Zombies Ate My Homework

Zombies Ate My Homework


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Not exactly an exciting week end. Come home on Friday, unpack, do laundry, pack by Text-Enhance" id="_GPLITA_0" style="text-decoration: underline;">again, leave again. LATHER – RINSE – REPEAT

Which leaves me with this post…………..

Does your family have a zombie infestation plan? Sadly mine does.

We watch the Walking Dead.

Image(that is one fine redneck)

There I said it.

But by we, I mean the youngest and I. (take a number for calling child therapy)

I got called to school when the teacher showed Bambi with my oldest. She was traumatized. So the consumption of brains may not be for her.

Macgyver gets his blood and gore from any number of ‘food chain’ programs on the Animal Channel. A lion eating a zebra, a tiger eating a water buffalo, a hyena eating a gazelle, a leopard eating a gazelle, a wild dog eating a gazelle,  Come to think of it Gazelle’s are pretty but maybe not the sharpest tack in the box.

I hate watching the food chain, but I digress…………. (imagine that)

‘Paris’ and I will take our gore in the form of zombie brains by Text-Enhance" id="_GPLITA_1" style="text-decoration: underline;">thank you very much.

K, bought her a the book: The Zombie Survival Guide for Christmas. I’m to the point I don’t care what she is reading – as long as she is READING. (Can you imagine what this book report will look like)

Image I join the ranks of Lori’s parenting skills.

If you’ve ever watched the show you realize Lori skipped the parenting 101 class. I think I could market a book that is a take off of ‘Where’s Waldo’ we could call it ‘Where’s Carl’ That’s actually not a bad idea……….OK so maybe it is.

Anyway here are a few facts from the book:

1-Antibiotics have no effect on the ‘zombie infection’ – (hoard your ampicillin for something else, like the impending solar flare thingy)

2-”The average zombie life span is estimated at three to five years before completely rotting away”  (now you know)

3-”Zombies have repeatedly failed laboratory intelligence tests set at the level of rodents” (so have some humans I know)

4-” Cold hard figures have shown that when battling the living dead, nothing has saved more lives than tight clothing and shortly cropped hair” (Brittney Spears should be safe!)

*hold on,  I have to go tell C- that one. (she said I amuse myself more than any one else)

5- (in case of invasion) “Exercise daily. Use of a stationary bicycle along with basic calisthenics and dynamic tension, will keep your body fit and strong enough for any zombie combat situation” (I’m doomed)

I could go on and on- until the housekeeping zombie comes to clean- because that’s what I’m procrastinating.

So I leave you wit this thought: (in case of an undead outbreak) “Designate one corner of your back yard to serve as a latrine….” pg. 72- The Zombie Survival Guide – Max Brooks

SURELY- TO – THE – LOVE- I – COULD – HAVE – FOUND – SOMETHING – BETTER- TO – BLOG – ABOUT.

 

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