You're Having An Affair....

and you probably don’t even know it, because you think having an affair is all about sex with someone other than your man/woman. But there is another type of affair that might hurt just a bit more…..an emotional affair. For some, an emotional affair is far more hurtful because it consists of a deeper connection,  yes…..even deeper than penetration. Sex can pop off at any moment but it takes time to develop an emotional connection with someone.

A relationship is an emotional connection between two people and when one individual goes outside of the relationship to seek some sort of fulfillment from someone else, this can lead to an emotional affair and may even cross the line into something physical. And (constant) flirting with someone, whom you know is interested in you, can be the bridge to that affair beginning.

Here are a few signs you just might be walking the tightrope to an emotional affair:

You think the other person understands you better than your partner: this is part of the illusion. That other person says all the things they know you want and need to hear to draw you closer to them and further away from your partner.  You begin to feel more and more comfortable talking to them and may even begin discussing your relationship with them, especially when you and your partner might be having an issue. That other person will always know exactly what you need to hear. They may even say “I wouldn’t do you like that.” “I don’t understand why he/she is tripping about it.” That other person, is there for you just how you need them to be…..emotionally.

You look forward to speaking to them more than you look forward to speaking to your man/woman: A smile comes across your face ever so quickly when you see their name pop up on your screen, while you have no problem ignoring a call from your man/woman. You ignore your boo, just so you can talk to the other person. And when you haven’t heard from that other person all day, you feel some type of way and that has an effect on your mood. You communicate with the other person more often than you communicate with your man/woman and eventually, you find yourself looking forward to communicating with them, while neglecting communication with the one you are in a relationship with.  You tell them good news before you tell your partner and you tell them more details about your day than you care to share with your man/woman.

You keep secrets: You lie about where you go after work, or who you went to lunch with, you delete any or ALL text messages or any sign you communicate with the other person. And you even camouflage their name in your phone, be it by their initials or some sort of nickname so your partner can’t identify who they are.  You take your phone with you even if you are about to take a shower. Your phone is always face down when your partner is around and you never reply to any messages from the other person when your partner is near you. And you tend to sneak to text them back when your partner isn’t paying attention. Your secret(s) bind you and the other person together and slowly eliminates the one you are actually in a relationship with.

You get defensive when your partner asks you who that person is: Now if you have nothing to hide, there should be no problem right? But instead you get defensive and may even get pissed the hell off that your partner has the audacity to ask you who that someone is. You rationalize the friendship over and over. “That’s just my homegirl/homie, you have nothing to worry about.” “Oh he/she is like a brother/sister to me, why you trippin?” “I’ve known them all my life, aint nothing to worry about.” You feel the need to constantly rationalize, but you provide your partner with rational lies! That person isn’t just a homie/homegirl, that person is more than a so-called brother/sister to you. And no one even said they were tripping,  your partner simply asked you a question, yet you feel the need to rationalize the friendship.

You fantasize about getting physical with them: Your text messages, Facebook messages and even your conversations become sexually charged. You might even begin tosend and exchange explicit pictures which has you wanting to just put your phone down and see things in person for yourself.

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