You're only as sick as they SAY you are!

Is there anything worse than taking your kid into the doctor for a throat culture?
PictureThat was a rhetorical question, the answer is no. She screamed, kicked, and said hurtful things that she's too sick to regret, but somehow the doctor was able to get that little stick all the way down her throat and swab it like a boss. And what did she find, aside from two golf ball sized tonsils peppered with something that looked like acne? 

When I was a kid, I always walked away from the doctor's office with SOMETHING death defying; like measles, strep or chicken pox. It was a grab bag of disease that never seemed to end and Dr. Gillotta was just the guy to fix it. But now... You pretty much have to be missing an appendage to get a prescription; and even then, you're told not to cash in until another one falls off.

So there she lies; like a washed up sea sponge that hasn't had a drink in weeks. Pay no attention to her 101° fever or the fact that she can't swallow anything thicker than cough drop spit–she's fine! And if it were up to our loving health care system, she'd be sitting in class right now, praying that she'll still be able to breathe by lunchtime.

It's a good thing I'm her mother or she might actually be in school right now spreading her non-illness all over the walls of her first grade class. Instead, she's sprawled out on the couch licking a spoonful of antibiotics that I wasn't supposed to give her unless the Strep Test came back positive. Call me crazy, call me a bad mother, but five-days being cooped up at home with a sick child is my limit. Especially when she throws up all over the sheets and blankets that I spent all afternoon cleaning. 

Viral my ass!



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