured me she never would, that he dad sends her all the PSAs and statistics and I don’t have to do that.

2) When I was walking my dog yesterday, a giant pickup truck hurtled the wrong way down my one-way street, and the driver was texting as he did it. He was oblivious to honking horns and me giving him the finger.

I am daily enraged by the legions of talking, emailing and texting drivers threatening me and my loved ones on the road. But sometimes, I fold. Last week, I was running late and I had to get on a conference call. So I did it on my cell phone (the baby wasn’t in the car) but lo and behold, I got pulled over for running a yellow light!

That very same day, I learned about Mom Sends the Msg, a new online campaign. The premise is that moms model behavior for the whole family: if we’re driving and device-ing everyone else will too. Yes, even with the best intentions, it’s really hard not to- as this mom wrote

My car and my cell phone are both Bluetooth enabled, and I still use the hand-set. I mean, have you ever tried talking via your Bluetooth with a very chatty 2-year-old in the back seat? Not exactly practical. I used to have a head set, but it didn’t work very well, kept falling out of my ear, and has long since been lost. But, enough excuses already.

So I urge you to visit Mom Sends the Msg, download a window sign to spread the message for other drivers, but most importantly, resist the urge to multitask in the car. If you don’t believe me, watch this moving video from Jennifer Smith who lost her mom to a texting driver.

3) How does my relationship with my phone impact my relationship with my kid? Safety issues aside, our children pay the price for our device-obsession. Every single child development expert I meet says the same thing: distracted, BlackBerrying parents hurt their children. Kids know when mom is tuned out. My life is tuned out- I have to consciously say to myself now, “put down the iPhone.”

On the flip side, I met recently with the former career director of an esteemed university. She noted that the undergrads she sees today are less resilient, less independent and have fewer coping skills when life hands them knocks. She believes a symptom of this phenomenon is that in between classes, she hears kids constantly on the phone to mom and dad, updating them on every detail of the day. She sees this as a symptom of a child-rearing society in which we’re too attached, too invested in our kids.

So when they’re young, we’re trying to work and raise them, and are maybe too distracted. And when they get older, we’re too attached, using the phone as a crutch? How can we win?

I’m writing this not because I’m trying to preach, but because I’m as addicted to my iPhone as anyone, and I feel very threatened and anxious by what smart phones represent. Opening my iPhone is a sort of Pandora’s box: I check messages, email, texts, Twitter, apps. I can’t stop once I’m in.

I try not to buy into public hysteria, but I think smart phone addiction is an epidemic. I only hope soon the glow of newness wears off and we can wean ourselves from them.

What do you think we can and should do to temper phone-mania?